I dont even know how or where to being. the spirit will guide me. i have been a christian for goin on 4 years now. i gave my viriginity to a man i thought i knew i was in love with and thought i would spend my life with, this was at age 20. I believe god made me a very tactile person so i enjoy skin to skin contact, cuddling and such. too many times satan gets a hold of my brain and tries to tell me that there is no hope for someone like me. I KNOW MY SOUL IS SOAKED IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS. but i also know the devil has a stronghold on a very secret place in my heart. because of the fact that i enjoy humanly contact and the fact that i am no longer a virgin, he uses men and intimacy to gain access to that secret place. I moved to salt lake right after my 21 birthday to go to college and "get out on my own." what ended up happenin, besides gettin a degree, was digging myself into a hole i NEVER thought i would get out of. I grew up on the east coast and my best friend, who is still in my life, her mother was what i would call a holy roller, but now that i think about it, the spirit reveales to me that i would like to be that type of GODLY woman. anyway after college i worked on tryin to get a job to give me money so i could move back east to be with the guy i was dating, who turns out was the 3rd guy i dated after my first love. but i got side tracked and unfortunately I became a whore. Yes i am now ashamed of it but it is the truth. after college, my goal was to, every weekend, go to any and every bar i saw, get totally trashed and let whoever wanted me, have me. my testimony is not strong or matter of fact, but i know its real cuz i know Jesus lives in me. i remember sitting in the drs office one day after having my routine check up and hearing the dr say i had an HPV. at the time i was FREAKING out cause all i had heard about this virus was that it caused cervical cancer i knew one day, god willing, i wanted to have kids. i have more to say i'm just very tired. need sleep so will finish later. god bless