XXXChurch: Spouses Blog

[Editor’s note: today’s post is adapted from the book Open: What Happens When You Get Honest, Get Real, and Get Accountable by Craig Gross with Adam Palmer]

I once spoke at a marriage conference…where I heard an interesting fact about the relationship between happiness in a marriage and the amount of times the husband and wife in that couple were engaging in sexual activity. In other words,...

sex with my husbandI recently wrote a blog called “8 Reasons My Wife Won’t Have Sex With Me.” I got a lot of great feedback from it and it was viewed over 300,000 times on the first day alone. But one question I kept hearing afterward was: “Could you write one for women and explain to me why my husband won’t have sex with me?

Sure. Sounds easy.

Right?

I asked a few friends for answers, and most of us just...

The dirty detailsWhen my journey toward restoration first began I was obsessed with knowing other women's stories. I wanted to know all the dirty details of their heartbreak because somehow it made me feel better. Maybe it made me feel normal knowing that I wasn't the only woman in the world who was hurt by porn. Or maybe it was so I could compare my husband to their husband and say, “Well at least he wasn't...

Redefining LoveLove is a fight. Love is what happens when you’ve been hurt and you want to quit. Love is what happens when you decide not to. Love is not the beginning of the story but the ending.” -- Jon Foreman

I never aspired to be the wife of a recovering sex addict. As a young woman in love with a godly young man, I would not have guessed our road would take us here, but one thing is for sure: love...

Porn or GraceHow are you not more upset right now? Every time you talk about it I feel like I've been punched in the stomach.”

My husband asked me that as we read about another brokenhearted wife whose husband is a porn addict, and I could almost see his heart beating out of his chest. His face turned sorrowful and he shook his head in shame. He doesn't understand how I can minister to hurting women...

recoveryThe road to recovery is built from the rubble of a broken marriage. God takes all the pieces and shards of your hearts, cements them together with sobriety and healing, and paves the road to recovery, leading to a restored marriage.

The road to recovery is rough, with many sharp turns. This road is not easily traveled.

But it is NOT a dead end.

The road to recovery will make you cry out in...

Make Your Marriage the Best

It's a new year and time to make some changes! Here are some practical ways to help you make this the best year yet:

1) FEEL. You're not “crazy.” After you discover your husband’s been viewing porn, it is normal to feel sad, insecure, and angry. Don't beat yourself up trying to hide all those feelings deep down inside. Fear, anger, sadness, hatred... they're all wounds on your soul and in...

The first Christmas of my marriage’s road to recovery was extremely difficult. My husband was walking wounded from the realization of what his sexual addiction and adultery had destroyed in our home. Although we were still together, my heart was certainly re-learning forgiveness and trust on a daily basis. We were both in need of profound healing.

As the holidays approached, memories of the...

Depression is nothing new to me; it’s been an ongoing battle for as long as I can remember. Behind my smiles, laughter, positivity, and bubbly personality lies an aching sadness, rotting me from the inside out. The lure of a life free from all the pain, a life where I could start all over again, lurking around the corner, taunting me to come try it.

Addiction and depression are best friends....

It's that time of year again... the time where everyone gathers to eat delicious foods and go around the table to say what they're thankful for--family, friends, good job, new baby on the way--but for most, the word “accountability” will probably not get mentioned at Thanksgiving dinner. Not only because porn addiction and recovery is still a taboo conversation piece, but also because...