I have been a Pastor since being married which has been nearly 4 years. However we have been in a state of reconstruction due to lack of commitment. Since the time of being married we have had various issues arise that has kept our sexual relationship a distant memory. Without exaggeration i can say since we've been married we have maybe had sexual relations maybe 10-15 times in nearly 4 years. I found myself very distraught about this at times where i would catch myself looking at other women (would never entertain the thoughts), and being curious about the porn sites that would pop up in searches over the internet but i would not entertain them at first because of having to use a credit card didn't want it to show up on our bank statement. It was not until one popped up that was totally free that i entered it and would leisurely watch maybe once or twice a month or every other month. However i know this isnt right to do, i just dont know what to do. I am missing sexual fulfillment in my life and i believe pornography will hinder my life in becoming all that God wants me to be. I do not want to continue to let God down nor those that i know he would have me minister to. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.