I dive right in. Every night I pray for forgiveness and ask to be given strength to maybe make it through the day without caving in to this struggle.

And almost everyday I slip and fall.

I feel like I fail God every time, yet I'm always pulled back into it.

A few song lyrics:

Do as you please, shame will follow [The Devil Wears Prada - Danger: Wildman]

Shame always follows this. Shame sets in before I even turn the computer on.

Go ahead, partake in it, justify it. It will eat you alive. [August Burns Red - The Truth of a Liar]

I justify it every time. "Just one more time" I tell myself. And it has eaten me alive. I just want to escape from this.

But everyday I fall back into it.