When I went with XXX Church a few weeks ago to the porn outreach I met a pastor from the area named Jeff who stopped by and helped us pass out bibles. After working together for a few hours Jeff asked me if I had any tips on keeping kids away from porn. I shared with him some of the things I have put in place with my family and this week I would like to share them with you. We as men think that we are a fortress and can protect our family from any and everything. Hate to bust your bubble bubba but we aren't! As macho as we want to be our family is a target and there are times when we can stop the bullet. What we can do is prepare our families for life and how to care for the wounds the bullet has caused.
Porn and sex are big issues within the family. They are topics that we don't want to think about our children doing much less talk about it with them. We like to think our kids are innocent when it comes to the subject. If you were to get your kids right now and ask them questions about porn or sex you would shocked at what they already know. Most kids (I say kids because stats show that the average age of someones first pornographic exposure is 10 years old) have already been exposed to porn. Someone is going to talk to your kids about porn. It could be their friends, the porn industry, the Internet, who knows. Best bet is you taking the time to talk to your kids about the issue. You don't have to go into great detail or get explicit. With me working with a porn ministry with slogans like "Jesus Loves Porn Stars" the question was bound to come up. We have a 6 year old boy and a 9 year old girl. One day they asked "Daddy, what is a porn?" I sat them down and told them that there are books and movies where people look at other people naked. I kept it simple. My little girl said " that's nasty daddy!' and went about her business. That is all she wanted to know. We have told her if she has questions about anything ask us.We have been fortunate that she opens up to us.She has asked questions about a boy in her Sunday school class who was talking looking at girls butts on the Internet to where do babies come from. Always remember the biblical definition of sex and share that with them. Too many times we talk about sex in a negative way and that puts a bad light on a beautiful experience that God created for us to share with our partner in marriage. Putting God first in everything we do is the most important.
I hope some of what I had to say helped. I want to leave you with some tips on how to prevent so much junk getting into your kids head. We can't stop everything but we can stop most things.
Keep a check on cell phone text and picture messaging.
Keep computer in the open (only monitored chat rooms, reputable sites, and message boards should be allowed)
Discourage instant messaging
Share e-mail accounts and make a list of Internet house rules (post rules by the computer so no one "forgets a rule"
Communicate (encourage kids to come to you before giving out information and talk with them about sexuality and pornography)
Communicate responsible behavior.(online and offline)
Use protective software to filter the Websites your teenager may visit.
Get a program like X3 watch www.x3watch.com for FREE to help monitor any questionable websites
Also if you have WiFi check the Wii, PSP, I Pod touch and other systems that can pick up a WiFi connection.
SIDE NOTE: I had a friend last year get a Wii from a pawn shop for his kids. A few days later his wife came in the room and their kids were looking at porn that someone had downloaded to the system. They did not have WiFi connections. Be careful on where you purchase items.
One last thing here is a short list of common used chat room and text message lingo
OS - Parent Over Shoulder
PIR - Parent In Room
P911 - Parent Alert
PAW - Parents Are Watching
PAL - Parents Are Listening
ASL - Age/Sex/Location
MorF - Male or Female
SorG - Straight or Gay
LMIRL - Let's Meet In Real Life
KPC - Keeping Parents Clueless
TDTM - Talk Dirty To Me
IWSN - I Want Sex Now
NIFOC - Nude In Front Of Computer
GYPO - Get Your Pants Off
ADR - Address
WYCM - Will You Call Me?
KFY - Kiss For You
MOOS - Member(s) Of the Opposite Sex
MOSS or MOTSS - Member(s) Of The Same Sex
NALOPKT - Not A Lot Of People Know That
2NITE - Tonight
AEAP - As Early As Possible
ALAP - As Late As Possible
AWGTHTGTTA - Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Again
B4YKI - Before You Know It
BOHICA - Bend Over Here It Comes Again
BRB - Be Right Back
BRT - Be Right There
CWYL - Chat With You Later
C-P - Sleepy
CYT or SYT - See You Tomorrow
E123 - Easy as 1, 2, 3
EM? - Excuse Me?
EOD - End Of Day
F2F - Face To Face
FOAF - Friend Of A Friend
HAK - Hugs And Kisses
ILU or ILY - I Love You
IMNSHO - In My Not So Humble Opinion
J/C - Just Checking
KOTL - Kiss On The Lips
LD - Long Distance
NAZ - Name, Address, Zip
OLL - Online Love
QT - Cutie
RN - Right Now
RUMORF - Are You Male Or Female
SITD - Still In The Dark
SO - Significant Other
TOM - Tomorrow
WTH - What the Heck
WUF - Where Are You From?
WYRN - What's Your Real Name?
If you love your kids don't be scared to approach the subjects of sex and porn. It will pay off in the long run. Until next week..
Steve-Oh
Love Jesus/Love People
