Pastors Blog

3 thingsI can clearly remember the crushing weight of carrying my secret porn addiction onto the church stage each week. It felt like a million pounds on my chest. At times I wondered whether or not a person could die from stress. If so, I certainly felt like a candidate.

I would regularly commit to myself that this will be the last time, only to find myself feeling frustrated and defeated after...

ChurchDoes anyone else ever get tired of seeing pastors or churches blow up in sex or pornography scandals? I don’t say this to bash those who have fallen. In fact my heart goes out to them. I say this because as a Christian and pastor, I find it discouraging.

Not because I think Christians shouldn’t ever screw up.

Not because these situations make us the butt end of a joke.

Not even because we look...

pastorI’ve had two conversations lately with senior pastors who found themselves in bad situations. After years of hidden porn addiction, they decided they didn’t want to keep living like this, so they confessed to their wives and then called me to talk about their next steps.

Out of every hundred calls I get, only two are ever like this. Two from pastors who didn’t get caught, who came clean on...


You thought we didn’t know. 

You thought it was a secret. 

But the truth is out for both pastors and youth pastors: sexual sin is destroying you.

Chances are, if you’re reading this, then it’s because you already know you’re risking everything, and you’re at this site trying to keep the pieces together before they shatter.

 All I have for you is encouragement.

For many of you, I’d...

ForgivenessI once heard it said that the greatest reason we forgive is not necessarily for the other person’s benefit, but for our own healing. What I think we often forget is that forgiveness comes with a cost attached to it. It means that we refuse to hold onto the offense, hurt, regret, or anger we so desperately think belongs to us.

For so many of us who once struggled with a sexual addiction — and...

the point of recoveryWhat’s the point of recovery? I ask this because I believe that many of us see recovery as the goal rather than a means to a goal. Let me explain.

For many, the reason they seek freedom from porn is because they just want to stop looking at it. Now while I agree that not looking at porn is a great goal, I think it’s a short sighted one.

For me, I think of porn addiction as something that...

The Mission: Why Porn?

by X3 on January 7 2014 in Pastors Blog | Comments

Sometimes people wonder...why does XXXchurch exist? Why did we make pornography our ministry focus? Why did we choose to ruffle feathers and pull back the curtain on this industry? Why didn’t we focus on something a little more culturally tolerable, something that isn’t so much of a punch line?

Because people matter, that’s why.

The numbers alone are staggering. Consider:

  • 40 million adults...

As a pastor, you get to hear a lot of secrets; but how often do you get to tell your own? I don't know if you have ever told somebody a secret, but it feels really good. Whether it's a secret about some new direction your life is taking, or about the surprise party you're throwing for your best friend's birthday, or the news about a baby on the way, getting it off your chest and into the air,...

[Editor's Note: Today's post is an excerpt from the book "The Gutter: Where Life Is Meant to Be Lived" by Craig Gross.]

Many times I have discovered that I banish people to the gutter when they don’t believe like me, act like me, speak like me, or look like me, but it is in the gutter that Jesus defined his model for the most effective ministry. When I miss Jesus’ example to the gutter, it’s...

An Open Market

by Craig Gross on September 19 2013 in Pastors Blog | Comments

[Editor's note: today's post is an excerpt from Craig Gross's new book, Open. You can read more about the book at]

Being open takes some work on your behalf, and that work starts with some serious honesty. Can I tell you a story? This is a story that takes place in London, England, a few hundred years ago, which is mind-boggling to some of us Americans, since our country wasn’t even...