Shame can be debilitating. It can stop you right where you are and prevent you from growing into the person you were always meant to be. More so, shame can stop you from facing up to the things in your life that are causing it.
One of the biggest things shame stops us from doing is opening up and being honest with other people about our lives–about our sins, our doubts, our fears, our stresses–so we continue to let those things shape us and mold us even when they don’t have to.
We become frightened and worried that those things we work so hard to hide are true only about us.
“I’m the only person in my church who ever looks at porn.”
“Nobody knows that when everyone else goes to sleep I’m not really staying up late to meet that deadline for work.”
“If I am found out I will lose the respect and trust of those close to me.”
When it comes down to it, though, the only way we can get past thoughts like these is by having people we can trust and will encourage us along the way.
One great answer is to join an X3group. A year and a half ago I had no idea that when I started leading a group of guys every week through honest conversations, I would be still meeting with those guys all this time later.
An X3group is a place where men can meet up once a week over a video conference call and have a chance to just open up about their struggles without judgment or fear of being rejected. Based on the principle that we all need to experience unconditional love and that the best way to experience that is through having people accept us for who we are, exactly as we are, and not because of some perfect picture others try to place on us.
The most important thing we all need to remember is that we’re not the only one. If you are reading this post and you think no one else is, then you are wrong. Neary one million people visit this site every month which means one thing: millions of people–husbands, wives, students, pastors, grandparents–struggle with porn in one way or another.
You are not the only one. There are others, and they’re probably not the people you expect. You don’t have to deal with your porn addiction alone. There is help out there in the form of amazing and committed (to you) leaders (many of whom have overcome a porn addiction themselves) who are ready and willing to help you.
Building a community and family over time with other guys who know exactly what it’s like. To come back week after week knowing that there will be a community who will celebrate your successes and pick you up after your failures. All the time loving you and accepting you,
Just. As. You. Are.
It’s one of the greatest feelings meeting every week with friends who are in the same boat. Guys who know your story even before you say anything because they’ve been there. Guys who have built up months of sobriety already and can encourage you that it’s possible to succeed.
Because sometimes the greatest thing you can ever hear? Is, “Me, too.”
[Signup for any X3group this month and get 50% off your first month. Use discount code PORNFREE2014 at checkout. Get started today!]