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An Inconvenient Truth

by Jeff Borkoski on January 9th, 2018 in Men, Students, Spouses

Our relationship with porn might change if we viewed it the way we view heroin. Or Celebrex.

At least prescription drug companies are required by law to present the benefits and risks of their products “in a balanced fashion.”

And ya gotta tip your hat to ’em, because they do it spectacularly well. Their TV advertisements depict active and energetic people smiling, horseplaying, and sharing tender moments. Their homes are modern and immaculately kept.

The scenes are so magical (even the teenagers are smiling) you’ll hardly notice when the soothing voiceover transitions from the drug’s benefits to risks.

I transcribed this one word-for-word from an actual commercial:

“This medication may cause serious allergic reactions or suicidal thoughts or actions. Tell your doctor right away if you have these: new or worsening depression, unusual changes in mood or behavior, or swelling of the face, mouth, lips, gums, tongue, throat, or neck; trouble breathing, rash, hives, blisters, muscle pain with fever, tired feeling, or blurry vision. Common side effects are dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain, and swelling of the hands, legs, and feet. May cause … suicidal actions.”

Are they serious?!

You mean like walking in front of a train or putting a gun in my mouth?

If only the porn industry was this honest.

Imagine if every trip down Porn Lane was pre-empted with:

“What you’re about to view is more potent than high-grade heroin and faster in its onset of action. It will hijack your brain’s reward center, carving new and dangerous neural pathways, which, in turn, will render you incapable of forming close and satisfying relationships.

In lieu of a happy ending, you’ll be left feeling even more frustrated, hollow, and unfulfilled.

Evidence suggests porn will not solve your problems at home, but likely exacerbate them and create new ones.

Pornographic use is shown to increase marital tension and discord, erode trust, destroy intimacy, and heighten feelings of resentment. Even a strong marriage cannot compete with the unnatural and artificial levels of chemical excitement porn offers.

Men who indulge rate themselves as less in love with their partner, less attracted to their partner, less satisfied with their partner, and more critical of their partner’s appearance. They also cite greater frequency of erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and involuntary outbursts of road rage.

Spouses report feelings of loss, betrayal, mistrust, devastation, and anger. Many exhibit symptoms of anxiety and depression, with an increase in suicidal thoughts and actions.

Porn, like all medications, carries some risk of dependency.

Get help right away if you have these: new or worsening insecurity, unusual changes in sexual preferences, emotional detachment, lack of empathy toward your spouse, sleeplessness, chronic self-loathing, unrealistic expectations in marriage, or a tendency to objectify women.

Common side effects include denial, self-centeredness, isolation, shorter attention span, decreased productivity, and carpal tunnel syndrome.

Studies show that married men who look at porn are more likely to cheat on their wives, visit prostitutes, confuse sex with love, and trade time with their children for time alone in a dark room. In some cases, repeated exposure to pornography leads to sexual compulsion, sexual addiction, divorce, loss of employment, and soullessness.

Individual results may vary.”

And that’s the sanitized version.

I like looking at pictures of naked women (hardly a groundbreaking admission), but I’d rather get my hands on a real one.

It’s the reason I stay away from porn.
It’s not because I’m a saint, it’s because I’ve read the fine print.

Porn is a colossal rip-off. It’s also a powerful and addictive drug, one that will grind you to powder.

If porn has been one-upping you lately, I’ve got some really good news:

1. You’re not alone

2. Help is just a mouse-click away

You can find it here. I’ve known the staff up close for eight years, and they’re some of the most caring, down-to-earth, gracious people I know.

Through workshops, blogs, software, videos, and peer support, they help ordinary Joes (and Josephines) live bigger lives.

Life is better without porn.
Marriage is better without porn.
Sex is better without porn.

Ultimately, you’re better without porn.




  • Mike

    Great article! A porn user doesn’t use porn for the reasons s/he shouldn’t, they use them for the reasons they do. Like smokers, they don’t smoke to get lung cancer or heart disease – they smoke because they believe there is some benefit, crutch or pleasure behind smoking. The truth is there is no benefit to smoking what so ever, only a series of lies and illusions that the smoker believes. See through the illusions and the spell is broken, the desire to smoke is gone and a smoker can become genuinely free of smoking. It is EXACTLY the SAME with porn. There are no real benefits or pleasures to looking at pictures of naked women, none what so ever, we have been brainwashed to believe that there is some inherent benefit to viewing naked flesh,

    Spend any time in a tribal setting or nudist colony or even around your spouse for any prolonged length of time and the illusion is quickly dispelled. We have been told from an early age that there is some hidden mystery in seeing the genitals of another person – in truth, there is no real pleasure of benefit to it, if there were, we would only need to look at one image, we wouldn’t get bored and seek out novelty.

    The very fact that we quickly habituate to what ever porn we are viewing and become bored, driving us to seek out more novel images demonstrates the fact that there is no genuine pleasure or satisfaction to viewing porn / naked flesh. The very fact that we become bored is the real truth behind porn – it is a truly BORING, uninteresting, unsatisfying waste of time.

    However, while the porn user believes there is some inherent benefit to looking at porn, once they are bored they will seek out more ‘novel’ or ‘edgier’ porn to get the same hit. Remove the illusions of pleasure / satisfaction and you remove the DESIRE to look at porn. Then people can become truly free, permanently, painlessly and, further more, enjoy their new found freedom. Any pleasure a porn user gets from looking at porn is the equivalent to the relief a person gets when they stop banging their head against a brick wall. If you want to be free from porn, get it clear in your mind: there is nothing to ‘give up’, there is no sacrifice to be made, only marvellous positive gains as you reclaim your life, your energy, your vitality, your health and most of all being free of the slavery of porn.

    • Bryan Jones

      Mike, I disagree a bit with your logic. You say there’s no real pleasure to porn because, if there was, “we would only need to look at one image, we wouldn’t get bored and seek out novelty”. But take food. My favorite is lobster. If there was any real pleasure to eating lobster, you would argue that I wouldn’t get bored having it every night. But I certainly would get bored with it if I had it every day. I would need novelty. And yet I do find real pleasure in eating lobster.

  • Alice Taylor

    Great article! I love your bold style.

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