XXXChurch: Spouses Blog
Step One. Start again. To some of you those are fresh words that mean a NEW start. To some of you that is frustrating because you may have had to go back to “step one” several times. What does it look like to “learn it all over again” when it comes to a relationship? What if you spouse has fallen several times and is asking for another chance? What if you were called out of that...
I (Todd) am sure that anyone who has experienced sobriety from any type addiction experiences true freedom, maybe a freedom they never have experienced. I have heard from friends who have been able to quit smoking express a newfound freedom when they quit. It is like taking a deep breath of fresh air for the first time,...new...fresh...life giving.
I think many men experience a freedom right...
Sobriety requires work. There's nothing easy about it. Yes, it is only by the grace and strength of Jesus Christ that sobriety is even possible, but it also requires much from the addict and his family. Addressing the pain is crucial for everyone involved.
There's the pain that led to the addiction. Most men and women who turn to an addiction are trying to medicate a wound from their past....
If you looked closely at pictures in our family photo album, you could probably determine by my eyes whether certain pictures were taken “before the porn,” ”during the porn,” or “after the porn.” Laughter and hope packed their bags and moved out when rejection, fear, and sadness rolled in with their steamer trunks, prepared for a long stay. I seriously wondered if my husband and I would ever...
Webster’s dictionary (1994) defines ashamed as “feeling shame because something bad, wrong or foolish was done” and shame is defined as “a painful feeling of having lost respect of others because of the improper behavior, incompetence, etc. of oneself or another.” I’m in a women’s Bible study in which the leader describes guilt as telling us we’ve done something wrong while shame tells us we...
Pornography is simply a fantasy world. It is not real nor is it based on a real relationship or commitment. It takes God’s beauty and turns it into something degrading and dirty. However, for most of my marriage I lived in the shadows of pornography. I lived feeling as if I were second best to all the fantasy images and never truly felt as if I could ever measure up to my husband’s...
When I was writing When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart, I asked twenty-five women what scared them most about their husband’s struggle with pornography. Here’s what some of them said …
“If I let my guard down, he will hurt me again.”
“I’ll never again feel like I’m special to my husband.”
“Abandonment.”
“Judgment by others.”
“My husband will choose to...
Any of you feel this way? Does Porn Piss you off? Did I use enough exclamation marks?
My ex had a porn problem and yes, it made me mad and feel like I was not good enough. Now that I am in a better…MORE healthy marriage, Porn makes me mad. I get so angry when I see it tear apart another woman or marriage.
I become so sad and then angry when I get a call from a friend who just finds out...
Pornography. There are so many emotions that can surface as a result of this one word. Anger, shame, regret, hurt and the list can go on and on. I also know what it is like to feel out of control as a result of the impact of pornography on my life.
To illustrate, let’s imagine that you are driving a car on the highway at 75 miles per hour. You see traffic backing up in front of you and so...
I had to laugh. If you asked my husband it might be “What do I do when my wife WON’T stop sexting me at work!” I have tried to make this an art form and have gotten a little ummm (cough cough) creative with it. I love for my husband to read it and be a little shocked, a little turned on, and to know I am thinking about him…..really thinking about him.
This may be super uncomfortable for...
