1. You are adamant that it is not your issue
2. Your eyes scan every woman who walks into the room
3. You unexpectedly go silent
4. You find yourself searching for sexual partners online just for research
5. You go out of your way to drive by strip clubs
6. You call escorts to ask questions without making a commitment
7. You erase your temporary Internet history daily
8. You only search the...
Invasion: An incursion; an effort to conquest or plunder.
Has pornography invaded my life? The answer to that question is more dynamic than one might think. Yes, porn has invaded my life in that it is everywhere; porn is media driven, socially ambiguous and cultural prevalent. As a pastor, I feel as though I am always under constant attack in this manner. Go ahead and do a quick Google search...
"There is no such thing as a free lunch"
I was about to pay the "reaper" for years of secret consumption.
At this point I wish I could say I was the courageous one who had had an epiphany and decided to change his life for the best and boldly walked the road of redemption, healing and finally glory. Instead I was a coward hiding in the shadows living in fear that as a minister my dark...
The process of facing addictions head on is a very frightening course of action. When we suddenly realize that we have behaviors that are addictions or behaviors that are harmful we have 2 choices. We can either choose the process of healing or we can choose to turn inward creating a wall of denial where we pretend everything is just fine. My hope is we choose the former.
In 12 step programs...
Have you noticed how beginnings can be so small, random and seemingly serendipitous? I have just finished reading another biography where the success of the main character can be traced back to a small event that if not jumped upon could have been missed. For great or for destruction the beginning often seems so harmless.
The trap was set and I walked straight into it and was snared, they...
The only way we can ever make a choice for Godly sex is first to understand what God’s design for sex is. To tackle this we first have to admit that we are sexual beings. God created us as physical,mental,spiritual, and sexual beings. This means that sexual expression in a God honoring way is not only good but part of God’s plan. After all sex was created before the fall. Genesis 1:22 And God...
I was sitting in a room with about 60 women when the question was asked, “Is it okay to use sex toys in your marriage?” Honestly, I was not sure how to answer the question. What sex toys are we talking about? That was the wrong question. The conversation spun out of control and brought me way outside my comfort zone. After an uncomfortable minute I handed off the question to another XXXchurch...
There is an old Indian saying ‘The first thirty years you make habits, the next thirty years those habits make you’.
The lifestyle of a sexual addict has ‘owned’ me since I was a teenager who discovered a discarded porno magazine and let it into my life. Granted others may not have been captured as quickly or as totally as I was, but there seemed to be a ‘filling’ connection for a moment that...
Is S&M the new normal? How do we as pastors talk about this in council?
Well... is it? It certainly is becoming more mainstream, normative in media and general cultural conversation. But is it a socially accepted genre or it is still a closeted vice that should stay there? As our culture progresses more and more liberally, you can expect S&M to become more commonplace, and therefore something...
Why is winning so difficult? What an easy slide it was into an addiction to pornography, I wish my natural inclination was to chase purity just as hard as it chased destruction.
I have always struggled with disciplines. I am the last minute guy it’s feast or famine when it comes to exercise, bible study, prayer, sermon prep, maintenance. While the thought of being ‘found out’ was my greatest...
