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30 DAY PORN FREE CHALLENGE

30 DAYS OF ADVICE TO HELP YOU STAY PORN FREE

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10 Steps to Go a Year Free of Porn and Masturbation

by X3 on May 14th, 2015 in Men, Women, Students

10-stepsLook, we’re no dummies around here. We know a lot of you have made promises to yourself to steer clear of porn and masturbation. And we encourage that! But we also know that many times these well-intentioned promises rarely get accomplished, at least not without a strategy.

So we did something new: we asked all our contributors and writing team to give you their best strategies for keeping your hands to yourselves. Here they are, in no particular order:

1) Prepare for discomfort.
Let’s be honest, if you’re going to learn to live without porn and masturbation, you’re going to experience discomfort on many levels. Some people are so addicted that experiencing sobriety leads to withdrawal symptoms (like depression, irritability, etc). If this happens, it will be especially important to press through the pain. God will provide much-needed strength as you learn to persevere through the trial and temptations ahead. (Forest Benedict)

2) Practice self-forgiveness.
Many people can receive God’s forgiveness but are unable to forgive themselves. Feelings of shame and self-criticism can surface constantly for those addicted to porn, and many people think that beating themselves up will lead to change. Ironically, the truth is that self-criticism and shame play key roles in perpetuating addiction. Thus, learning to relate to yourself with the kind of grace that God extends to you will contribute to a victorious year. Forgive yourself for past choices and when you go astray next time, and then forgive yourself again.  Then get back up ASAP and keep moving forward. (Forest Benedict)

3) Don’t trust willpower.
Will power always fails eventually. Trust the tools and people in your life to keep you accountable. (Tweet This!) (Dave Willis)

4) Find at least one person who you can trust with everything.
It feels so natural to hide our struggles in order to appear like we have it all together. As long as your junk stays hidden though, it will fester. It will continue to control and torment you until you deal with it. Luckily, God has given us a plan for bringing that junk into the light: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed (James 5:16).” It’s a simple plan, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Be courageous though. Find at least one person who you can share your junk with so that nothing in your life remains hidden. Dig it up, talk about it, pray about it, and bless on another as you share your victories together. (Stephen Kuhn)

5) Keep stats.
Take note of the times when you’re tempted to watch porn the most. Is it when you’re stressed? Is it when you feel insecure? Is it when you’re bored? Knowing your “triggers” can reveal a lot about the root of your interest/addiction. It can also help you to figure out what you should do in place of porn. Stressed? Exercise. Insecure? Pamper yourself. Bored? Watch an appropriate movie. (Shellie R. Warren)

6) Understand what “Fleeing” really looks like today.
If porn and masturbation are a temptation for you, avoid porn gateways. Let’s be real: who can watch a two-minute soft-porn sex scene in Game of Thrones without lusting? If sexual temptation is your struggle, then don’t play dumb and go see 50 Shades of Grey. In fact, take a realistic peek at the times you’ve failed in the past and retrace your step to locate lusting gateways and “triggers.” The apostle Paul didn’t say, “be a little bit careful” of these things… he said “RUN AWAY!!!” (Jonathan McKee)

7) Recognize your God-given nature.
Embrace, accept, and celebrate the fact that God has created us as sexual beings and that the desires that come with this aspect of ourselves are to be honored. Honoring our desires does not mean denying them (that is a form of dishonor). Rather, honoring our sexual desires means lining them up with God’s intent for them – to draw us into committed, loving relationships with God, with others, and even within ourselves (Matthew 22:34-40). (Randall Ajimine)

8) Start asking the right questions.
When you feel tempted, locate that temptation within your body and ask yourself, “What am I medicating?” The truth is that “acting out” isn’t the problem – it’s the medication for the real problem. (Tweet This!) Let this year be the year where you plunge below the surface, shed the guilt and shame, and start asking the deeper questions about yourself. (Seth Taylor)

9) Change your outlook.
Stop dwelling on the negatives and start focusing on the positives. What’s good in your life? What could be even better? Then ask yourself how porn use or masturbation is limiting you in these areas. Stop making it so much about why you need to stop these negative things and more about why you want to increase these positive things. Envision a better life and then go for it. Knock down those things that are stopping you from the full realization of what life has to offer by taking advantage of the tools and resources you have available to you. (Carl Thomas)

10) Do it one day at a time.
Any lifestyle change begins with a daily commitment to live differently. Don’t focus on having to abstain forever. Focus on living today free from porn. You can do it. Then, you can wake up tomorrow and do it again. One day at a time you will overcome. (Dave Willis)

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  • Prophet Eric Devon Taylor

    Jesus is the only way out. call on his name. heed his voice, and remain obedient!

  • Joshua

    “…keeping their hands to themselves in 2015.”

    Not sure that was the best way to phrase it in an article such as this…

  • albibird

    It’s much, much easier to stay away from the porn if you still allow the masturbation. I’ve yet to see a good argument against it, either Christian or secular.

    • Brendan Gibson

      Three reasons:
      1. It’s selfish. God created sexuality as something between a man and a woman, not only for populating the Earth, but also as a means of greater intimacy within marriage.
      2. When you masturbate, you are not thinking about what you’re going to have for dinner. You are thinking about yourself or other people in sexual situations, most likely outside of the marriage bed. The root of all lusting is the mind, and to willingly put yourself in that mind-frame is sin.
      3. A little bit of sin is NEVER enough. If you allow masturbation then sooner or later your body is going to say, “This is getting boring. Let’s try something different!” When that happens, it will most likely lead you back to porn, and maybe even to the point of sleeping around.

      • albibird

        Those are the bad arguments.

        1. So what if it is selfish? There’s nothing wrong with taking some pleasure in things alone. Or do you plan to give up tasty food, television, comfortable clothes and recreational reading? If not, you’re applying a double standard here. Masturbation doesn’t harm anyone, and to argue something is sinful because people enjoy it is a very puritanical attitude.

        2. See 1. Every form of fiction works through empathy. If masturbation is evil because you are thinking about other people vicariously, then better turn off the TV. There’s also nothing in the bible that says lusting in general is sinful – just one oft-cited but mistranslated verse. Many God-endorsed characters demonstrate plenty of lustful thoughts – everything in Song of Solomon for a start. Samson even slept with a prostitute and God didn’t seem to mind!
        3. Again, your argument is circular. There’s nothing in the bible to say that masturbation is sinful. This omission itsself can be taken as an implicit grant of permission – masturbation is not something new. People have been doing it since before they’d even developed language – and I am quite sure that the people of the biblial era did it just as much as today. Yet the bible has not one word on the subject. God thought it important to include a ritual for sacrificing doves to cleanse skin conditions in Leviticus, included detailed census information in Numbers, included such strange elements as an instruction not to cook a goat in milk taken from its mother and even a helpful reminder to put a safety rail around any accessible roofing areas – and yet an instruction that would be of such relevance so such a vast number of believers is missing? If God didn’t think masturbation worth mentioning, then it’s a safe bet he has no objection.

        • Brendan Gibson

          1. Did you really just say that? God calls us to be selfless, NOT selfish. The very fact that you admit that it is a selfish act and you are ok with it worries me. And no, I’m not saying everything enjoyable is sin. Sex itself can be very enjoyable. But the difference between those things and sex is that sex was made BY GOD to be only between a man and a woman, not a man and his hand.
          2. Lusting is, by definition, wrong. There’s a difference between lusting and healthy sexuality in marriage. Song of Solomon is written to be of the latter nature. And I don’t know if you noticed, but Samson wasn’t exactly the poster boy for following God. The reason he lost his strength in the first place was because he had disobeyed God repeatedly (including the prostitute scenario), not because he got a haircut.
          3. Just because it isn’t mentioned by name doesn’t mean it isn’t in there. I know I keep saying this, but this seems to be the only point you’re not getting: Sex is between a man and a woman. Taking that from your spouse is selfish. See that? SELFISH. Something God frowns upon. Masturbation falls under the category of lusting, which the Bible repeatedly calls sin.

          • Brendan – I agree if someone masturbates to the point that it affects having sex with their spouse, then that indeed is sinful activity. However if your spouse has health issues, or simply a lower libido, masturbation is wonderful tool that God has given us to avoid real sexual sin.

        • Brendan Gibson

          I apologize for my lack of kindness during our discussion. I didn’t mean to make this into a heated argument. Will you forgive me?

        • Renard Johnson

          Look if want to keep masturbating then just do it.All this other stuff you’re writing is nonsense.It’s pretty obvious you have no intention of giving up your pet sin.You’re grasping at imaginary loopholes to justify what you want to do.I used to be the same way.You’re lying to yourself and you know it.

        • Mike

          Sex with yourself is still sex, & if I’m not mistaken Sex outside of marriage is clearly sin

    • Christ alone is our help

      Forget the good or bad argument. I have serious doubts that masterbation makes it much much easier to stay away from porn, as you say. I think the exact opposite is true. I feel like allowing masterbation in my life can snowball into a relapse back into porn. I know for a fact that masterbation is what caused porn to take such a hold of my life. Do you look at porn without masterbating? If so, good for you. Or is it the desire to masterbation that drives you to porn? If it’s the later, then does it make sense to say that masterbation helps you stay away from porn?

  • chroicbator

    God colour white (good and pure) my seaman is white therefore I am letting my purity into the world. You’re welcome

  • jimmy

    The thing about pirn addiction abd frequent masturbation is as you get older it does start to effect you not only mentally but physically aswell. Speaking from personal experience it effects sexual performance and can lead to porn enduced erectile dysfunction. Its obviously nit normal.

  • Katie4Christ

    Thank you for this article- very helpful. Sorry to see a lot of negative/argumentative comments below- remember why we are here on this site you guys!

  • Matthew

    It does talk about Masturbation specifically in the Bible, specifically in Matthew 5:30. Specifically Jesus is stating how serious lust is and that if your Hand causes you to sin to cut it off for the severity of what Lust does to your soul. Lust and selfishness will only lead to a wasteland of depression, and destructiveness to every type of relationship you may be involved in. Also it will lead you to miss great blessings and opportunities God has on your path because your focus is either on yourself or your mental addiction. This is my first time to this site and have a few issues 1. Albibird- The section of the Bible that I just gave to you should end any unbliblical or unchristian response that you may have in any reiteration, as for your argumentativeness, I wonder if you are even a Christian(That’s totally up to God, not me). You berate Brendan to the point you want to argue about something as clear as Selfishness, which you know to be sinful since you have obviously read part of the Bible. 2. God did mention it, His name is Jesus, look up the verse. 3. Brendan- You should use this verse in the future, I as well would recommend if you ever deal with a person like this again, I would simply ask him/her what there background is and why the feel the need to get into any argument. There is no need ever to get into senseless arguments, that is also in the Bible, I would be happy to point it out to you. 2 Tim. 2:23-24, 1 Cor 13:1-13, Proverbs 15:1, Romans 14:1 & 19 and there are many, many more. Brendan keep up the good fight, and I hope dealing with individuals like this only increases your spiritual walk and your memorization of The Word.

    God bless,

    Matthew

    • Brendan Gibson

      Thank you for your correction, Matthew. Sometimes what I’m thinking turns out very differently when I actually voice it haha. I also thank you for your kind words, and wish the same to you 🙂

    • Matthew – respectfully, Matthew 5:30 says nothing of masturbation. Your hand offending you could apply to a 1000 different sins, some of which would be theft, or fighting.

  • Nick

    Masturbating means less brain resources are going to God.

    Remember, it is a selfish God that we worship… a jealous God, a God who wants to command you and make you submit to Gods desires.

    God is good… because to say otherwise means God would judge you worthy of hell and eternal damnation.

    Such a good God…

  • Andrew

    It means freedom. Feeling controlled by something is a fear many manly men share. Freedom from addictive behavior. Freedom looking at women and sexual pleasure objectively. Freedom to have a mind and will of my own. Freedom to be pleased and to please my wife without the messy distractions and secrets. Freedom from guilted sex. Freedom is intoxicating. Some only find that freedom by replacing one bad behavior or addiction for another. I found that freedom in Jesus. Rocked my socks. His deliverance came just in time to save my marriage and my job. I was fortunate to find Jesus when I did, and for me it meant saying goodbye to porn and masturbation altogether. I just completed a whole year free if that life last november. Working on year number 2! That’s 2015 to me.

  • Hunter

    The steps that worked for me are: 1.) Ask God to deliver you from your addiction and have others pray for purity (I brought it up in church prayer time and Bible study prayer times several times as I was desperate for freedom), 2.) Believe that freedom is possible but you have to work for it practically and spiritually, 4.) Have an accountability partner and keep up with that person, 5.) Don’t get depressed or angry by slip-ups to the point of giving up, 6.) Take it day by day, and 7.) Thank God for every day of freedom.

    I did all of those above, which led to 46 days of complete freedom mentally and physically. I didn’t even get discouraged with a recent slip-up and now I’m on day 10 of complete freedom. I feel amazing. I never imagined making it more than a week of freedom from porn addiction.

    • Some teach “freedom” as adding to God’s rules so as to avoid sin. This is not what Paul say in Colossians 2: 18 & 20-23
      “Let no one disqualify you, insisting on ascetic practices…

      Why do you submit to regulations: “Don’t handle, don’t taste, don’t touch”? All these regulations refer to what is destroyed by being used up; they are commands and doctrines of men. Although these have a reputation of wisdom
      by promoting ascetic practices, humility, and severe treatment of the
      body, they are not of any value in curbing self-indulgence.”

      God did not create your sexuality to suppressed as some sort of wickedness, he created it for you to enjoy within the bounds of his Law.

  • Humble Noble wannabe

    I struggle with Sexual fantasy that leads to masturbation. It is sin to me. Even if I were to be thinking about my wife (and i’m not), it would be sin. Selfishness is not what Christ taught. Thank you for these 10 steps, I only need to remember the last one (ODAT) if I am walking with Him.

    • Humble, is it selfishness for you enjoy your favorite food? Say your wife is cooking your favorite dinner, you enjoy the smell of the food as she cooks it. You see it as she prepares it and your mouth waters for it – is this sinful? Of course not. If you were to shove everyone out of the way and grab all the food for yourself – that would be selfishness, but to enjoy the various pleasures of life that God has given us to be received with thanksgiving is not sin.

      I completely agree that selfishness is the very an-thesis of what Christ taught, as well what is his Prophets and Apostles taught all throughout the Scriptures. But it is not selfish to enjoy what God has given you, and masturbation is part of the gift of sexuality that God has given you. He acknowledges it as normal bodily process in Leviticus 15:16

      The choice you have is whether you will embrace the God given freedom he has given you, not for depravity(actual sexual sins), but to experience your God given sexuality within the bounds of God’s law.

  • Brendan Gibson’s previous comments, with my responses
    “1. It’s selfish. God created sexuality as something between a man and a
    woman, not only for populating the Earth, but also as a means of greater
    intimacy within marriage.”

    RESPONSE TO POINT #1: Where does the Bible say that God created sexuality as something between a man an woman? Yes God places boundaries on sexual intercourse, or anytime type of sexual contact between a man and woman – mainly that this must be within the bounds of marriage. But our sexuality, verses the act of sex between two persons is a very different thing. God does not call us to supress the sexuality he has gifted us with, but only to use it within the boundaries he has set. Leviticus 15:16(HCSB) “16 “When a man has an emission of semen, he is to bathe himself completely with water, and he will remain unclean until evening.” And no this is not taking about sex with a woman, as this is referenced seperately in vs 18. It is also not talking about only nocturnal emissions, as sleep is never mentioned here.

    “2. When you masturbate, you are not
    thinking about what you’re going to have for dinner. You are thinking
    about yourself or other people in sexual situations, most likely outside
    of the marriage bed. The root of all lusting is the mind, and to
    willingly put yourself in that mind-frame is sin.”

    RESPONSE TO POINT #2: There is nothing wrong with thinking about yourself, or taking care of your own physical needs. Biblically speaking, selfishness is when we ONLY think of ourselves, and we never think of others. Is it selfish to eat when I hungry? Is it selfish to take a vacation day from work and relax? Is it selfish to play a video game or read our favorite book? It is wrong for man or woman to take a hot bath at the end of a hard days work, soaking in the heat and taking in the pleasure from that bath? Absolutely NOT!. Selfishness is not when we experience pleasure or joy in various the activities of life, it is when we ONLY think of ourselves, and never think of others.

    I agree 100% that the root of all lusting is in the mind. But do you know what lust is? Lust is covetousness. To covet something is the strong desire(or planning) to possess something that God has not given us the right to possess. So yes I have no right to physically possess another man’s wife, or to possess a young single woman without being married to her first. However, simply finding a woman sexually appealing, or imagining what she might look like naked, or even imagining what it would be like to have sex with her(like a dream or a fantasy) is NOT Lust. Lusting after a woman would be to plot in my mind how I might take her, how I might lure her in having sex with me outside the bounds of marriage – that is covetousness, that is lust. If I were to act on those lustful(covetous) thoughts – then that would now take me from mental adultery, to physical adultery.

    God does not call on us as men to war against our God given visual nature to appreciate women, or the joy our brain gives us from the female form, clothed or unclothed. God calls us to war on the real sin, which is covetousness – that is what Christ spoke to in Matthew 5.

    3. A little bit of
    sin is NEVER enough. If you allow masturbation then sooner or later your
    body is going to say, “This is getting boring. Let’s try something
    different!” When that happens, it will most likely lead you back to
    porn, and maybe even to the point of sleeping around.

    MY RESPONSE: Porn means sexually immoral behavior. But masturbation does not have to lead to that. A man can look at simple nude images, or imagine images that would not be sexually immoral. If a man fantasizes about a woman he would like to marry, and fantasizes about sex with the context of marriage that is NOT sexually immoral behavior. Masturbation is actually a wonderful tool that God has given us to keep us from sexual immorality, and I realize you think you are doing right by depriving men of this gift that God has give us, but respectfully, I believe you are wrong.

    “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. God is faithful, and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape so that you are able to bear it.” – I Corinthians 10:13(HCSB)

    Let me ask you this question – what is the way of escape for sexual temptation when you are married? The answer according to I Corinthians 7:5 is to have sex, and have it regularly. So if sexual intercourse, which we would agree is reserved for marriage, is the answer to sexual temptation after marriage, why would would you deny what God has given us to avoid sexual temptation before marriage – Masturbation?

    Masturbation is not the cause of lust and temptation, it is the cure for lust and temptation.

    • Renard Johnson

      What delusion.You can’t masturbate without lusting.It would be better to simply ignore scripture than to twist it like you’re doing.

      • Renard – It is possible to masturbate even without an image in your mind of any woman(as some Christian web sites I have seen think is ok) – however it is a very grueling task to do so. Most masturbation, normal masturbation, would occur within the context of some sort of sexual arousal. So I would say in response to your statement – “It is very difficult to masturbate without being sexually aroused” – that is a true statement.

        But then you have ask yourself Renard, is sexual arousal the same as lust? The greek word for lust is simply “desire”, and sometimes it is used in a positive sense, and sometimes in a negative sense, depending on the context. Desire in the Bible can also be a euphemism for covetousness as Paul says in Romans 7:7 “for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet.” When we understand that Biblically speaking, when the Bible tells us not lust after something, it is telling us not to covet things God has not given to us to have, then we have a fuller understanding of what Lust actually is.

        Covetousness is not simply “liking” something. Covetousness is not “finding something pleasant or pleasurable”. Covetousness is a strong desire to possess something that God has not given us. It is fantasizing about how one could actually take possession of something, anything, that does not belong to us.

        So in the context of Matthew 5:28, Christ is clearly speaking of adultery – the sin of taking another man’s wife. He then goes on to say – it’s not just actually having sex with another’s man’s wife that is sin, but it is also sin if you to covet her, if you strongly desire to possess her, if you fantasize in your mind how you could lure her into cheating on her husband and having sex with you outside of marriage – even that is mental adultery. That is the most literal understanding of what Christ said.

        So I ask you brother – How I am twisting the Scriptures here? Is it because you would add to Christ’s words and I would not? Is because you inflate the meaning of desire(translated lust here) to mean if a man is merely sexually aroused by the beauty of another man’s wife he has committed adultery with her in his heart? Would add to Christ’s words and inflate the meaning of lust here to mean if a man masturbates to a mental or physical image of a woman he has lusted after her, even if he has absolutely ZERO intent to lure her into sex outside of marriage? Would you add all that to Christ’s words?

        • Renard Johnson

          Just keep masturbating then.If there is nothing wrong with masturbation would you do it in front of Jesus Christ?Christians are to abstain from all appearances of evil.

          • Well I tend to be a little shy about my bodily functions(but maybe other people are not as shy). I would not want to have a bowel movement or urinate in front of Jesus(or anyone for that matter) – would that make those things wrong? I would not want to have sex with my wife in front of Jesus(or anyone else or for that matter) – but would that make that wrong? The reality is because Jesus is God, he sees everything I do, and everywhere I go, whether going somewhere physically or just in my mind. So to answer you question – I am at peace knowing Jesus sees me masturbate, and that he sees me have bowel movements, that he sees me urinate, that that he sees me make love to my wife.

            “I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.”
            Psalm 119:45

            And by the way I love the old KJV, and I quote from it often, but just as the KJV translators themselves said – “a multitude of translations is good for finding the sense of the Scriptures”. I Thessalonians 5:22 in the KJV it reads “Abstain from all appearance of evil” – back in 1611 they understood that to meant to “stay away from evil in every form that it takes”. But over time people mistranslated it to mean – “even if something is not wrong, if it could appear to anyone else to be wrong, then don’t do it”. That is not the teaching of the Scriptures. The NASB and other translations have translated this in better modern terms as “abstain from every form of evil.”. Masturbation is not a form of evil, never once in all the Scriptures is it condemned, and in fact in Leviticus 15 God recognizes it as normal bodily function, he only asks to people to clean up after themselves as they were concerned about spreading diseases.

    • Me

      Ummmm… Do you really believe it is ok to look at ‘simple nudes’ or that imagining about having sex with a woman you find attractive is not lust? Wrong. Being single does not make your proclaimed safe version of lust ok. A woman being in a picture doesn’t make it ok to masturbate to her image. Just because you’re not imagining finding her and being with her doesn’t make it not lust, if anything, it reveals an inclination to objectify a woman as merely something pleasing for your penis… Sounds like the kind of mind that would have a difficult time in a marriage. Every woman you look at and imagine naked, every image you masturbate to, is robbing you and your wife of the intimacy you were designed for. I do believe men need to ejaculate regularly, hence nocturnal emissions. IF masturbation and sexually impure thoughts are not a struggle for you, and you are able to occasionally just masturbate purely for physical release with no lust in your heart, then maybe I could see the merit, but it is still not entirely convincing. abstaining from self pleasure greatly enhances married sex and climaxes during intercourse. We are supposed to deny our flesh. Masturbating, especially with a naked body in mind, is flesh. It is not intimacy shared with your wife. It is not bonding. It greatly increases the likelihood of impure thoughts, which we are supposed to take captive, not ‘allow’ BC the fantasy doesn’t have an intended itinerary.

  • Jade

    This is a great article, very practical and heartfelt. I think what it really boils down to is what us God saying to you? Some people believe masterbation is wrong, some believe it’s healthy and some believe in moderation. We are all entitled to free choice. The most important thing to remember is that we are all different, and are on different paths. You know in your heart when He is communicating with you that something isn’t right.. You know in your spirit when you’re not fully giving him %100..and it’s usually when you find yourself justifying your actions, and though your heart says something different you try to convince yourself otherwise. These types of discussions are not so much about fact but about personal conviction (loving conviction from the Holy Spirit). I am convinced that masterbation and porn addiction is an emotional/sexual epidemic today. Because we are bombarded with sex, it’s everywhere and there’s just not enough of the healthy editions out there our minds have been brainwashed. I am so blessed to have found this website, you have begun a revolution that is changing the world, God bless you xo

  • B

    Thank you so much for this site. I am a Christian teen girl raised in church my entire life, active in youth group, with on fire parents and I struggled with masturbation since about age 11 or 12. It makes me angry that Satan lies and says only the bad girls at school do these things; I’m as churched as it gets & look where not confronting sin has gotten me. I’m starting to realize that masturbation is a monster. Don’t lie to yourself that you can control it and use it as a way to supress lust; it breeds more lust. As a younger kid, things were more controllable but once I got older & naturally began to become more sexually interested, that quiet pleasure of masturbation turned into a raging beast, my friends even confronting me about making lustful comments too much. Now I find myself at this older age trying to find pictures of nude men to masturbate to, and I’ve always said I’d never let myself look at porn, that this was innocent because it was me and my body doing something to relieve stress. NOT! What also disturbed me was that the sites providing me with material had gay models, instead of the straight, masculine, Godly men my heart longs for as it should. What’s even worse is now I started to see guys in my youth group and at school in a sexual way beyond what is okay. Only recently have I been waking up in the middle of the night from nightmares that I had had premarital sex & my parents found out, or worse that I had gotten pregnant. Now, the nightmares include boys that I’m friends with. I realize I am in a downward spiral & God & XXX church found me just in time. Because I know I couldn’t have found it; God placed it in my path. I don’t want to let lust stop me from going farther in my relationship with God any more! I believe with resources like XXX church & getting into the Word I can break this! Please keep me in your prayers. Love, B

    • E

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. Mine is very similar to yours and we’re probably pretty close in age. It is encouraging to hear stories of others my age who are fighting this battle like me and working their way towards recovery with God. God bless you!

  • tbryant1020

    I have an issue with the phrasing on point two, practice self-forgiveness. Instead of reading “and when you go astray next time” shouldn’t it read “and if you go astray again”? I feel like it is setting yourself up for future failure if you say when I stray again. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand that relapse is sometimes a part of recovery but the mindset that we have during that recovery is the key to our success. I have been sharing these with my small group and noticed that and thought I would point it out. Thanks for everything you guys do, you have been a big part of my recovery from porn addiction over the past five years.

  • Cristiano Sequeira

    There is a typo on point 4: “…bless on(e) another…”

  • Lynn

    Hi my name is Lynn Thanks for the article I need prayer. I don’t even know how I got to this point.. I just know I can’t go on this way. Anyway thanks.

  • Mike

    Boredom is one of my triggers and I would not suggest watching an appropriate movie as suggested. Although it may work for some, not for me. In those times I can’t even watch the news without wanting to give in. During times of boredom I have to do one of the following all of which just involves refocusing or redirecting your thoughts elsewhere: pray (sometimes works, sometimes just a delay tactic), get busy doing something like chores, leave just go somewhere, and read your bible. I have noticed that doing a bible study and being more active in my prayer life has truly helped. I am finally starting to learn to take my eyes off of myself and my sin and focus on Jesus Christ. It is His work in me and my reliance on Him that have rescued me. The bible study and prayer are what draws me closer to Christ. They also equip me for the battle. The saying from my Marine Corps days “the more you sweat in training the less you will bleed in battle” I think could be applied to this maybe reworded. Anyway, great article! I just thought I would throw that little tid bit in about the boredom thing.

    By the way two bible studies that have helped me and continue to help me are below.

    Sit, Walk, Stand by Watchman Née, this is a study on Ephesians

    Romans 1-7 For You by Timothy Keller, obviously a study on Romans. I am currently in the middle of this one.

    Thank you for all you guys do! Keep up the good and faithful fight. God bless you all!

  • Emma

    I just need to stop watching these stuff ! and can’t !
    I need help !

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