XXXChurch: Spouses Blog
At times in my marriage, I felt like my husband wanted me to perform like a porn star. I felt pressured to act and be someone I was not. I believed if I could perform like a porn star then maybe he would want me more… maybe our sex life would finally have that missing link and finally feel complete. I knew something was missing, but what? I couldn’t quite figure out what it was we both...
A question I am frequently asked by wives who have just discovered their husband has been viewing pornography is, “Why am I not enough?” In fact, some wives will whisper that they were shocked because they were the higher desire partner, as if that is something to be ashamed about. For these wives, the discovery of porn in their marriage was a double slap in the face. “I was available and I...
Many years back, I was excited to attend a certain event with my husband. It was sure to be a fun evening with only adults. No matter how much I loved my children, I desperately needed to be in the company of people who didn't need assistance when they went to the bathroom.
I had just the right outfit picked out for the evening. I knew the color of my blouse would enhance my baby blues. My...
When I was twelve years old I was practicing to be Michael Jordan at a friend's house. Before we went outside to practice his famous "Five Fingers of Death" fade-away my friend gave me something. He said that if I was a man I would look at it- If I wouldn't I wasn't a man and I shouldn't look at it. I said "I am a Man" I took it. This was my first introduction to the world of pornography.
If...
When my husband first revealed his secret life of porn addiction and an emotional affair with another woman, my initial reaction was to hide. I didn’t want anyone to know. I felt as though there’s a certain stigma related to the wife of a sex addict...
“She must not satisfy him.”
“What’s wrong with her that he has to look at porn?”
“Maybe she’s just boring.”
(In fact, I’ve even had a random...
I’ve considered myself blessed many times because my husband was willing to seek for his addiction. That has been the saving grace of our relationship and his freedom from addiction.
However, not everyone is willing to seek help. It’s difficult for some people, especially some men to admit to a counselor or accountability partner that they can’t handle their problem on their own. Since I...
Hope.
An expectation of obtainment. To expect with confidence.
I hope that I get that promotion.
I hope that my children don’t get hurt.
I hope that I find an amazing man to marry.
Everybody hopes in something. For something. If they say they don’t, they’re lyin’.
Just sayin’.
I hoped that one day I’d find my knight in shining armor. I didn’t know when he’d arrive on my doorstep so while I...
Pornography and/or sex addiction is not something most people are willing to talk about. It’s a topic most people keep quiet about. This is one of the main reasons Craig Gross titled his book, “The Dirty Little Secret.” Most struggle in silence and don’t know where to go for help. Being willing to seek help is the first step to being free of the chains that bind you. When looking for help...
I have to admit, I struggle with anger often……I can feel it rise up in me sometimes and it can be scary and funny. It makes me want to have a Jerry McGuire moment and freak out on everyone around me and make a scene. The source is usually my kids acting up, but it makes me feel like a ticking time bomb. I’ve done quick studies in the bible about anger and verses like Ephesians 4:26 “In Your...
How would you respond if your husband refused to repent or seek help for his addiction?
“I would end my marriage and find Christian therapy on my own and try to heal.”
“At this point in our journey, I would take that to mean he wanted his addiction more than his family. I would probably separate from him for a time.”
“… I would need to protect myself and my kids. I would have to leave for a...
