I struggle with porn addiction (regular almost 1 year), am student. In my mind I even made an "agreement" with God and argued with Him that it is "body's need to have regular "sex". or explicit my needs". Sometimes I even stop feeling guilty. My reality turned into two phases: 1. good side when with people outside, and 2. no respect for myself when I am alone (really suffering from the understanding that every time I watch a porn - I kick the Holy Spirit further away from myself. I even found a reason "good enough" to explain why I have to watch porn: I need to learn theory before practice comes. (hmmm)
Thats probably where the problem is - I am not married, and for myself decided that there will be no sex before marriage, BUT ideas and thoughts DO come into my mind, I am clever enough to twist my mind and find round ways to self-satisfaction... sounds sooo weird - but still need to write it, cause its truth and may be it will help someone else.
Life is hard. And I am glad that at least I found a site where people talk openly about this problem. I knew I am not along, but its not a topic I would go to my friends. Its too embarrassing.

I really cannot pray any more, because my conscious says that why would I bother God if I know deep inside that I will fall again. And every time I really want to pray to God about my life and perspectives and expectations... - I can't ... I just gave up on myself. I fight for everything in my life but I stopped fighting for myself.

Where can I get any help now?????