Men - Questions
I have often wondered about this... is masturbation wrong? this has been something that has plagued me for a long time... and I'm sure that I'm not the only one out there. is it a sin to masturbate? will this behavior hurt me in my future marriage?
We have had literally thousands of emails about this particular issue. We have heard all the scenarios. "Well if I think about fruit while I'm masturbating, then that is not a sin." Well isn't that clever. Or..."If I'm giving glory to the Lord while I'm doing it, then that can't be wrong." Hmmm. Why don't we just make that part of our Sunday morningspan> services then? We have heard all the Pro-masturbation Christian arguments and we wonder if these people are dealing in reality. It's all very intellectual and quite scholarly, but we still don't get it. Sorry.
Our stance is simply this: you want to live a life that is honoring to God then start pleasing him and stop pleasing yourself. Stop making excuses and get some control over your life. Yes, it is tough. Yes, we know hormones are raging. However, God is calling us to holiness. Live an extraordinary life. Masturbation will leave you hanging every time! It is a selfish act that pleases no one but YOU. God created sex to be between a man and his wife. Not a man and his girlfriend and not a man or woman with himself or herself.
I know that God designed sex for inside of marriage. But I'm completely stuck on what the bible deems as healthy when you are married. What is sexually acceptable? Is it ok to have other types of sex, other than intercourse once inside of marriage e.g. Anal, oral Any thoughts on this would be most appreciated
We get this question from time to time. Sex within your marriage is a gift just as you have said and it is ment for you to share with one another how you like.
As long as you and your wife agree with what you are doing and it is understood that it is completly OK with one another go for it. As long as it is between the two of you.
Big thing here is that BOTH of you are Ok with what you are doing. Once it gets to a point where one does not want it and the other guilts or forces it upon the other it is wrong.
Hey I have installed xxx church on my mac. I have never received a report neither have my accountability partners . How do j know if this thing is running on my mac. I removed my self from the list of parters and I never got an email saying anything I tried to upgrade bit that won't work please help this is bringing me heat at home with the wife...
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I have seeked forgiveness from God, and do believe I have been forgiven and that He is Lord of my life. I have stopped with all my problems. I used to watch stupid videos. It wasnt like traditional porn like people having sex but it was like girls flashing or getting naked. Im not excusing it, it still very much caused major problems in my life. I do feel that I am getting better at this stage in my life. My wife has even supported me through this when I expected her to throw me out. The trouble Im having is that i am still having "wet dreams" I am 32 years old. I hate this... It makes me feel awful all over again and condemned. I ask forgiveness with God. I dont understand it. Is this something from my past that is an attack of the enemy or does this mean I still have problems. I swear I dont go to bed trying to have these thoughts they just come out of nowhere and I would love to know what I need to do. Thanks for your help. I am very embarrassed and have been looking for help all over the internet, and didnt know who else to ask. Sincerely Andy
Andy,
This is a way for your body to release it's self. If you find yourself having dreams at night that are of sexual images your mind is thinking this while you are sleeping. As you get farther and farther away from the sexual images this will go away. This is not something you need to be ashamed of as it is natural and not something you are doing.
Do you believe that after having sex with a girl you should see it through and marry her? Me and my girlfriend had pre marital sex and stopped but since our relationship has fallen apart, i also have an addiction to porn but the communication is so bad it feels like she will break up with me if I tell her. I feel like she is only with me because of it, is it better to just break it off or should i continue to try and repair our relationship.
Because you decided to have sex out side of marriage does not mean that you need to pursue marriage with this girl. You do need to start to work on the issue you have at hand with your addiction to pornography. Find someone who will be able to be your accountability partner and help you to change your ways. You also should spend more time with God and find out His true way of life for you.
How will i be able to refrain from watching porn. I try so hard to stop. I have even also prayed to god and asked for strength, but i always resort to porn. Please give me a personal reply. I dont need porn in where im headed in life. Please help!!! Thanks and God bless!!!
We understand that this is a tough battle that you are going through right now and you need to get it under control with being such a young age. Admitting to the fact that you have and addiction to this is one of the first steps.
Confess this to God and tell Him that you want to change and that you want for Him to send people in your life who will help you win this fight. He will hear your pray and He is a powerful God but, He will not just come down here and stop it for you. He will provide you the tools and the resources but, He wants you to step and do this thing.
After you have talked to God about this find someone right away that you know who can be your accountability partner. Someone who you see often and will have the ability to hold you accountable at all costs. Being your age I would suggest it be someone who is your elder and will be able to provide good mature counsel on this issue. This can be someone from your church, family member, and maybe even your parents. I know this step is tough but, you have to do this if you want to get free from this. You will not be able to do this on your own.
After you have an accountability partner you need to sit down with them and build a plan figure out what your triggers are and how they affect you. Get accountability software. If the internet or mobile devices are you hang up and this is where you turn to get your porn, get accountability and filter software right away and get this covered. We have a great program called X3 Watch that you could use for this. Set up a meeting schedule to meet with your accountability partner to discuss how things are going and if you are following your sobriety plan that you have developed with them.
Do not think this will go away over night; you have trained your brain to need this crap and you will need to train your brain that it is not needed and that it will hurt you. Celebrate small victories and do not give up if there are stumbles, keep going and dig in for the fight. Please know that you are not alone in this and thaGod loves you so much. He will never remove His love for you because of what you did, are doing, or might do during your recovery. We are here praying for you and know that you can do this.
My son is asking if he can play the on-line game, World of Warcraft. He is almost 16 and we have SafeEyes installed on the computer he can access. What are your thoughts on this gaming website and can it lead to sex sites or unprovoked interactions with other players? Does SafeEyes provide protection in this area?
Thanks for info you can share. Your ministry is right on!
Dan,
Honestly this game is not something that we are to familiar with. Safe eyes will not pick this up because you are not using a Internet browser to operate it. I would do some more research on line and see what you find there. Online rooms and items that allow for chatting are always avenues for possible adult items.Sorry we could not be much more help.
Any plans for development of x3 watch for the Nook? Or, have you found any way to permanently disable wireless for Nook (I have first generation, WiFi only version). I've searched online with no luck. thanks.
Right now there have not been any plans for the nook. We would love to have this for all systems but, need to finish the ones we are workin gon and perfect the ones we have right now.
Hi there, I am in Canada located in Toronto, Ontario. Although, I was browsing through the web finding way to stop watching pornography and masturbation until I saw your video, which I really do appreciate that you are sending a message out, because once your in it is truly an addiction. Since the age of 15 I have been watching porn, thinking at first that it is nothing I will be able to get over it, yet I was completely wrong about and now I am 20 years old. It kills me at times, thinking about how much I have come to sin, and yet I still continue to do so at most 5 to 6 times a day, it has affected my social life. I am not saying I am ugly or unfit, I work out everyday girl say I am cute, but it as become a drug which I honestly am hopeless, where I cannot try to beat. I pray to the lord everyday, I mean everyday trying to seek refugee of the here after and yet it keeps on going. Although, I know I am Muslim and you're Christian, I hope this does not have any barriers on helping my situation out, because I cannot go to a conference meet and disclose this info, I do not have the will power. However, I hope you do take my matter serious and try to help out if you can, because we are all brothers and sister who rooted down from Adam and eve. Thank you and god bless you keep the excellent work guys.... Mr king
you need to talk to someone about this and get accountability with your struggles. Sit down and develop a plan to cut this sin right at the knees. Place accountability software on your computer, mobile phone, and/or your mobile devices. We suggest X3 Watch for accountability software which you can download for free at www.x3watch.com. You should also place a filter on your computer as well. We suggest www.safeeyes.com. This would be like having an alarm on your house and then locking the door with both of these on your computer. When you do get a filter you should have your accountability partner set the password so that you can not just change it when you want to look at porn.
You have to remove this from your life completely. Get rid of any movies, pictures, files, or any item with adult content. Destroy it and be done with it but, when you destroy it do it in a way that will not allow for this to get into someone else’s hands. If the filters and accountability software will not work then you may have to take drastic measures and remove your computer, get an older phone without Internet, or remove the Internet from your computer. It all
comes down to completely removing it and the temptation from your life.
All too often we work on our habits of viewing porn instead of the reasons why we view porn. You need to get down to the root issues of why you go back to it and keep doing so. This may take some time and effort to discover this. But through talking with people about this or your accountability partner you will begin to see areas of your life, your past, and items that trigger your porn use. I strongly recommend counseling for this as they can really get there a lot faster than we can by providing great tools to deal with the items that arise.
Everyone is different but, a few things that I have found that worked in my recovery and from other I want to share with you.
Dive into the word daily. Spend time with God and find out what you have been missing and He will show you things you may not have before.
Track your day and see when you’re most prone to look at porn. From here developed a daily plan to counter attack these temptations based on your observation of your own patterns.
Discover your triggers. When you look back and think of when you were most venerable, what was going on at the time? Were you stressed out, tires, bored, angry, or lonely? These are some of the key triggers for people and you need to locate them and be aware of it. When you notice your trigger topic happening you then need to react and move away from it. It may take sometime to notice and be aware of it but, this is very important.
Share with others: this can also be tough to do but, it will help you grow and heal faster. Also we know how lonely this feels to be trapped like this to porn. We also know that when others see that there is someone else who has been through it or going through it they are more willing to seek help or talk about it. You never know this could be a start to a small group of people who meet and hold each other accountable.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can work through this. Yes; it will not be easy but it can be done. We are here for you and praying for you.
can my friend turn off his account without letting anyone knowing? and then turn it back on?
No; the software should kick out a email to you letting you know that it has been turned off.
