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Sometimes porn is not about sex.
If it was just about that then why do so many of us go back to the same images and movies over and over? Why do we have our favourite pictures and clips that are the staple of our porn indulgence? Why is once never enough?
No porn is often about getting to the deep issues each of us have that lurk behind the images we see on our screens. To uncover what those are and to begin on a path of healing the pain and hurt they cause which ultimately will heal the pain and hurt countless hours spent viewing porn has caused.
So how do we do that? How do we begin to figure out those feelings we have about ourselves that have pushed us into the arms of porn?
Most of the time, the reason we end up going back and forth with porn is because we have found ourselves hating who we are at some point or another. There are many reasons why this may have happened, feeling unloved in our childhood, being made to feel that who we are is unlovable, having moments where we feel rejected and disgusting and thinking it’s because of who we are at our core. Or trying to change what people think of us because we have been fed the lie that we aren’t good enough.
At the end of the day most of the reasons as diverse as they may be come to the core issue of not feeling unconditional love. Of refusing to accept the people that tell you that you don’t have any purpose or are not capable of being loved. These are lies.
Which is why I’m not going to lie to you now, getting to the cause of that and starting to get help and even understanding this won’t happen over the course of one blog post. It will take time and it will take effort. Not something most of us like to hear. But the great news is that we have done a lot of the hard work for you.
With x3groups we have offered a safe place for people to come and be completely open about your struggles among other people who won’t judge you, who have heard it all before so won’t be shocked and will encourage you and show you that you are loved. You will find people who will know exactly the same hurts you have felt and can show you proof that they don’t have to control what you do.
With x3pure we have made it easy for you to understand better what sobriety means, how you get there and how you dig into all the ways you are hiding the pain from your life and expose it so you can become free and live the life you were created for. We address specifically things from our pasts that still haunt us.
It takes time and it will take other people.
The thing about addressing the pain in our lives is that it takes more than a 12 point plan to uncover and expose those things. It will take a deliberate work every day to be aware of situations or people in your lives that are making you feel inferior and worthless and then replacing them with people who accept you are, but want you to be better. None of us like pain so we usually suppress it and try to ignore it; most of us here having used porn to make us feel better at some point or another. When we face porn then it’s so important that we have others who will remind us of the journey we are on and remind us that the pain is not the end and not ultimately the truth.
Some of you will not even be aware that one of the biggest reasons you look at porn is because of pain in your life. You might have told yourself that it’s just what you do, it’s just who you are when in reality you have worked hard to shove down the emotions that you can’t bear. This may be frightening and be a bit much to take, but it’s also exciting and liberating. Exciting because you see a glimpse into what real healing is like. Liberating because it works out in every other part of our lives too.
That’s why it never works without others. They help you cope.
So sign up for an x3group today or download x3pure and start facing the hurt and pain that you are feeling and is causing you to look porn for healing. There are people who have felt the same and who are dealing with it with others.
Deal with your pain and you will have begun to deal with porn.