Since I am married to a recovering sex addict I must constantly work my own recovery so that I can be whole and complete in Christ. I have found when I am whole and complete, I am better equipped to lift my husband up on the days he is most weak.
On those days when my husband is weak and feeling vulnerable, it can be easy for me to become angry and bitter. I can easily become overwhelmed with the thought, “he is the man of the household and he is to be strong and never weak.” I believe our husband’s struggle with this lie as well, making it difficult for them to show weakness. However, in those times, I must remember that he is human and hold onto God’s word in 1 Peter 3:8, “Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing.” When I remember this scripture and hold onto God’s word, it makes it easier for me to show compassion and love, which in turn makes it easier for him to be open and honest with me about his weakness. The end result is him finding strength through me and therefore being lifted up.
Wives, I know this is not always easy, but if we can remember how much God loves us and focus our time, attention, and energy into creating a marriage that is safe for our husband’s to be weak, it will help us create the lasting marriage we so desperately want and need. So, I challenge you to begin building a marriage where your husband can feel cherished, honored and loved. This involves you working your own recovery and working on yourself so that you can be whole and complete in Christ. I promise you the results will be a marriage that grows and flourishes. My marriage is living proof of this! Be blessed!