If you’re like me, then somewhere in the back of your mind is a little part of you that resists the idea of accountability. As humans, we tend to be inherently rebellious creatures and dislike the thought of someone looking over our shoulders. And when it comes to our flaws and our struggles, we discover an even more independent streak that says, “I know what my problems are; just leave me alone and I’ll deal with them myself.”
The problem with that attitude is that it often leads to being slowly strangled by whatever it is we struggle with. When I came to the realization that my issues with pornography were not going to go away easily, I finally had to make a decision. X3watch wasn’t around back then, but something like it was, so I downloaded it and contacted a buddy to be my accountability partner.
To be honest, I felt humiliated even asking him to do this, but it worked. Knowing my friend would get a list of where I’d been online not only deterred me from visiting those sites, it actually took away the desire entirely. The humiliation of having to face him was so much more than the temptations to visit any questionable site.
Then it happened. I got a phone call from my friend, who sensitively began to address with me the contents of his accountability email. One of the websites I had visited had been flagged. He wasn’t judgmental or hostile–he just asked me about it.
On my end, I was baffled–because I really hadn’t gone anywhere I shouldn’t have. I soon told my wife about it, and she laughed and said, “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you I was online the other day and accidentally clicked on a pop-up ad.” Mystery solved.
I learned something that day, though. I learned I had a real and true friend who was willing to risk our entire relationship to do what was best for me. It actually took our friendship to a much deeper level, and I knew he had my back no matter what.
I’ve since moved to a place in life where our accountability relationship isn’t quite the same as it was, but our friendship is still as strong as ever. The result of accountability was so much more than keeping me from from something I wanted–instead it gave me something I needed.