It is easy to say you’re going to stop watching porn; but it’s much harder to actually do it. So, with that in mind, here are 8 tips for setting goals and sticking to them, specifically for goals to pursue purity and freedom from sexual sin.
1) Rely on the God’s power, not willpower. I often think I’m a superwoman who can conquer everything on my own. This gets me nowhere, and shows me that I don’t understand the power of the Holy Spirit (see Romans 8:11). When I try to stop watching porn on my own, I fail to use the most powerful weapon at my disposal to achieve my goals: the Holy Spirit.
2) Don’t give up. Jesus doesn’t give up on us, so why do we give up on ourselves? We do this when we give up on his power and don’t believe it can change us. It is very easy to want to give up when you aren’t seeing results or keep messing up, so focus on why you made these goals in the first place. and just keep going.
3) Pray. This is another weapon I have failed to use. I don’t understand how powerful prayer could be in breaking addictive habits. I try to pray every time I feel tempted. This takes the attention off of myself and my own desires and puts the focus back on God.
4) Focus on the present day. Rather than thinking in terms of victory, think of achieving goals as a process of growth and change. Focus on today. (Read Matthew 6:34 and Isaiah 43:18-19.)
5) Stay centered on Christ. Remember that, apart from Jesus, we can do nothing. Make sure Jesus is at the center of your goals.
6) Don’t allow excuses. I’m great at coming up with excuses and figuring out ways I can rationalize cheating. Like when my friends are watching say, a raunchy comedy, I rationalize that I can too, even though I know it will probably tempt me to want to watch porn. These rationalizations are lies though! Don’t give in to them!
7) Find what tempts you and remove it. I’ve discovered the times or situations when I’m most likely to cheat. For me, the later it is at night, the easier it is to cheat – because I get sleepy and care less about my goals. So I make sure I go to bed at a reasonable hour, and I’ve found temptation decreasing overall. What tempts you? Find out and get it out.
8) Embrace your weaknesses. This is a hard one, I know. Who wants to embrace their insecurities and hardships? But think about it: if you had no weaknesses, then you would never have goals. You would have no need to improve, and then there would be no opportunities for God to show his power through your life. We have to learn to embrace our weakness and brokenness so that God’s power might rest on us. (Read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
Removing porn and other sexual sin from your life is tough, but it’s worth it. Put these 8 things into your life and see what happens – you may surprise yourself!