I was middle a linebacker in high school. My job was not only to blow up running backs and quarterbacks, but also to know exactly where the play was going seconds after the ball was snapped.
And I was pretty good at good at it. The idea was to read the center–the player who snaps the ball–and the two linemen on both sides of him. If they went one way, I went the same way with the mindset of knocking over whomever decided to get in my way.
However, offensive players would often try to confuse me by taking one of the players on either side of the center and sending him–we called it “pulling”–the opposite way of the other two, which would be the way the ball was actually going.
When I was an underclassman, I sometimes found myself looking like a fool when I’d see the two players go one way and I’d follow, only for the third guy to go the other way with the ball carrier right behind him. My coach would continually harp on me for having “tunnel vision.” I’d key in on the center, but wouldn’t focus on the players and action around him.
And just recently, I’ve discovered that we can have the same battle with tunnel vision in our path away from porn and toward being open, honest, and accountable.
For me, I became really good at being open with my struggle with pornography. I talked about it at youth group. I shared blogs, videos, and links with friends online. I even spoke about it at church in front of several congregations.
But what I’ve found is that I was experiencing “tunnel vision” with my openness. I was giving everyone just a minimal glimpse into my sin, while keeping the bigger struggle—-the one that cut deepest into my heart–in the shadows. I thought I could be healed through confession–like it says in James 5:16–without sharing EVERYTHING. I mean, I could fix the deep stuff myself if people at least knew PART of the problem, right?
Wrong.
In fact, it put me in an even worse position, because now I was a hypocrite and my conscience felt the blow. People commended me for my honesty, and I’m sure they thought I was making strides towards sobriety, but behind closed doors I was dabbling in death… again.
The truth is, you can’t find healing if you’re giving people a “tunnel vision” approach to your struggle because you’re not really being that honest. It sounds tough because it IS is tough. It’s not easy to pull back the big picture to show to a few, but it’s better than missing out on what Jesus wants for you because you’re going the wrong way–and honestly, looking like a fool–because of your tunnel vision.
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