After reading this confession this morning it brought back a lot of old memories.  Please know that if you are dealing with this that there is hope, there is a God who loves you no matter were you are, and that you are not alone in this.  You can upload your confession HERE or read others HERE. Here is one that hit me:

"Helplessness"

I've been struggling with porn for ten years now. I'm now 22, and I first saw porn and stuff before I was a Christian. I've never really gotten "better" in the sense of denying it constantly. I mean, my senior year of college my best achievement was not masturbating for a month. I no longer look at it daily, or weekly, or even monthly. But it still comes back. It always come back. I'm sick of who I am now, who I am that can never change. I know God says that He is our strength, and I know that His burden is easy. God says he will win the battle for us, but guys? I don't believe it anymore. I just can't. I screwed up, yet again, this July. I was in a relationship that eventually ended, primarily because of the sexual problems. We were going too far (not sex, but that doesn't even matter. we both agreed it was too far). This occurrence was like the anvil that utterly obliterated the poor camel's back.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of me, and I'm sick of this, but it never gets fixed. I screw up every few months or so. That hasn't changed for years. I just spent four months ruining a relationship that everyone around us knew had really cool potential. I'm sick of failing all the time, I'm sick of this hurting. I just want to ACTUALLY see God work here. But I haven't, I look back, and it's either me striving alone or with others. And if somebody says "Well, God works through other people" I would virtually punch them. I know He works through others, but I need to KNOW He's helping me. I've lost my hope on this stuff. Sure, I still trudge along to not do these things (and a wonderful case of depression has pretty much obliterated my libido) but it doesn't change the fact that I'm gonna screw up again. I'm sick of hurting others with this... I made my (then) girlfriend so depressed she was going to the doctors about stuff, and couldn't talk with her family (whom she is VERY close to) about it.

I want to actually see Him work in me with this. I'm sick of all the disappointment. Now I'm just trying to put up my walls. Lose all the vulnerability I've given. There's too much pain, and too much disappointment for this anymore. I feel like faith-wise I've hit the end of a pretty important rope, guys.

(Sorry to drop the downer, but I don't know where to go. I usually don't talk to anyone about all this, but I'm trying to go to new resources.)