For some people it is hard for them to believe that women struggle with this as well. The thing is it is starting to balance out in our world of men and women watching porn and even getting addicted to it. You can
upload your confession HERE or read others HERE. Here is one that hit me:
“How Did I Get Here”
Really, how did I get here? i feel so lonely, so disgusting, so frustrated and mad at myself….. I love God so much. I’ve been serving him for so long, and have so many incredible things going on in my life. I’m in ministries, I have great friendships, and I’ve survived some insanely difficult struggles. I used to have so many clear lines drawn in my life. And now? Some of them are gone. I’m addicted to porn. Seriously addicted. I feel so disgusting. Why do I keep typing in the website addresses? WHY? I go back, in the afternoon, at 4 in the morning…. All times of the day finding somewhere to be alone and just watching and succumbing to that whole world. It all started less than 2 years ago…. I was on a very popular sight, and I started talking to a guy. And loneliness set in. And it got dirty. And for the next month, I fought back and forth as I gave in, then pulled away. I stayed away for months, I was doing so good. In “real” life, I’ve never had a dirty relationship with anyone, I’ve never gotten physical with a guy. But in that other world? I turn into a completely different person. So I went back eventually. And then I went away again. And now I’m back to that world. And I hate it there. I hate how it makes me feel. I hate who I am there. I hate that I live 2 different lives. So much of my life is so lined up with the Word of God, and my heart truly does belong to Him. I adore Him. But there is a part of me, a part of my heart, that I’m keeping. I’m letting the loneliness set in, and instead of going to God, I’m turning to porn, to erotic romance novels. I can’t do it anymore.
How did I get here? God, show me a way out.