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3 Ways To Stop Looking At Porn At Night

by Paul R. on April 25th, 2016 in Favorites, Men, Women, Students

blog-template nightWhen I first start coaching a guy here at XXXchurch, one of the first things I ask them is when and where they look at porn the most, thinking that a lot of them are looking at porn at night. There are numerous answers, but one of the most popular is indeed: “I find myself looking at porn at night, in my room, when everyone else has gone to sleep.”

Most of the time porn is viewed in isolation, when we don’t want anyone to find out about it. Looking at porn at night, then, provides the perfect cover because it is then when we are most likely to be alone.

It’s not easy to become free from a porn addiction. It might actually be the most difficult thing you ever do, and sometimes it requires taking your current lifestyle and deconstructing it so you can see where and when you are most vulnerable. So that’s exactly what we are going to do.

Please note: these 3 simple tips alone are not going to be enough for you to break free. Freedom may also require some deep searching into your very identity to see why you medicate with porn. It may mean dredging up deep wounds that you’ve suppressed for years.

But we’ve got to start somewhere, and this may be as a good as place as any. So, here are three ways to stop looking at porn at night.

1. Go to bed earlier

This probably sounds very obvious but cutting short the amount of time you have available to view porn in the evening is going to help a lot. Going to bed earlier, and then reading or listening to a podcast while you gradually fall asleep can be a great way not only to distract you but also to give you something other than porn to focus on.

Not only that, but since boredom and tiredness are massive triggers for many, getting an extra few winks will help you think more clearly and ward off some of the porn-induced tiredness we all know and hate.

2. Turn off internet devices

We all know that porn is more easily accessible now than ever before. You have a smartphone? You own porn! Which is why shutting off your device that you spend so much time on will help you greatly. I even started to leave my phone and computer downstairs in my basement because I knew that, as much as I love getting up at 3:00 in the morning, I’m less likely to go all the way down there to get them if I get in the mood to start looking at porn at night.

Being online late at night also keeps your mind racing, which can lead to exhaustion, an inability to de-stress after the day, and medicating all that busy-ness with something, even if it’s not porn.

But this is about more than just our connected devices; it’s about reconnecting to ourselves and our Spirit, and blocking out the noise that seeps into our thoughts. Have you tried to just sit and be quiet, listening to your breath? It’s really difficult. Yet, when you learn to be comfortable with the quiet, you will find a piece of you waiting to reconnect with God, yourself, and others.

3. Finding community

Now that we’ve established that looking at porn at night—and even just being online at night—can effect our spirits and our physical bodies, what can we do instead?

Well, instead of searching for the connection we all demand and desire as humans on social media or online, how about we look up and find it in the people around us? Whether it’s family or friends, what would it look like if we reconnected with those around us before traveling to the land of Nod?

Maybe it means catching up with your wife and opening up about how your day has been. Or maybe it’s heading outside to meet with friends for a drink or coffee. Play a board game, go for a walk, take some time to play with your kids, ask someone out on a date. Whatever it means, late at night, for you to connect with other humans instead of their online alter egos, do it.

Gradually you’ll find yourself not needing the false sense of being known by porn.

At the end of the day, quite literally, porn is not going to help us find peace, even if we’ve had a stressful day or can’t stand the deafening silence of being alone.

But taking time to disconnect or reconnect with other people may just be the place we need to start to find a wholeness that we all crave.

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