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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Online Resources, Support, and Community for Those Struggling
with Porn and Sexual Integrity
We’re so sorry. This can’t be a good feeling. Unfortunately, though, we hear this a lot. Pornography is insidious in the way it works, and often the person using it keeps it secret because they’re embarrassed and ashamed about something they feel they can’t control.
We can’t really tell you what to do, because we don’t know the specifics of your situation – who you suspect might be using porn, your relationship with them, your history with them, and any other of the thousands of circumstances and choices that make a person.
we can tell you what we believe. We believe in honesty and openness. We believe in communication. We believe in grace and forgiveness. Here are some practical suggestions on next steps:
Research. Do your research on this thing called porn. The stats, the resources that are available to help the addict, etc. We provide all of these things here at XXXchurch. Have as much knowledge and information gathered for the next steps. Also read through the sections that are written for those who are struggling.
Soul Searching. If this is a romantic relationship; do some soul-searching and decide if this is something you can handle. The journey for the addict is not easy and it can take a toll on the people connected to them. Remember that although this affects you, it is not about you.
Communicate. Have a face-to-face conversation with this person. This is where all the information you have gathered in step 1 is crucial. You are now equipped to have this conversation with your eyes open. If this person acknowledges that they need AND want help then you have information you need.
Accountability. If you decide to stay in this relationship, invite others in. This one is usually tough for the person who is struggling with addiction. They are filled with shame and or embarrassment and the thought of inviting someone else to walk alongside of your relationship is hard. But it is worthwhile. Find a solid couple or someone who has a good walk with God and ask them to hold you both accountable in your relationship and with the next steps.
Stay Pure. IF you are not married to this person but are sexually involved with them, stop. This is only fueling sex addiction and honestly, it means you are in sexual sin also if you are not married. You both need to be fostering purity of heart, mind and body. God honors this.
Need more encouragement? Have a specific question? Visit the questions area of the site and read through the questions and responses. There is a place for you to submit your own question if you don’t see it already covered.
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