Teens - Questions
I have been struggling with a porn addiction for a while now and my walk with god has faltered. I am ready to change, and restore my walk with god. How do I approach my parents with this problem? I am so ashamed I just don't know how I would tell them. And how do I reconnect with the church? I have been disconnected for so long I just don't know how to begin my restoration with god.
Luke,
You are making the right choices here in your turn away from this and your desire to return back to God.
With your parents I would just sit down with them and tell them what has been going on and that you want to make things right and get clean. With them biuld an action plan and get yourself accountability. Set up guidelines and rules for your computer use in the house. You will also want to bring someone to help be your accountability partner with your parents. Someone who you see often and know will call you out if something goes backwards.
As for the church you just need to start by talking to God and restoring that relationship. Remeber there is nothing that you can do that will make God love you less. This is how the church should be thinking as well. Get active again, get in a small group, serve your church. You need to replace the old habits with new healthy ones.
Luke, know that you are not alone in this and that you can get this done. We will be praying for you as you take these steps.
First Question: I have been trying to quit pornography and masturbation for 4 years now. But I cannot escape the cycle of screwing up every 1 to 2 weeks. I will be doing fine for the first week, but by the end of the second week without porn, I'm so (for lack of a better word) horny that I can't think straight. I doesn't matter what roadblocks I've put up, or precautions I've taken, all I care about is the porn. Then, only after my failure can I see how stupid I was. After three weeks or longer does it get any easier? Or will it always be this hard? How can I break this cycle?
Second Question: I know that in order to have any victory over sexual temptation I need to have someone keep my accountable. I know that I cannot do this alone. But, every time I have tried to have an accountability partner in the past it has only lasted a month or two before we get too busy or just forget about meeting or talking. What are some tips to accountability partnership? How do I be consistent? How do I keep it from just being a one sided and dead-end confession?
First Question: You have to remember there is physiological issues with and addiction that screws up your head. You have consumed so much porn that your brain now thinks it needs this in its life. You have removed a chunk from your brain and you now need to replace it with something else. This could be a new hobby, church, or anything that is healthy. YOu need to re-train your brain.
Second Question: One of the hard things about accountability is finding the right person to hold you accountable in this. One suggestion is try to find someone who is your elder. Someone who is more mature in life and is willing to walk with you. Talk to your church and I am sure they can find someone to do this for you. But , you are right that you need to get accountability.
Please do not give up and keep fighting the fight. God loves you so much and He wants you to dig in and beat this thing. We are praying for you.
Hey, guys. I ve been struggling with porn for a while now.And everyquestion ive seen with the same problem ,you always say that to download X3. I dont have a computer and i always go to a cyber cafe.Is there another way????
Ryan,
You need to tell someone about your struggles and get personal accountability for this. Talk to a youth pastor and bring them into this battle with you.
Set up a game plan for this and let your accountability partner be a force in that plan.
I know it will be hard to do and satan has placed a lot of guilt and shame in your heart but, you need to pull together the strength to move on through all of that.
Please know that you are not alone in this struggle and tha no matter what you have done God will always love you the same.
I have been free from porn for a while now. The feeling of freedom and god flowing through me is amazing. Now that I'm no longer addicted I find that I want tell people about Christ and go great he is. I have 2 friends that need rescuing from sexual impurity and need to find Christ. I tried tell them about Christ and sexual purity and they completely reject it. I really want to help them and I have been praying over it for a long time.So what do I do next?
No one likes something forced on them. Yes; still talk about Christ in your conversations and let them see how He has changed your life by living the life.
If you push and force your faith on them you may be moving them away from it as well. Be an example of what it is like to be a Christian and just be there for your friends. But, just be real with them.
the more and more i talk to people about the problem of masturbating and porn i deal with, the more i hear that its a natural thing that i will always have to deal with and god designed us to have this urge.. i refuse to believe this though. i feel i can have a free life in christ that is apart from this worldy view of sexual self pleasure. is this too much to ask? am i being realistic? i never seem to free myself from my habit which makes me wonder if its a reality or not.
God did provide this feeling to each of us. And this feeling is to be a gift for you and your wife some day.
This is something that you need to have self control on. I still have not found anyone who can masterbate with out having lustfull thoughts and we know that is a sin. Your thoughts and questions are all good a valid.
I'm struggling with my fiance's porn problem.
I know porn is very destructive. It exploits women, gives men unrealistic expectations of sex, lowers intimacy, and I just feel as if it's cheating to fantasize about another woman.
However my fiance doesn't see anything wrong with pornography, and he says it's natural. And he says he would have no problem if I watched porn.
Even his psychologist told him I was overreacting about his porn issue and said watching porn is okay.
What can I do to help him understand that porn is not natural?
He may think that it is OK and others can have that point of view as well. But, how is his relationship with Christ? Is he a believer? If he is he should see the issues with it. If not you need to let him know how it makes you feel and that it is not acceptable in your relationship.
There may need to be some tough choices here given your relationship right now.
I'am a worship leader at my church, and I'm addicted to porn, I really don't know how to stop. What should I do? I'm scared to tell my leaders at my church
Continuing to hide this from others will only make your situation much worse than what it is. You must tell someone abou your struggles and get accountability for your actions.
1. Confess to God - He already knows but, he wants to hear it from you and know that you are ready to face this sin head on
2. Tell Someone - You need to talk to people you know and get direct accountability for this. Get a filter on the computer and get accountability software to use with your partner(s)
3. Clean It Up - Get rid of what ever you have that allows you the temptation or adult materials that you have.
4. Get In The Word - God is not a drive thru faith. He wants you to sit down and join Him. He wants you to stay with Him and grow. Get in the word daily.
5. One Day At A Time - Takle this issue one day at a time. You will fail if you try to knock it all out with one mighty blow. Each day or each hour is a victory that you get when you do not give in.
ey please i need someone to take care of my situation im desperate about porn... i need that someone help me please....
Please email us at info@xxxchurch.com
i have struggled with masturbation for a while now and want to stop badly. i feel like its impossible. is there anyone out there that has successfully defeated a masturbation addiction? if so, how?
D,
There are many out there who have removed masturbation from their lives. One of the biggest things you can do is get accountability. Talk to someone whom you know, trust, and see on a regular basis.
Having someone who you can talk to when you are struggling is huge in this area. Allow for an open door when it comes to you and your accountability partner talking about your struggles. If you are not open and honest with them you will not get any where with this.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can do this. We are prayng for you.
I need help recovering I have soooo many issues with porn and mb please help me.
From here you need to talk to someone about this and get accountability with your struggles. Sit down and develop a plan to cut this sin right at the knees. Place accountability software on your computer, mobile phone, and/or your mobile devices. We suggest X3 Watch for accountability software which you can download for free at www.x3watch.com. You should also place a filter on your computer as well. We suggest www.safeeyes.com. This would be like having an alarm on your house and then locking the door with both of these on your computer. When you do get a filter you should have your accountability partner set the password so that you can not just change it when you want to look at porn.
You have to remove this from your life completely. Get rid of any movies, pictures, files, or any item with adult content. Destroy it and be done with it but, when you destroy it do it in a way that will not allow for this to get into someone else’s hands. If the filters and accountability software will not work then you may have to take drastic measures and remove your computer, get an older phone without Internet, or remove the Internet from your computer. It all
comes down to completely removing it and the temptation from your life.
All too often we work on our habits of viewing porn instead of the reasons why we view porn. You need to get down to the root issues of why you go back to it and keep doing so. This may take some time and effort to discover this. But through talking with people about this or your accountability partner you will begin to see areas of your life, your past, and items that trigger your porn use. I strongly recommend counseling for this as they can really get there a lot faster than we can by providing great tools to deal with the items that arise.
Everyone is different but, a few things that I have found that worked in my recovery and from other I want to share with you.
Dive into the word daily. Spend time with God and find out what you have been missing and He will show you things you may nit have before.
Track your day and see when you’re most prone to look at porn. From here developed a daily plan to counter attack these temptations based on your observation of your own patterns.
Discover your triggers. When you look back and think of when you were most venerable, what was going on at the time? Were you stressed out, tires, bored, angry, or lonely? These are some of the key triggers for people and you need to locate them and be aware of it. When you notice your trigger topic happening you then need to react and move away from it. It may take sometime to notice and be aware of it but, this is very important.
Share with others: this can also be tough to do but, it will help you grow and heal faster. Also we know how lonely this feels to be trapped like this to porn. We also know that when others see that there is someone else who has been through it or going through it they are more willing to seek help or talk about it. You never know this could be a start to a small group of people who meet and hold each other accountable.
Please know that you are not alone in this and that you can work through this. Yes; it will not be easy but it can be done. We are here for you and praying for you.
