so, i've done all i can do to beat this porn/lust crap. for awhile it was really bad, every single day looking at things i thought i'd never look at on the internet. it was a full-blown addiction. then after a few months and the Lord showing me that it had to go, i repented. i was porn-free for months. then, one day it started again. (this has happend many, many times in the past 2 yrs.) a few months ago i heard of safe eyes and x3 and got the filters, the accountability partner, the whole nine yards. none of these detrered me from looking at this vicious, violent, destructive thing called porn. i found loopholes, started masturbating much more instead of just porn, etc. i recently moved to FL to be part of a really neat church. when i first got here, i had no need to look at porn. i thought it had left me. but here and there, once in awhile i stumble yet again. its slowly becoming more frequent and i know i'm only one or two looks away from being in full blown addiction mode.
I guess my point is this, I need more than just internet filters. more than confession and accountabilty. i guess i've gone too far for that to work..idk. i really want this thing defeated before i get married and have kids. i'm also sick of doing this to my Jesus. He's done so much for me and i feel i'm slapping him in the face when i stumble. i know i'm forgiven, i know that Christ is way more than sufficiant to beat this. I'm quite aware of the power of my flesh. Are there any suggestions on what to do when the filters and stuff fail to keep my flesh restrained? i mean, when i get the urge, i'll do whatever to fullfill it. the flesh is too strong. i know if i pray instead of looking at it i'd be fine. but when it happens, the last thing i wanna do is pray! please help and PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. :)