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30 DAY PORN FREE CHALLENGE

30 DAYS OF ADVICE TO HELP YOU STAY PORN FREE

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8 Practical Tips To Quit Masturbating

by Jeff Fisher on September 26th, 2013 in Men

8 practical tips to quit porn blogpostQuitting masturbation isn’t easy–even veterans still have challenges in this area. But it is a battle you can win.

Here are some practical ideas that have helped me:

1. HAVE HEALTHY OUTLETS – Masturbators are energetic, creative, and passionate people who have a lot to offer. Find healthy places where you can take that energy and put it to good use.

2. DEAL WITH THE UNDERCURRENTMasturbation is not really about the behavior–it’s about medicating pain (Tweet This!) and trying to satisfy unmet needs in your life. Take a deep breath and go below the surface to find out WHY you’re masturbating. An X3Group will help. So will a counselor.

3. START WRITING AND KEEP WRITING – This may sound crazy, but writing in a notebook or journal is a healthy outlet to get your “stuff” out. Write out your anger. Write out your feelings. Use it as a way to talk it out–both to yourself and to God.

4. GET A STRATEGY FOR YOUR ALONE TIME – Alone time and boredom can lead to masturbation, simply because you just have nothing else to do, so try to stay busy. Fill up your calendar. Go to bed tired.

5. GET A MEDIA STRATEGY WHILE YOU’RE AT IT – Attack the source. Set up roadblocks. Consider a program like X3watch for your computer. Consider some filtering for your TV or a password. Restrict the sources of temptation.

6. YOU NEED A BUDDY – Find someone you can talk to about your struggles, someone you can trust and who will keep confidence. What I’m talking about here is accountability. This person may have to be a counselor or a minister. Again, an X3Group is a great place to start.

7. REALIZE IT’S A PROCESSYou didn’t become addicted overnight; you won’t get free overnight, either. (Tweet This!) Sobriety happens one day at a time, one meeting at a time, one breakthrough at a time. An X3Group will help you stay strong during this process.

8. PRAY, THEN PRAY SOME MORE – You probably have prayed God would take your masturbation away. A better prayer might be, “God, help me have a change of heart. Help me deal with the deep stuff. Help me find better outlets. Help me find a way to talk my stuff out with someone.”

Got more practical ways to quit masturbating? Leave them in the comments below.

 

 

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  • Guest

    I know in XXXPure I learned it is a problem because you then develop that as a routine and if you become married it is hard to adjust to married life. What are some other reasons that make it wrong? What bible verses support the argument? Even Christians I have talked with about this issue haven’t thought it was “that big of a deal” and I think the stance from XXXPure was that it is kind of a gateway drug. I am curious about what others would say.

    • Eric

      There is no specific verse that calls out masturbation as a sin Liz. However, adultery is a sin for sure. Christ raised the bar in Matthew 5:27-28 when he said,  “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”….. So short of masturbating without a thought or image in our mind (not likely), it is classified as adultery due to the condition of our heart while doing it…. Good news though! His grace is sufficient. He loves his kids too much to leave them in an unhealthy spiritual state.

      • Guest

        Thank you for sharing.

      • Bez

        I’d like to challenge the assumption that it’s “not likely” to masturbate without thoughts or images. A penis with normal erectile potency is fully capable of reaching orgasm without any thought to fuel it- purely on sensation alone. Therefore it wouldn’t be classified as adultery, people only group masturbation together with adultery because most men don’t want to masturbate without porn. I wouldn’t advocate masturbation though because you’re only making it harder for yourself to quit porn. Stop seeking those temporary highs and you won’t need to seek anymore of it (a.k.a “the chaser effect”)

        Peace yall

        • Mike G

          The reality is you WANT TO, and DO, lust and fantasize when you do it.

    • Sue

      I had no idea my husband was addicted to porn and masturbation. We were married over 20 years before I found out. I thought he was just not that “into” sex with me and was not that attracted to me. Needless to say, a great deal of damage was done to our relationship but now that he has done the things on this list, we are on our way to healing. Look, it’s like so many things. Some people can have a drink and that’s it. Others can’t; they’re alcoholics and they will slowly ruin themselves and everyone around them. So it’s an individual call, imo

      • Batingaddict

        I have the same problem. I didnt understand why i couldnt perform anymore and i realize that im just so in the habit of porn and masturbation i couldnt get aroused unless im watching porn. I have no idea how to over come this it has been so difficult and i hate this.

        • RAYMOND HERSHBERGER

          Praying for you! anybody can overcome if you really want it!! God is greater and more powerful than Satan! Hang in there,you can do it!

  • Esther

    A tip is to pray when you’re thinking on stuffs… because when you’re praying, you won’t think on pornographic things or in the action, and keep on praying. When you get to think in it, pray.

  • garrettaro

    I appreciate the practicality of this list.

  • Remi

    Print Bible verses on the issues of lust and put it on your wall or somewere you find you get tempted a lot. As soon as you get lutfull thoughts runni thru your mind go and proclame these verses it will act as a weapon agaisnt you’re thoughts and will defently shut them of. Here are some good verses: job:31:11-12, Roms 8:6, Gal 6:7-8, Roms 13:14, Matt 5:29-30, 2 tim 2:22, col 3:5-6, Eph 5:3, 1 Co 6:18-20,1 thes 4:3-6, Ps 101:3,Roms 14:12, Ps 84:10-12

    • MountainR

      Thanks man. I love it.

  • JacksOffAllDay

    Are you fucking kidding me. Fuck this shit. Every human being should masturbate, it’s pretty fuckin’ simple. Grow a brain.

    • Sue

      No, it’s not. this site isnt just about porn, or masturbation. It is about ADDICTION to porn or masturbation. There are so many “happily married” men with addictions to porn and all the variations this site talks about. Many feel shame (because the behavior has gone too far) and are looking for help and guidance. It isnt exactly conversation in the grocery store line, so they need sites like this.

      • i luv sex and i’m addicted and

        yo u sodum. i bet ur a vuirgin and u jus wish u cud could jak off but ur penis is 2 small

        • Outlaw

          What? English translation, someone?

    • MW

      If you don’t agree then that’s your choice, but just as you want people to tolerate your behavior accept our opinions and maybe even TRY to appreciate that people here want to help those who WANT help. Voicing your opinion the way you did (and having the name you have) just makes you look like a rebellious child and gives you NO credibility and respect. You give none, you receive none…Then live a coupe of years the way you are currently living and see where it takes you…I doubt you’ll find yourself at a place of deep peace and joy. I doubt you’ll feel like your filling your life with great purpose.

  • Doug

    If you are a Christian – then don’t forget there is power in the cross. If you aren’t then you may not know what I mean, but when I got saved it was because the power of Jesus death on the cross finally broke through to me and I saw that I had no strength to save myself.

    But once we are saved we tend to try to do things in our own strength and not take advantage of the power of the cross. The cross represents Jesus overcoming sin and death so that we don’t have to … so when struggling with any sin run back to the cross where you first really met the Savior.

  • Noah

    wow. um. there is nothing wrong with masturbation, even Doctor Dobson agrees. i have to say his view is the best that it’s o.k. but not too much. i believe i hurt myself from doing it too much, it was kind of a relapse from not doing it at all.

    so it’s best to keep it simple and do what dobson says. god created sex because it is amazing, and god is amazing, he made the passion so strong in us that it is pure necessity. masturbation can prevent cheating in marriage and premarital sex, it really can. god has it figured out.

    by controlling sex (masturbation in this case) to the point where you don’t do it all…that destroys god beauty. he wants us to see that in our daily lives, it’s just as essential as vitamins or food.

    the real question you should ask yourself is what is “satan” or Satan distracting me from?

    Maybe instead of worry about this you should be reading about love, dating, and more. Down the road you have marriage, kids, and love to worry about (all tied to sex), and it’s probably better to prepare for this because most of us do these things wrong no matter how hard we try.

    *I do not support the porn industry or looking at porn stars. But you can masturbate when it is necessary without supporting this industry.

    • Thomas Kincaid

      “*I do not support the porn industry or looking at porn stars. But you can masturbate when it is necessary without supporting this industry.”
      This seems a little hypocritical to me. Masturbation in no way ever a good thing until you become married. Masturbation is brought on from lust, and a sexual appetite mainly caused by porn. Now if you can 100% say you masturbate, whenever you do, and not think about the last porn video you watched in order to get your fix then you are one in a billion..

      • Isaiah

        Im not perfect but i know that i should strive to be better. But in this subject im a complete failure for sure. I know its a sin because lust, and adultery are both sin. And if that is not good enough for you, the bible says that Sex is for a married man and woman. Not for the unmarried, not for homosexuals and not for ones self. Thats how i know i must quit.

  • Meu

    I see why you would want to stop if it was an addiction, but most of you are just forcing this on your sons because JESUS. I’m a Pagan, and I came here for information on a way to not feel aroused so often;;

  • Eli

    Thank you.

  • Donald Desrosiers

    My problem is getting constantly targeted by woman who want to get with me and try to force themselves on me physically and spiritually, its like I am being molested and raped by them. They do not seem to understand I am not interested, it is like they are trying to push themselves on me until I submit. In defense I take care of it myself to keep me from having sex with them. They seem to think it is a game or fun but it makes me want to die, it is so embarrassing. I wish they would quit trying to get me and just leave me alone, this has been going on for twenty years. It has been a large part of the ruin of my life, but I have not been able to overcome their energy, except to seclude myself where I do not come into contact with them at all, but that is hardly a life.

    • Donald Desrosiers

      I do not look at porn, I find it revolting and disgusting, I hate what it represents… It is their physical spiritual presence being forced on me that causes me to have to take care of myself.

  • Anastasia Cruz

    Only males masturbate because they are the only ones with a sex drive and the ability to have an orgasm.This is a fact that every person should know by freshman year of highschool. Yeap, you can also catch this on iwantucams_com/search/model/orientation/biGuys.The author maybe dropped out?Who knows

    • Outlaw

      LOL you apparently failed sex ed.

  • Outlaw

    Not very helpful for an atheist.

    • Ernie

      Well, this is a Christian oriented site for Christians wanting to be free from sexually related sin. Christ has set many of us free and He will do the same for you if you’ll only trust in Him.

  • Cptenn94

    The best ways to overcome masturbation involve a couple of steps(not in any particular order, just do them all)

    1st, seek God and strength from him, and freedom from him. He may free you instantly, or it may be done over time through a process. For myself it was a little bit of both. I was addicted and struggled for a long period of time, and now I am free by his grace.

    2nd get a support system around you. Get other guys to help hold you accountable, and to encourage you along the way. Dont stay in isolation. Have someone you can call if you are facing a fierce temptation that they can help talk you down, and get through the emotions/lust.

    3rd. Remove any and all things that might feed lust in your heart. If watching tv, and seeing improperly dressed women can trigger lust, then stop watching tv. If there is a website you like, but the random adds involve busty or sexually stimulating pictures of women, then get an adblocker, or stop visiting the website. You cannot control how women dress in public, but you can seek to limit what you are exposed to.

    4th See if there is a way you can find an outlet for that pent up sexual tension. Perhaps working out, and tiring yourself out will help both smother the desire, but also release the energy in a productive way.

    5th Find encouraging scripture that you can memorize to help you in times of temptation

    Ultimately there is no way that works for every single person the same. Different people have different drives, and different ways they are stimulated, and different ways that work best for them. The thing to remember that lust is like a furnace. It will keep burning hot as long as fuel is added to it. If the fuel can be reduced, then the heat will turn down.

    My best understanding of whether masturbation is wrong, simply comes down to this. What is the purpose that God made sex? The answer I believe is he made it to be enjoyed strictly in marriage as a means of binding two married people(one man, one woman) into “one flesh”, both in their relationship, but also as it occurs when a child is formed. My understanding is true and best sex involves the spouses to give each other to satisfy each others desires and needs.

    As such, masturbation falls outside of that plan, as it is seeking to please the self. Esssentially instead of it being something given to someone else, it becomes “a gift to self”, which is not what I believe was its purpose. I think this is very clearly hinted at in the Bible, but not actually talked about. For example Paul says “do not derprive each other except by mutual consent”. The idea stated here seems to be not do not deprive yourselves of each other, but instead it is talking about meeting the other persons needs and giving yourself to them(so the focus is on pleasing the other person, instead of yourself).

    This is further inferred when reading the verse before that which says “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband.
    Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife.” The idea is ” you have a need so let me give to meet your need, while at the same time i have a need so I let you give to me to meet my need. The idea is mutual GIVING to meet each others needs, rather than the mutual TAKING and self satisfaction that is shown in pornography.

    Since masturbation allows no outlet for giving(at least outside of marriage), and it is merely to please or meet ones own needs/desire, I do believe it to be sinful; certainly it does not seem to be presented as either something God has deemed good, or best.

    But since it is not mentioned specifically in the Bible, only inferred based on the proper relationship between husband and wife, perhaps this is one of the areas in which God covers with his grace.

  • BRITTANY

    WHAT IF YOU ARE A WOMAN TRUGGLING WITH THE AME STUFF

  • Johnd1500

    A non-Christian friend told me, “There are 2 types of men in this world, those that look at porn and those that lie about it.” When I think I am alone in this rut, I look back to this.

    • Ernie

      John, that statement is not 100% accurate, but it is really close. Readily available statistics state that over 90% of teen boys will be exposed to porn by the time they reach the age of 18, with the average age of exposure age around 10. I’ve run into some who were exposed around 6 or 7. About 78% of those between the ages of 18 and 30 use porn at least monthly. In 1994, half of the men attending a Promise Keepers event raised their hands when asked if they had viewed porn in the last week, and that was before the internet, tablets, and smart phones really took off. The untold and unspoken secret is that porn and masturbation usually go together, although it is possible to have masturbation without porn. Guys look at porn to get physically stimulated. Once we are, we don’t go off and watch sports or eat ice cream. We look at porn to get that sexual release.

      Although I would be willing to bet that at least half of all men over the age of 18 are engaged in porn on a regular basis, it is not inevitable that we all remain addicted to it. We need to realize that this is a problem that is effecting most men and that we are not alone. The enemy wants us to believe that we are alone, that we are sick and perverted, that everyone else will condemn us…. so that he can keep us isolated and in shame, living in that repeated pattern of sin without getting the help we need. I broke free a while back. It wasn’t easy and I still get battled sometimes. But it is possible to get free and live in victory through the power of Christ. Now, I fill myself with Christian music, the word, praise and prayer instead of R rated movies, secular music and worldly influences. I also got accountability partners to help keep me on track.

      It’s ok to realize that many many others are struggling with the exact same thing as a means of opening up and getting the help and support you need. It is not ok to embrace the statement “everybody’s doing it” as a means to justify sinful actions. I would be happy to help you out of that repeated rut that you keep falling into. It’s not necessarily easy, but it is possible. Something additional you could try is the android app called “Man Up”. It’s an app for Men, struggling with different issues and addictions, that allows you to be open and honest in an anonymous setting. There are lots of men there with a variety of issues offering each other support, prayer and accountability.

  • Harvey

    See I masturbate sometimes(I’m a female) and I don’t think any impure thoughts or fantasize at all. I only do it bc it feels good, I’ve been trying to stop because I dont want to sin against God, it’s been hard.

  • JIMMYPALMIERI

    masturbation is gods prozac.

  • JACKSUN

    GOOD TRICKS

  • Jon

    I don’t know any thing besides the parable of the fishes and loaves of bread, I have not been to church in about 30 years. I am a bit worried about the change i want to occur. I am going to need a little help. plus I only have $50 right now. Here is one thing true. Last week I gave my heart to God. I kneeled and I prayed for hours. I felt no profound exultation. And I cried like a boy. I did not want to give my heart because it meant leaving behind (well you know what it mean). I have been pure since then with extreme effort. When I cried I wept for who I am, who I was and the bad I did. I wept because I used to be a good boy. I am not bad: never killed or robbed anyone. These are personal sins-enough this is not an online confessional.
    Last week I was having a bad day following the death of a friend. It was a Sunday the O bus was on a 30 minute schedule And I (kinda felt like I knew him). He saw with my thumb out (I have never hitchhiked in my life before this). (He was like a “Brother in Christ.”) He not only stopped for but he had recognized need and had circled again to pick me up. I found Christ again

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