So I started masturbating when I was about 13 years old. After I discovered it, I thought wow this is great. I feel so good. So I keep doing it and doing it. Then After a while I took a step back and said this sucks. I hate it. I would go into my room at random times during the day and masturbate. It even got so bad that I would be pissed at the people that disturb me when I was doing it. I have tried quitting in the past, but just cant.

Pornography was the same thing. I have been caught by my parents twice when I was younger. I always told them that I would quit, but never did. I just got better hiding it. I then went to college and it got even worse. Most of the time I was looking up porn ever night to masturbate. I hated the way it made me feel. I then went to a marriage retreat that I had to go for to get married in my church. I heard that looking up porn was like cheating on your wife. I stopped right then and there, but now that my wife doesn't live with me, cause of work, I have fell back.

This has really hurt me because now whenever I'm around my wife the only thing I think about is sex. I think about us having sex. Then when we go to bed I get disappointed when we don't have sex. I can't help but try almost every night. It really is starting to make me angry with myself. Even though I tell myself that I'm dirty for doing it, I can't stop. I need help from everyone on ways that I can shake this sickness that I have.