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30 DAY PORN FREE CHALLENGE

30 DAYS OF ADVICE TO HELP YOU STAY PORN FREE

 

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Blindsided by Accountability

by Will Hathaway on November 20th, 2013 in Men

If you’re like me, then somewhere in the back of your mind is a little part of you that resists the idea of accountability. As humans, we tend to be inherently rebellious creatures and dislike the thought of someone looking over our shoulders. And when it comes to our flaws and our struggles, we discover an even more independent streak that says, “I know what my problems are; just leave me alone and I’ll deal with them myself.”

The problem with that attitude is that it often leads to being slowly strangled by whatever it is we struggle with. When I came to the realization that my issues with pornography were not going to go away easily, I finally had to make a decision. X3watch wasn’t around back then, but something like it was, so I downloaded it and contacted a buddy to be my accountability partner.

To be honest, I felt humiliated even asking him to do this, but it worked. Knowing my friend would get a list of where I’d been online not only deterred me from visiting those sites, it actually took away the desire entirely. The humiliation of having to face him was so much more than the temptations to visit any questionable site.

Then it happened. I got a phone call from my friend, who sensitively began to address with me the contents of his accountability email. One of the websites I had visited had been flagged. He wasn’t judgmental or hostile–he just asked me about it.

On my end, I was baffled–because I really hadn’t gone anywhere I shouldn’t have. I soon told my wife about it, and she laughed and said, “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you I was online the other day and accidentally clicked on a pop-up ad.” Mystery solved.

I learned something that day, though. I learned I had a real and true friend who was willing to risk our entire relationship to do what was best for me. It actually took our friendship to a much deeper level, and I knew he had my back no matter what.

I’ve since moved to a place in life where our accountability relationship isn’t quite the same as it was, but our friendship is still as strong as ever. The result of accountability was so much more than keeping me from from something I wanted–instead it gave me something I needed.

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  • dave_aka_lambsev

    I find that deeper than this there is a part of me reluctant or unwilling or afraid to give up the pleasure.

  • Guest

    That’s a pretty honest answer Dave. What it ultimately comes down to is at the end of the day, what do you want? Do you want to quit or don’t you? Nobody says you have to stop and nobody can make you stop if you don’t want to. It’s not like God is going to shoot lightning at you if you don’t stop. When the pros and cons are weighted there is overwhelming evidence that any addiction can have some rather adverse effects on our lives. Porn especially can wreak havic on our ability to have realistic and true intimacy with our significant relationships. You are right though in admiting that there is a level of pleasure to it, so it’s not like there won’t be sacrifice involved, but its only a sacrifice if there is not something better out there with which to replace it. Ultimately its your life and your call to do what you think is best.

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