Over the years, I have heard countless apologies from my husband. He has said that he is sorry while he was in his addiction, when he has relapsed and a million times in between. Apologies from addicts can mean a lot of different things. Sometimes it means, "I'm sorry for what I've done." Other times it means, "I'm sorry that I got caught." And sometimes it's just something that is said...

My husband’s all time favorite movie is Rocky. He says that it’s not about the fight scenes. It’s not even about the scene where Rocky runs up the museum steps declaring victory. He says that the best part of the movie is near the end when Rocky tells Adrian that he knows he won’t win the big fight but he has to get in the ring and give it all he has anyway. He has to go the distance. My...

I thought about giving up on our marriage. 

Often. 

In the months after my husband disclosed the full extent of his addiction I felt like I was at war. There was an ongoing battle over whether I should stay in the marriage or go. Whether I could forgive him or not. Whether I could begin to let go of my hate and hurt to make room for healing. 

I was at war with him. I was at war with the...

Most of the guys that I knew at my secular college viewed pornography openly. It was at countless college parties and joked about with friends like it was the punch line of a joke. I don't remember porn ever bring treated like the threat that it is so I never really viewed it as one. With this naive view of porn I wasn't very surprised when pornography made it's way into our marriage on our...

Here's a question that I got in my email inbox recently. I thought it was a good question so I thought I would delete the personal content and repost the question and some of my answer here:

I've read bits and piece of your story and am wondering how you handle hearing details of your husband's addiction. Every time he tells me things I feel like I'm reliving the experience over again. It...

I recently had two separate conversations with two different friends about confession and accountability. Both conversations centered around how difficult it is to establish relationships of true accountability. Finding someone that you can confess to requires that there is mutual trust, both parties are willing to be vulnerable, and that there is a level of commitment to each other... no one...

This has been on my heart for a few weeks:

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:12,13

Recently a friend came to the end of her struggle with cancer. Despite a two year battle,...

I posted this a while ago but recently the question of accountability has made it's way into a few comments and a lot of emails. So, I figured it might be a good time to post this one again.

Before you read it I should note that these is no set game plan for accountability. This is what has worked for me. A good friend of mine is her husband's accountability partner and that works for...

I was five months pregnant when I discovered that my husband was hiding a secret addiction to pornography. Many women assume that their husband's relationship with porn has something to do with the way that they look. This was especially true for me. It was impossible for me to compete with the models featured in adult videos and magazines. Especially during pregnancy. I convinced myself that...