Some of you are more courageous than me.

I never shared my sexual struggles.  I isolated.  I covered up.  I hid.  I guarded myself from getting too close to others.  Even when I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit over my sexual sin, I pushed Him away.  I did not have the guts to come forward and seek help.

I thought I could handle my struggles.  I thought I was strong enough to overcome...

Does going to Barely Legal sites make us more prone to act out with youth and children?

Yes.  Of course it does.

All of us say we would never touch a child.  We say we will never look at child porn.  But if we’re hanging around Barely Legal sites, we’re dangerously close to looking at child porn and closer than we think to acting out sexually with a minor.

Here’s why:

We Are Sexually Triggered...

I want to share some practical ways you can get help with your sexual struggles. 

ONE EXTREME CAUTION
You can’t do this by yourself.  We sexual strugglers have a bad history of isolating – some of us for several decades.  We are in hiding and we’d like to manage this on our own.  You can’t.  Porn, masturbation, adultery, or any type of sexual sin is too big.   I am sharing some self-education...

In our sexual purity journey we have to deal with lies, yes… but our lies live in a larger arena called deception.  Deception where we really need to focus in order to find victory over sexual sin.

LYING HAS MANY FACETS
Lies happen when we tell untruths (sins of commission) and when we omit key parts of the truth (sins of commission).  We lie to cover up. 

Lies are always darkness.  They are...

Earlier this month I wrote the article “How Do I Know if I Have a Sexual Addiction?”  In the article, I shared that your sexual behaviors have turned into an addiction when:

• You can’t stop.
• Your behaviors get worse.
• You need more of the behavior to feed your desire.
• Your behaviors are affecting your priorities, family, work and relationships.
• You turn to the behaviors to alter your mood or...

I watch Internet porn all the time… but am I addicted?

I have sex with my girlfriend most of the times we go out… is that a sexual addiction?

I masturbate almost every day, but I feel bad about it… that wouldn’t be a sexual addiction, would it?

I’m not sure the diagnosis or the labeling of a “sexual addiction” is the very helpful.  What is important is:

• Do I realize I have a problem?
• Do I...

Two days ago on this blog I shared part of my story, how I started surfing for porn on my work computer and couldn’t stop.  My boss gave me an ultimatum.  My wife gave me an ultimatum.  I gave myself an ultimatum.  But I still fell back into my pornography habit.

Then I asked a series of questions.  What do you think happened?  What would you do?  How did this story work out?

We had some good...

Let’s do a case study together.

The story you’re about to read is 100% true.  The events and feelings that occurred happened.  Events occurred in real time (about 4 years ago).  No names were changed to protect Jeff Fisher.

I worked in a denominational office in the Northeast.  Our office had an unprotected computer at work.  I had struggled with looking at porn and masturbating since I was in...

There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza,
There's a hole.
Then fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

When we slip in our sexual purity journey it’s a good idea to look for holes.
•    None of us will have a foolproof strategy.  
•    None of us are fully mature.  
•    None of us can anticipate every...

Jesus teaches accountability in Scripture, not to bring punishment, shame, or guilt, but to uplift grace and bring glory to the Father.

God’s grace is about honor and freedom, not bondage. Grace is unmerited and inspiring. It’s compassionate and merciful, not condemning. How can accountability be anything less than that? Too often we allow Satan to distort our view of accountability with God...