The Haps

10 lies men believe about pornHave you ever had thoughts such as, I’m the only one struggling with porn like this, God must be so ashamed of me, or I just have got to get stronger to overcome my addiction or anything like that? These thoughts are present in almost every case of pornography addiction I’ve seen. 

But do you see the problem? These thoughts are all lies! Worse yet, they keep you from discovering the truth that...

Are we free to screw up?My friend Steven wrote a post on Monday about slip up or relapse. My other friend Seth followed it up Wednesday with a different take on things.

Now, I guess it is my turn. I appreciate all that has been said and want you to know this has been a huge conversation around XXXchurch recently, especially when it comes to our X3groups. We have a diverse group of people working and writing here at...

Are You SurrenderingA few days ago, Steven Luff wrote a post about the difference between what he terms a “slip-up” and full-blown “relapse,” where he mainly focused on the idea that your sobriety date is a very important tool for you in your recovery. (You can check that out here) In this post, I would like to invite you to take a step back and think a little deeper about some of the words we use so much in this...

RelapseI lead a sexual addiction recovery group in Hollywood every Tuesday night called X3LA.

The men who attend have the option of filling out a “Meeting Response Sheet” with eight questions/prompts that help them better understand the nature of their addiction and, hopefully, their recovery from it.

The first question? “State your first name and how long you have been sober.” In this instance,...

CouplesWhen I checked out Paul’s post about couples watching porn together, I saw a lot of good points:

- Churches need to do better when it comes to addressing sex. (Tweet This!)

- Sex should not just be about engaging in an act purely for physical pleasure. Shoot, dogs in heat do that. We really should aim higher.

- Intimacy is about being spiritually and emotionally involved with someone as much...

watching pornWhen I began to write this blog about whether couples can watch porn together responsibly all I had was questions.

Questions like:

 - Does it make you compare yourself and/or your partner to the actors on screen? How does that affect your self-esteem? Theirs?

- Surely if a couple is watching together, at least there is openness and no secret porn viewing, right? Isn’t that good?

- Couldn’t it...

3 signsOK, I must admit that when I first was asked to write about going from "softcore" pornography to "harcore" pornography, my first thought was “Porn is porn.” But It really is amazing---and also pretty self-deceptive---to think that so long as what you’re watching is “softcore porn,” that it’s really not all that bad. In fact, take it from me: That is exactly what Satan wants you to think. 

I...

Online to OfflineMy addiction isn’t hurting anyone. It’s only pictures on a screen. It’s not like I’m cheating on my wife. There’s no way I could ever do that.

At least that’s what I told myself. 
Right up until I had my first affair.

I never would have considered myself capable of being unfaithful to my wife. I loved her, found her attractive, and honestly wanted to be a Godly husband. I simply couldn’t fathom...

marriageOne of the lies I often hear is that pornography can be a helpful tool to spice up your sex life—especially in a monogamous relationship like marriage. After all, if you’re getting tired of the same meal, shouldn’t you pick up a cookbook for some extra inspiration?

This logic breaks down though, when you realize the purpose of sex (unlike food) goes much deeper than to merely satisfy physical...

Great SexLast week I wrote a blog that was called 7 Keys To Great Sex (if you missed it go ahead and read that one first). I heard from a number of people and even talked about some of the reactions that the post got on my podcast “Craig’s Car Ride.”

One thing I noticed is: when you talk about sex, it gets a big reaction. (Tweet This!) Some good and some bad, and while I totally understand this is a...