Teens - Questions
If masterbating is truly wrong and sinful, then why do we have a natural fascination with our "parts" and a natural urge to masturbate. Other species do it as well, why do we have to fight it? It just doesn't make sense.
We have had literally thousands of emails about this particular issue. We have heard all the scenarios. "Well if I think about fruit while I'm masturbating, then that is not a sin." Well isn't that clever. Or..."If I'm giving glory to the Lord while I'm doing it, then that can't be wrong." Hmmm. Why don't we just make that part of our Sunday morningspan> services then? We have heard all the Pro-masturbation Christian arguments and we wonder if these people are dealing in reality. It's all very intellectual and quite scholarly, but we still don't get it. Sorry.
Our stance is simply this: you want to live a life that is honoring to God then start pleasing him and stop pleasing yourself. Stop making excuses and get some control over your life. Yes, it is tough. Yes, we know hormones are raging. However, God is calling us to holiness. Live an extraordinary life. Masturbation will leave you hanging every time! It is a selfish act that pleases no one but YOU. God created sex to be between a man and his wife. Not a man and his girlfriend and not a man or woman with himself or herself.
Hi Ever since the beginning of seventh grade I've been addicted to looking at porn and masturbation. I'm now in 10th grade and it is really destroying my life. The first time I did it I thought it was harmless but after a year I was was stuck in this sin and I tried to stop everyday but I just kept coming back to it. I tried a lot to stop like reading my bible and praying but I was to ashamed of myself and couldn't tell anyone about my problem. The last couple of monthes It has been getting worse to the point of doing it almost everyday and to the point where I don't even care about anything except pleasuring myself. It is affecting me in all parts of my life and even my parents said today that I look unhappy and have been angry a lot lately but I've still never told anyone. I have lost interest in doing what's right and praying and stuff like that and it is killing me inside every time I do it. I have been thinking about telling my youth leader about it but I have never had the balls to do it. I just hope it doesn't come to me going to strip clubs and prostitutes and becoming that bad and deep of a sin for me. Please respond with advice on what I should do and pray for me!! Thanks
Confess this to God and tell Him that you want to change and that you want for Him to send people in your life who will help you win this fight. He will hear your pray and He is a powerful God but, He will not just come down here and stop it for you. He will provide you the tools and the resources but, He wants you to step and do this thing.
After you have talked to God about this find someone right away that you know who can be your accountability partner. Someone who you see often and will have the ability to hold you accountable at all costs. Being your age I would suggest it be someone who is your elder and will be able to provide good mature counsel on this issue. This can be someone from your church, family member, and maybe even your parents. I know this step is tough but, you have to do this if you want to get free from this. You will not be able to do this on your own.
After you have an accountability partner you need to sit down with them and build a plan figure out what your triggers are and how they affect you. Get accountability software. If the internet or mobile devices are you hang up and this is where you turn to get your porn, get accountability and filter software right away and get this covered. We have a great program called X3 Watch that you could use for this. Set up a meeting schedule to meet with your accountability partner to discuss how things are going and if you are following your sobriety plan that you have developed with them.
Do not think this will go away over night; you have trained your brain to need this crap and you will need to train your brain that it is not needed and that it will hurt you. Celebrate small victories and do not give up if there are stumbles, keep going and dig in for the fight. Please know that you are not alone in this and that God loves you so much. He will never remove His love for you because of what you did, are doing, or might do during your recovery. We are here praying for you and know that you can do this.
A lot of the time, I hear/read about limiting exposure to porn, but while I can avoid bad images, there is still my mind. I know Jesus says to be transformed by the renewing of your mind, but I have a plethora of women, bodies, and poses stuck in my head. They comes back and assault me, tempting me. I know this is the consequence of letting the images in, but will it ever get easier? Will they only come once a year? I have been lusting since I was 12 and I am now 19--whenever I get married, will I have combined lust with sex so that my mind will be assaulted when I see my bride on our wedding night?
Sean,
We have trained our brain over time to and have fooled it by making it think we need this crap in our life to satisfy our selves. Now this process needs to take place but, in a diffrent way. Once you have removed this from your life it will take time for this to go away. Your brain thinks is still needs these images and will pop up things that it remembers trying to spark that feeling and a way to get what it THINKs it needs. Keep strong and stay on the healing path and it will slow down and go away in time.
I've been saved for 6 years. Since I was 13i started to have problems with porn. My Dad caught me or I told him about my problem 3 times. However, lately my problems are getting bad. How do I tell my dad. I have X3 Watch but it's so easy to get around it. I hate porn and feel it is stopping me from seeing Gods plan for my life. I don't want to loose my relationship with Christ or muddy it down on account of some cheap way of gratifying myself. It sucks. I try to resist the devil but I always fall back. Shame is also a big thing. I feel ashamed to talk to my dad about this. How do I tell my Dad?
John,
I can give you about a 99% guarantee that your dad understand your struggle. Ask him to sit down with you and talk trough it. But this time once you have talked about it set up a battle plan to bring about real change in your life. To often we tell someone but, then that is all we do and we never set up a plan to keep it out of our life.
Talk through your struggles when you feel the urge to act out and pin point your weakness and where it starts. Build up your plan around that.
As for the shame this is a tool that Satan uses to destroy us and break us down when he knows that we are close to breaking free from his grasp. Trust in the Lord and forgive yourself.
Know that you are not alone in this and that God wants you back so much. We will be praying for you.
Hi, I need answer to this question real fast, I haven't watched porn properly in ages but I went on a porn site the other day and i didn't click on any videos but, I wanted to watch those videos so badly but I knew it was wrong since I am a christian. So anyway the question is Porn a sin? I have never actually been addicted to porn,I just occasionally watched. When I went on site as I said before I didn't watch but after I felt so guilty, and there is this girl I like at my school, I have been out with her a couple of times(long lasting relationship) and I asked her out about two weeks ago, and when I went on this web site I thought how am I going to go out with this girl or find the right person? I am trying not to watch porn and I just hope god can help me. But please can someone answer Is Porn a sin and, How can I find the right person, I know it might seem weird since I am only thirteen but Help me to find the one?
Is porn a sin? YES. porn is a sin for the reason that you are lusting after another who is not your wife. Lust is the sin in this topic.
I will promise you that if you start to watch this stuff that it will affect your relationship and in a very negative way.
Where can I find a block for my android or something to help me out with that...that I can't remove. I want to be set up for victory, and how do I get rid of shame? How do I find real forgiveness through christ? I am saved and am pretty strong in my faith...this is the only thing holding me back.
Jesse,
Right now I am not aware of a blocker for the Android system. You can use X3 Watch Pro for an accountability software that will let your accountability partners know if you go to a site containing adult content.
If you want to remove the shame you need to understand the real meaning of unconditional love. You need to understand that God has allowed through His son the grace and forgiveness that allows us eternal life.
You need to give it all up to Him and allow for Him to walk with you and just let it go. You need to forgive yourself and bring Him into the fight with you. You are not alone in this and I will be praying for you.
I'm really just looking to quit porn all together. I am interested in knowing if you may have any advice that can help me leave it behind as well as find my way back to god's presence. Coming from a background of having one actual girlfriend from age 7-19 along with having facial disfigurements such as scars and the ridicule I have recievd from others such as being titled as a serial killer, rapist, and etc. in the past I've had quite a bit of trouble and difficulty with breaking my addiction to pornography. I'm really looking towards having a real long lasting relationship with a girl that I hopefully I can call my girlfriend but first I believe that I must bury my addiction and I am seeking a way out.
From here you need to talk to someone about this and get accountability with your struggles. Sit down and develop a plan to cut this sin right at the knees. Place accountability software on your computer, mobile phone, and/or your mobile devices. We suggest X3 Watch for accountability software which you can download for free at www.x3watch.com. You should also place a filter on your computer as well. We suggest www.safeeyes.com. This would be like having an alarm on your house and then locking the door with both of these on your computer. When you do get a filter you should have your accountability partner set the password so that you can not just change it when you want to look at porn.
You have to remove this from your life completely. Get rid of any movies, pictures, files, or any item with adult content. Destroy it and be done with it but, when you destroy it do it in a way that will not allow for this to get into someone else’s hands. If the filters and accountability software will not work then you may have to take drastic measures and remove your computer, get an older phone without Internet, or remove the Internet from your computer. It all
comes down to completely removing it and the temptation from your life.
All too often we work on our habits of viewing porn instead of the reasons why we view porn. You need to get down to the root issues of why you go back to it and keep doing so. This may take some time and effort to discover this. But through talking with people about this or your accountability partner you will begin to see areas of your life, your past, and items that trigger your porn use. I strongly recommend counseling for this as they can really get there a lot faster than we can by providing great tools to deal with the items that arise.
Everyone is different but, a few things that I have found that worked in my recovery and from other I want to share with you.
Dive into the word daily. Spend time with God and find out what you have been missing and He will show you things you may not have before.
Track your day and see when you’re most prone to look at porn. From here developed a daily plan to counter attack these temptations based on your observation of your own patterns.
Discover your triggers. When you look back and think of when you were most venerable, what was going on at the time? Were you stressed out, tires, bored, angry, or lonely? These are some of the key triggers for people and you need to locate them and be aware of it. When you notice your trigger topic happening you then need to react and move away from it. It may take sometime to notice and be aware of it but, this is very important.
Share with others: this can also be tough to do but, it will help you grow and heal faster. Also we know how lonely this feels to be trapped like this to porn. We also know that when others see that there is someone else who has been through it or going through it they are more willing to seek help or talk about it. You never know this could be a start to a small group of people who meet and hold each other accountable.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can work through this. Yes; it will not be easy but it can be done. We are here for you and praying for you.
I have been struggleing with porn all my life and im scared to tell anybody and i had made a promise to god dat i will not watch porn and masterbait but a week had came alone and i masterbaited will god forgive me? and will you guys please help me out?
We understand that this is a tough battle that you are going through right now and you need to get it under control with being such a young age. Admitting to the fact that you have and addiction to this is one of the first steps.
Confess this to God and tell Him that you want to change and that you want for Him to send people in your life who will help you win this fight. He will hear your pray and He is a powerful God but, He will not just come down here and stop it for you. He will provide you the tools and the resources but, He wants you to step and do this thing.
After you have talked to God about this find someone right away that you know who can be your accountability partner. Someone who you see often and will have the ability to hold you accountable at all costs. Being your age I would suggest it be someone who is your elder and will be able to provide good mature counsel on this issue. This can be someone from your church, family member, and maybe even your parents. I know this step is tough but, you have to do this if you want to get free from this. You will not be able to do this on your own.
After you have an accountability partner you need to sit down with them and build a plan figure out what your triggers are and how they affect you. Get accountability software. If the internet or mobile devices are you hang up and this is where you turn to get your porn, get accountability and filter software right away and get this covered. We have a great program called X3 Watch that you could use for this. Set up a meeting schedule to meet with your accountability partner to discuss how things are going and if you are following your sobriety plan that you have developed with them.
Do not think this will go away over night; you have trained your brain to need this crap and you will need to train your brain that it is not needed and that it will hurt you. Celebrate small victories and do not give up if there are stumbles, keep going and dig in for the fight. Please know that you are not alone in this and thaGod loves you so much. He will never remove His love for you because of what you did, are doing, or might do during your recovery. We are here praying for you and know that you can do this.
Hi, my name is Marquis but, I prefer Kese. I've been watching pornography for years. I can honestly say I enjoy masturbating. I know it's wrong and I constantly attempt to take strides toward getting better. Everytime I give in I feel empty. I have to repent and start all over. I need help is anyone out there willing to help me?
you need to talk to someone about this and get accountability with your struggles. Sit down and develop a plan to cut this sin right at the knees. Place accountability software on your computer, mobile phone, and/or your mobile devices. We suggest X3 Watch for accountability software which you can download for free at www.x3watch.com. You should also place a filter on your computer as well. We suggest www.safeeyes.com. This would be like having an alarm on your house and then locking the door with both of these on your computer. When you do get a filter you should have your accountability partner set the password so that you can not just change it when you want to look at porn.
You have to remove this from your life completely. Get rid of any movies, pictures, files, or any item with adult content. Destroy it and be done with it but, when you destroy it do it in a way that will not allow for this to get into someone else’s hands. If the filters and accountability software will not work then you may have to take drastic measures and remove your computer, get an older phone without Internet, or remove the Internet from your computer. It all
comes down to completely removing it and the temptation from your life.
All too often we work on our habits of viewing porn instead of the reasons why we view porn. You need to get down to the root issues of why you go back to it and keep doing so. This may take some time and effort to discover this. But through talking with people about this or your accountability partner you will begin to see areas of your life, your past, and items that trigger your porn use. I strongly recommend counseling for this as they can really get there a lot faster than we can by providing great tools to deal with the items that arise.
Everyone is different but, a few things that I have found that worked in my recovery and from other I want to share with you.
Dive into the word daily. Spend time with God and find out what you have been missing and He will show you things you may not have before.
Track your day and see when you’re most prone to look at porn. From here developed a daily plan to counter attack these temptations based on your observation of your own patterns.
Discover your triggers. When you look back and think of when you were most venerable, what was going on at the time? Were you stressed out, tires, bored, angry, or lonely? These are some of the key triggers for people and you need to locate them and be aware of it. When you notice your trigger topic happening you then need to react and move away from it. It may take sometime to notice and be aware of it but, this is very important.
Share with others: this can also be tough to do but, it will help you grow and heal faster. Also we know how lonely this feels to be trapped like this to porn. We also know that when others see that there is someone else who has been through it or going through it they are more willing to seek help or talk about it. You never know this could be a start to a small group of people who meet and hold each other accountable.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can work through this. Yes; it will not be easy but it can be done. We are here for you and praying for you.
I've been addicted to porn since I was ten. I've read Pure Eyes and have taken all the needed steps to overcome this. Including having multiple accountability partners and even telling my parents. I pray constantly to ask God to help me overcome it. I want to be free more than anything in the world, but still I continue to fall over and over again. What am I missing? I know God has big plans for my life, I'm going into the ministry when I'm older, and want to be able to help other people struggling with this as well. I can't do that if I continue in this sin. What do I need to do?
Daniel,
What has happen to your accountability partners? Where are they now? You need to make sure that you find ones that WILL hold you accountable.
Have you investigated what your day looks like? Have you dissected it to see when your moments of weakness might be? Also you need to look hard enough into yourself as well and try to find the root cause of why you turn to porn. Is there something in your past that drives you to this or your desire for it.
The big thing is that you have to want to do this and you have to hate this with all your might. If you even allow just a glimps of this to stay in your life it will always find a way back in.
