This road through recovery has led to many amazing discoveries. The biggest surprise has been the discovery of a number of lies I had accepted as truth.
I believed my husband needed to earn my respect.
I believe that 99% of the time I was right about 99% of everything.
I believed my best ministry years were behind me.
I believed my marriage was hopeless.
Many of these lies were perpetuated by what I was “feeling.” Then I learned that my “feelings” could be lying to me as well. How is that possible, I wondered? If I feel it, it must be true. A “feeling” can’t be wrong. It is what it is.
That’s a lie. What I’ve discovered during a Beth Moore book study with my spouses group is that my very “feelings” could deceive me. Feelings are an outflow of my perspective. If my perspective is blurred, my feelings are then also blurred. Feelings are also part of my flesh. If my flesh is distorted by sin, then my feelings can also be affected by my sin nature.
vertigoIn his book Love and Respect, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs offers the analogy of vertigo. Vertigo is a disorientation that some pilots experience in flight when their sensory organs send misleading information to their brain. The feel as if they are right side up in the plane, when in actuality, they are upside down. Pilots in training are taught to not trust in their senses when flying, but instead in their instrument panel. While their gut feeling about which way is up can be confused, the instrument panel will never lie.
I wasn’t a believer at first. When I would say to the ladies in my group that my marriage felt hopeless and I was tired of working on it because it was never going to change, they said “Marsha – that is a lie. Jesus is doing amazing things marriagein your marriage and we can already see the changes in you and Jeff.” When I confessed that I felt broken and incapable of enjoying intimacy, they responded, “Marsha – that feeling is a lie. You were created to enjoy intimacy. The Lord can grow intimacy in your marriage.”
The Truth of God’s Word is the instrument panel we must cling too, even when we are certain our feelings are right. God’s Word is solid, unchanging, a rock on which we can stand. When we are in His Word and walking though recovery with Him, He will help us distinguish between truth and lies.
“If you continue in My Word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth and the truth will make you free.” John 8:31-32
Thank yo to Marsha from Porn To Purity for this blog.