Men - Questions
Hello,
I have had a long habit of masturbating since I was 12 and earlier this year, I have found Christ. I am a true follower. I now know that my body was paid for a price (it is a holy temple of God) and that it is a sin to lust/covet over something that I do not need. God must be the first and only person on my intimate love list.
Thanks to God, I am now free from my strong addiction of Porn and masturbation. It has been 3 months since I've looked at a nude woman or touched my penis in any way. Constant prayer to God helped me out.
Sadly, I am still having trouble with thinking about masturbation. These past few months have been hard for me because the thought of "masturbating without lust/covetion" pops into my mind almost every hour of each day. My mind is telling me that it is something I can still do as long as I forgive God every time! I believe that this is a mind-trap from satan that will cause a full relapse and drop me down to the old sinful Josh. I do my best to think of God standing right in front of me saying "NO"...but it doesn't help me at all!
My heart knows that stopping masturbation was a great sacrifice to God for I no longer need to lie in order to hide my masturbation toys. I have blocked ALL ways for me to access any XXX treasures. I even replaced my bedroom doorknob with a broken knob without a latch so the door never stays shut. My TV is gone and I only use my computer for college work. Sadly, I'm still experiencing my cold turkey of masturbation. I am not sure when (or if) it will subdue. While my heart knows the true answer, my mind is still thinking that I do not lust or covet when masturbating and it is something I can still do as long as I forgive God every time! Yes, God gave me a huge sex drive with a ton of testosterone and it is stressful for me to hold back the urge to climax in order to please God. This problem has been on my mind since I stopped all sexual actions.
You see, my sexual problem is a bit different than most other Christians because I did not lust over women when masturbating and I barely used porn when climaxing. At this current time, I am not addicted to masturbation, which is a good.
So...here is my main question:
I am not sure if masturbating without lust/coveting (once in a while) is okay or if it is something that will pull me away from Jesus and lead me to hell. If it is okay, I promise that I will no longer use unholy techniques that are against God such as sex toys. I do know that God must come before everything in my life. If the answer is no, can you please help me with better ideas to keep my thoughts clean each day? To take that strong urge away from my mind? It is very bothersome to me and I want it to go away. It was very hard for me to sacrifice a sensation that I loved a lot.
If I do masturbate once again, I am worried that I will be addicted once again. Self-control is important and if I CAN climax as a single Christian in a holy matter, I will not get addicted as much as I was before.
It might be many years until I find the Christian woman for me and it is very hard for me unless I block out these sinful thoughts of masturbating!
So please help me out and pray for me.
Josh
Josh,
After reading this I think you know the answer and that you are just looking for a way to excuse the behavior you are wanting to move towards.
The way I look at it is that when you masturbate you are in the middle of a sexual act. The way I understand it is that God has created sex to be between a Husband and wife and not a man with himself. This is a selfish act and in my opinion shows a lack of self control.
This does not make you a bad person but, does show that there are areas in your life that you need to work on with control.
Does this verse indicate that sexual sin is a bit more "risky" and a little more sensitive than other sins like stealing? I guess since we are "sexual beings," it's like a big one.
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18
Sin is sin no matter how you look at it. God views sin straight across the board and not with some kind of organizational chart type format. I think what is being said here is that the thing with sexual sin is that you are committing this against your own person. It is described that your body is a temple of God and for that the way you treat your own body is a way that reflects your feelings toward Him at that moment when you act out.
Also remember that sex is a great gift that God has given to all married couples (male & Female) that He wants us to use. It is just when we use it for selfish reasons it takes us down so many wrong paths.
If you and your wife make videos together is it still considered porn or is that wrong too?
Michael,
Depends on what you are doing with these video's. If you are using these videos to post on a website or send to others than yes; it is porn. If you are using this for personal use (masterbation) that yes; it is porn. If you are using this together and not for selfish or public purpose I do not see this as being porn. as long as it is agreed apoun by noth you and your wife.
I was on my friend's computer the other day and I stumbled upon a folder containing a large amount of hardcore pornography. He is a Christian brother, and I feel like I should confront him about his sin (Matthew 18:15-22), however, I feel like I don't have a close enough relationship with him to talk about issues that deep. Is it my job to rebuke, or should I ask someone who is closer to him to talk one on one?
Levi,
I would suggest that you do have this conversation with him. Just spark up the conversation about how you found his folder and that it bothered you and as a brother in Christ you are just looking out for him.
If he is receptive to this you will need to be prepared to either provide accountability or have someone in mind who might be able to.
Brining this out in to the open is good but, you have to be ready to move past this initial conversation and into healing and accountability.
hi, its been a while since ive logged in to my profile and i was wanting to update it and add a profile picture but i cant seem to find how to do that. any tips?
You should be able to do this by editing your profile.
Can I get information on booking a speaker for an event or having an event.
Thanks,
Tom
Please visit this page. It will have eveything you will need. Thank you
My husband and I have been married for 2 years. We have an amazing relationship! Our love life is great as well. We have a 1 year old daughter who is our world. My husband is a marine and was deployed for our daughters birth and has struggled with a relationship with her since. Our relationship after deployment was difficult but we have moved past that. It has been 10 months since he came home and just recently we switched mobile phones to phone with internet. After having the phones for 4 months I caught my husband with porn on his phone! I asked him about it and he lied and said he hadn't been watching it. We talked about this and I informed him that I felt that porn was as bad as cheating. He promised he would never do it again. I found it a second time and that is when I tried to sit him down and find out why. He said it started back up during deployment. He said it wouldn't happen again. That is when I started to dig a little deeper. I found it on our lap top as well. I'm lost for ideas. If I bring it up he gets mad. If I leave it be I tear myself up. What can I do or say to him? How can I help him?
Bailey,
I am sorry to hear that you and your husband are going through this. We have seen this a lot with soldiers who go away for deployment. Many of them have used porn as a way to relieve their sexual tension while away from their loved ones.
It sounds like you have spoken with your husband already about this and that it did not go to well the last time. I know that you may not want to hear this but, you need to sit down with him again and talk about this. Now I do not know the surrounding conditions with your last conversation but, I am going to assume it got heated and their may have been some yelling involved.
Here is what I would suggest for you to try:
Plan a time where you know the two of you will have some time together and there is nothing else on the schedule. Find someone to watch your kids for you so they are not around during this conversation. The children do not need to be a part of this as well.
Sit down with your husband and just tell him that you want to talk about this and that it needs to be a talk about what is going on and not an argument. Be honest with him and tell him how this makes you feel and why. Also be open and listen to him and find out why he does it. Also find out how you can help him to stop looking at porn and offer up suggestions like filters and finding an accountability partner with accountability software to help him out.
I would then also suggest that it may be wise to seek counsel from someone on your church staff as well. They should be able to point you in the right direction if you need to seek marriage counseling or others who know where you are at and can walk with you during this time.
One other area to seek help would be from the military. I know for a fact that many of our soldirs deal with this and they have sought the help of the counsolers on base for this.
Please know that you are not alone in this battle and that we are praying for you, your husband, and your marriage.
Sin is sin, but isn't bisexuality worse than homosexuality because bisexuals have a more wider range to use people as sexual objects and victimize them?
Also, were bisexuals molested at one time in their lives?
Thank you for answering my question.
James,
You are right sin is sin. There is not a list of which sin is worse than the other; they are all sin. There is not a level of measurement to sin.
How do i get the internet accountability program?
Got to www.x3watch.com
Can a person who is having porn addiction problem continue to serve God in church? Or should he just stop servicing cos God dislike sin?
Jason,
I would suggest that there may need to be some time to take a step back and make sure you get yourself right first. You should take the time to get this problem under control and squared away before continuing in your role at church.
