Porn Didn’t Make Me Stronger, It Made Me Weaker

It’s true. Porn doesn’t make you stronger. It doesn’t make you more of a man or more of a woman. Some may think that they have the right to do as they please and to view porn and masturbate whenever they feel like it. But if it’s really ok and if it really makes you “more of a person,” why does every addict of it always do it in secret? Plus, the Bible says this:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NKJV: Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? ²⁰ For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your bodyand in your spirit, which are God’s.

Here’s the thing about porn. It doesn’t just take over the mind. It takes over the senses. You begin to lose control. And if you don’t get out of it, your life is headed to dark place. Images stay around in your mind for years.

I can still remember the very first pornographic image I ever saw in relative detail. I was no more than 7 or 8 years old. I found one of my grandfather’s playboy magazines. I had no idea what I was even looking at. But here we are, at least 20 years later, and I can still remember it. And that’s not all-I can remember other images after the addiction took root some 10 years later.

Fast forward to high school. I was going to a private school at the time. Did you catch that part? PRIVATE school. Don’t think this stuff is isolated to just the secular world. This was a Christian private school. We had just gotten internet at our house. Many days, when my mom came to pick me up from school, my friend would come with us to our house where his mom would pick him up and take him home.

The computer was in my room. My friend began wanting to look up questionable material. It ranged from soft core porn to voyeur type porn. I hadn’t yet gotten into the hard core. In any case, we got caught. I confessed to my parents that it wasn’t just my friend. I had gone along with it. They promptly installed an internet filter and grounded us from the computer for a couple of weeks.

That was the end of it for a few years. But then it became a full on addiction in college. And here’s the kicker. I was a theology major. Yes, you read that right. I wanted to serve God in ministry. I don’t remember exactly what set it off. Maybe it was the fact that a friend of mine was going through a struggle with porn (different friend) and that made me curious. Again.

I began surfing porn in my dorm room, as well as at my parents house. Except by this point, I knew how to cover my tracks. And I began viewing more than pictures and the aforementioned categories. I went for the hard core pictures and videos. Thank the Lord I never got into the kind that could get someone arrested. But that doesn’t make the sin any less major.

I met my first girlfriend in 2004. We began dating in May of 2005 and by that fall, after not seeing each other because of summer jobs, we began exploring physical pleasure. After things got out of hand one night, virginity still intact though at this point, I confessed to her my struggle. Somewhere around this point I had discovered x3watch and installed it. But I still struggled.

We broke up in April of 2006. I dated a couple of other girls and then started dating the woman who became my wife. I still struggled all the while. I hid the addiction from my wife during out dating phase and into 2 years of our marriage. Again I installed x3watch. I still struggled. It seems, sometimes, no matter how much you may want to quit an addiction, deep down, sometimes you really don’t want to.

But I began to notice something. The more I viewed porn and masturbated, I started wanting physical time with my wife less. I knew I had to stop. But I lacked something important. As much as it pains me to admit it, especially having graduated with a B.A. in Theology, I wasn’t as close to God as people may have thought. In fact, there were long stretches where God and I barely talked.

Last year, though, in 2011, I rediscovered God. I began seeking Him again. And through the blood of Jesus, I began to have victory over this addiction and sin. And trust me, I’m still tempted. Images pop up in the memory from time to time. But this is when I have to remember 1 Corinthians 10:13:

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

My wife was a great support. Yes she was upset when I messed up. But can you blame her? But she’s never given up on me. She encouraged me in the struggle to overcome and she still encourages me today. Temptations still come. But God has promised me what you see in the paragraph just above. And He gave me an awesome wife that won’t give up on me, just like God won’t give up on me or you.

See, men? Porn doesn’t make us stronger. It doesn’t make us more of a man. It makes us weaker. It makes us forsake our duties as husbands, fathers, brothers, uncles, etc.. It has to be overcome. Until you ask Jesus for His help, you will never have success in battling this addiction. Take the hand of Jesus. You won’t regret it. It will take time to overcome an addiction as gripping as this. But I promise, it will be worth it, and you will be stronger in Jesus. It’s never too late.

I leave you with one more Scripture.

Philippians 4:13 NKJV:  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Accountability is a key component in recovery. XXXchurch.com offers two options for accountability.

X3 Groups is a online based group that meets weekly at the same time offering personal accountability with others. This is an option if you are unable to find someone in your area that will offer this help.

X3 Watch is another option that goes hand in hand with the X3 Groups and any accountability. This is a program that can be placed on either your computer or mobile devices.