XXXchurch: MENS BLOG

Admitting your wrong is never easy. I was in the basement of my house in tears knowing that despite my desire I fell into looking at porn again. I had the accountability software and accountability from my wife, I still fell. I was at a loss for words, but I had to let my wife know I fell to my temptation.

There was a loop in the software I could use and I went for it. I tried it out and thought it worked great. Back to my element sat in my head as I looked at porn knowing what I was doing was wrong and not what I was trying for. I made a mistake the accountability software I had was still working. First I was disappointed it didn’t work because I wanted to sin, I wanted this. It turned to tears as I disobeyed my wife and our marriage. How do I tell my wife I disobeyed my vow to her and let her know?

There is no easy way to say I cheated on you. No flowers, apologies or chocolates can ease the pain that you cheated. You just have to own up to it. I had to admit I was in the wrong. Still in tears, I called my wife. She answered and I had trouble coming up with the words to say. The words were like a dagger in my mouth. I didn’t speak for a while. She thought something was wrong with our daughter before I said that I looked at porn and cheated on her. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. Admitting I cheated is not easy.

You can only fix what is broke. Nobody is perfect, everyone will slip up from time to time. This doesn’t mean you are an awful person, it just means you are human. My wife was understanding and reminded me that there will be times that I fall and struggle with this. She showed me more grace then I deserve. If you haven’t told your wife you have cheated then you can’t move forward in your life. You will be stuck like glue at the same spot.

Telling your wife is not easy, but it’s the easiest way to go to getting the help you need.