Esther Lauri
As a sexual assault therapist I got to see the faces of many victims who were assaulted by individuals who were often times most closest to them. In fact, according to RAINN (Rape, Abuse,and Incest National Network), 2/3 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.
A common theme started to unfold as I was counseling these women. Almost all the women who knew their assailant stated a knowledge of the assailant viewing pornography on a regular basis. In my personal life I was fighting a similar battle with my husband who was also viewing pornography on a regular basis. Because of our commitment to each other and our relationship with Christ we were able to work through our issues and use the foundation of our struggles and success to help others.
Christ has provided me a unique opportunity to help other women and families from an educators perspective as well as someone who has lived in the pain and seen God’s promise fulfilled. After 10 years of marriage and three beautiful and spunky children I can proudly say marriages can be healed, families can be restored and hope can be found when Christ is the center of it all. Taking one day at a time.
Esther Lauri
In America, sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world, it's a fact. - Marlene Dietrich
Would you agree that sex has become an obsession in America? When my parents were children sex was never talked about. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, stars of I Love Lucy slept in separate beds never making mention of sex. In fact all the shows on TV were rated G in terms of sexual conduct.
That’s...
A teacher I knew in high school used to tell me, “women use sex to get love and men use love to get sex.” Do you think that’s true? I happen to agree whole heartedly with that statement.
Growing up I spent a lot of time seeking love in all the wrong places. When I wasn’t getting it the way I thought I should I used sex as a tool to “feel” loved. The closeness of someone else was just the...
Where’s God when we need him most. It seems like that is the time he is the hardest to find. When we go through trials in our marriage and we feel empty and alone we should be able to turn to our faith for comfort and guidance. Some people do this easier than others and laying their worries at the feet of the cross is the first thing they do. However, there are many others that struggle as I...
I’ve considered myself blessed many times because my husband was willing to seek for his addiction. That has been the saving grace of our relationship and his freedom from addiction.
However, not everyone is willing to seek help. It’s difficult for some people, especially some men to admit to a counselor or accountability partner that they can’t handle their problem on their own. Since I...
Pornography and/or sex addiction is not something most people are willing to talk about. It’s a topic most people keep quiet about. This is one of the main reasons Craig Gross titled his book, “The Dirty Little Secret.” Most struggle in silence and don’t know where to go for help. Being willing to seek help is the first step to being free of the chains that bind you. When looking for help...
When I first found out about my husband’s addiction I thought, he could just stop. Well, after multiple fights and multiple times of me catching him in lies or looking at pornography I realized this was a battle he wasn’t going to win on his own. I felt like it was up to me to swoop in and save the day like some superhero saving the damsel in distress.
The first couple months of my “mission”...
“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” Martin Luther King Jr.
About 6 months into my marriage I woke up late one night to find my husband not in our bed. I got up and walked into our office, only to find him looking at pornography. He tried to hide it but wasn’t quick enough as he didn’t hear me coming. That was the start of our...
About a month ago on a Wednesday night some friends and I thought it would be fun to go roller skating, something we haven’t done in close to 15 years. As we laced up our old speed skates (cause the brown, high ankle ones are way not cool) we laughed as we discussed who would be the first to fall on their behind making a total fool of themselves in the crowd of about a hundred 12-15 year...
You know that feeling like there’s something in the room with you even though physically you see nobody there? No, I’m not talking about a ghost or spiritual being. I’m talking about what some people call the elephant in the room, the lingering issue that never feels resolved.
That’s what it’s like for a woman who tries to be intimate with her husband while knowing he’s addicted to...
