Sex wasn’t something we talked much about at my house growing up. My dad did give me the traditional “birds-and-the-bees” talk, and I was taught that God wanted me to save sex for marriage. Fortunately, the teaching took, and I made it to marriage as a virgin, but it wasn’t always easy.
So what do I wish my parents told me about sex?
Maybe how awesome sex is and how great it is to share that kind of intimacy with someone you’ve promised to spend the rest of your life with. Of course parents don’t usually sit around the dinner table and say to their kids, “Sex is so awesome!” or “Your mom is one hot lover!” That would be really awkward and would probably cause some sort of psychological damage, but my wife and I are not shy about kissing if front of our kids, but that alone causes groans and comments like “Could you stop that!?”. So how do you share with your kids how wonderful the gift of sex is?
One way is by showing your love for each other in front of your kids. That says a lot. Holding hands with your spouse, kissing (I’m not talking major make out session), hugging and saying “I Love You” models a lot to your kids about your love life. Sure you’ll hear the occasional groan or sense their embarrassment when you plant a kiss on your spouses’ lips; but they’re seeing the intimacy you share with each other and no one else. Just like sex is something you share with just your spouse and no one else.
You can take this one step farther as your kids get older by having frank discussions with them on the topic. Not birds and bees stuff but really being open with them about sex and letting them know they can ask any questions they have. But you can’t wait around and hope they ask you something. Typically you have to bring up the topic. Lets face it they have questions and they’re going to find the answers somewhere - their friends, the Internet – both not good places to get the right answers. So approach your kids on the sometimes uncomfortable topic of sex with openness and frankness. The more you talk about it the less awkward it gets. Then maybe someday you can come to the dinner table and say “Sex is awesome!”.