I'm a 24 yr old ordained minister about to graduate from Bible school. I've been in full time ministry for 6 years now, and been preaching for 10. The thing is, I've also been addicted to pornography since I was about 15. It started out small, but has grown a lot since then. Anything from erotic stories, videos, pictures, even online sex chat. Sometimes I even make a fake profile to chat with people I know. The web I've created for myself is too big for me to handle, and I know I can't get out of it alone. But my fear is, that my heart has grown cold to the Holy Spirit convicting me of it, because even though I know it is wrong and I shouldn't be doing it - for some reason I don't feel guilty about it. I'm frustrated at the fact that I don't feel guilty because I know that guilt would help me desire to stop ... but since I don't feel guilty I justify that it must be okay because there is no remorse. I pray constantly for God to convict me greatly for it ... but it doesn't happen. People talk about this overwhelming feeling of guilt or ugliness --- I don't have that, not even a little. It's weird that I want it though, I want that conviction so that I can stop. I pray every day for it - and I pray that God would help me stop ... yet it seems like empty words because it doesn't happen. I don't know what to do anymore, I've grown so apathetic and cold towards it that I don't even know how to go about stopping. When I'm at school, they have internet firewalls that prevent me from looking up pornographic things ... but that's when I resort to the sex chat stuff. Please pray for me, that I would be convicted from God so powerfully that I'm overwhelmed with shame and would want to stop. I don't want to be a dirty minister preaching the Word from behind the pulpit with sex secrets in private.