50 Ways to Leave Your Lover
By Jeff Fisher – www.porntopurity.com
Week three’s question of “Why can’t I stop?” is such a popular one for those of us who struggle sexually. We can stop other habits, why not this? Why am I disciplined with other habits and overcome by pornography?
Our frustration has us looking for they key to stopping. There’s got to be a commitment to God I can make, a special prayer I can pray, or a super successful purity step I can make.
Where’s the magic THING that’s going to help me stop!?
What we don’t understand is that stopping our sexual struggle is not as simple as adjusting any ONE THING. There are MANY THINGS that are influencing our ability to stop our sexual struggles.
We have developed dependancies (addictions) to these brain chemicals that can be hard to shake.
Dopamine helps us bond.
Norepinephrine generates adrenaline.
Oxytocin has a numbing effect.
Serotonin brings a sense of calmness
Here are the first 7 of 50 ways to leave your “lover” or mistress of Porn ::
- Habit things in our behaviors – Years of looking at porn and acting out sexually build big habits. We’ve trained ourselves to go to porn to meet our needs. Big habits take a long time to break.
- Emotional things in our heart – We have genuine emotions. These aren’t going away. We have to learn to identify what’s in our heart and move in healthy directions with it.
- Sexual things in our body – Our bodies have cycles. They have buildup. We have been bonding with others and with ourselves. Our bodies need discipline and will go through withdrawals when we cut off the sexual flow.
- Intellectual things in the mind – Perhaps least understood by many sexual strugglers. We have believed many lies about ourselves. We have low self-esteem, self-hatred, woundedness, wrong ideas about God… all of which are attached to deep seated lies we need to expose.
- Relational things with others – Some of our relationships are sexual, some are damaged, some are dysfunctional… and we have developed unhealthy bonds with these people. We have to detach from bad relationships and bad bonding and begin forging new, healthy relationships.
- Spiritual things with God – Spiritually, pornography is worshipping sex. We are trying to fill the deep need we have for God with a bad alternative. Breaking from idolatry and turning to the true God is hard for many of us. Also, many of us question our salvation and our relationship with God. Give attention to your spirtual confussion.
- Unhealthy things in our environment – Sexual strugglers have taken residence in a bad environments. We go to clubs. We hang out with friends that influence us sexually and trigger us. Our home might be filled with temptations as well – unprotected computers (X3 Watch), cable TV with no guards, sensual magazines, etc. Our environment needs to have an imediate change.
Pornography leaches into so many areas of our life. Stopping involves more than stopping a behavior. It requires an overhaul of many areas of our lives. It’s not impossible. Don’t be discouraged. God wants us to be pure. He works through His Spirit and other people in our support team to help us get healthy.
My point is that if you want to stop, you have address many areas of your struggle, not just your sexual behavior.
Jesus is the real savior and love of your life. Your addictions are simply mistreses or “lovers. You just read 7 ways to leave your lover. What are another 1 you can think of? (We need 43 more).