I am messed up. I've been an on and off porn addict for 10 years. I was a virgin the day I got married 3 years ago. I've studied and worked toward leading people to God since I can remember. 2 months ago I started toying with hook up apps on my phone. The exact same time I was finishing ye interview and process for me to take my first teaching pastor position full time. Two weeks ago I had sex with a 20 year old girl and now im draggibg her into my filth. The second woman I've ever been with. I am no longer chaste to my wife. I don't know who I am. I have hope for me somehow. But I know I've already lost everything I've built up. And nobody even knows it.