i was saved when i was 8... baptized a few years later.... My dad was a music minister till i was a 5th grader, so i was a pastor's kid.... i tried to live my life as a christian but how much of that do u truly understand as an elementary and middle school kid? my life was well, my family was great even perfect... well my sophomore year my world crashed to the ground... my grandpa passed away from cancer, i was extremely close to him so it hit me hard!!! i was devastated and to add to things i had no friends... then a week later my dad got rushed to the emergency room with congestive heart failure and he was in intensive care for a week and they told us he wouldn't live.... this pushed my deeper into my hole of loneliness and depression... i am the only girl in my family so i have always been extremely close to the guys in my life.... so the way i handled all this was i started looking at internet pornography... by the time i realized how bad it was and what it was doing to me, i was stuck... i didn't know what to do.... i couldn't tell anyone, was afraid of what they would think.... the devil used this fear for his advantage to trap and isolate me more... i lived like this in secret for two years, as it slowly ate at me and made me feel constantly dirty! then on June 5th 2009 i was at a summer camp and i decided i was done!!! i cried out to God and told him i needed his help, that only he could help me get out... That night i told my youth pastor... that night changed my life forever! this past June was the one year mark, one year since i have looked at anything on the internet... i still battle with stuff, since most of the sin is lust, which is a mind game... i have to shut my mind down all the time, especially since we live in such a sex-drenched culture... but i will continue to fight the battle!!! and God has called me to write a book about my struggle and talk openly about it because there are very little resources out there for women because its considered a guy's sin, which is a lie! I wont be silent about it anymore, cause if i am then the devil will continue to win!!!! he will continue to tell ppl they cant get out!!! so I give God all the glory and i will always speak about it!!!! I will NEVER be ashamed of what he has brought me out of!!!