One of the most important keys to overcoming porn is boundaries. Most of us don’t like that word because we feel like it confines us. I will be the first to admit I feel that way. We have dreams of wide open spaces, living life to the fullest and like I heard a guy once say “ I’m going to live my life with no boundaries.” As great as that may sound its unrealistic. There must be some stability in our lives. Especially if we are recovering from porn and sex addiction or we are trying to stay pure.
I’m going to keep this short and simple. Know your boundaries! If you know being home alone with the pc or TV is a problem have blocks put on both. If a restaurant where the staff is half dressed is a problem stay away. First off you need to be a man and admit what your triggers are. I had a guy tell me he knew that he had a huge problem going to the pool. Using his words he gets caught up in a “lust fest”. He enjoys going to the pool with his family but it always turns ugly mentally. My advice to him was set boundaries. Pick a time to go to the pool when its less crowded, keep your attention on your kids. Don’t just sit in a chair or relax on a float enjoying the scenery. Who knows you better than you? I have friends who travel alone and I do from time to time. When we check into the hotel we ask the clerk to block the adult channels in our room. I probably would not rent one any way but knowing that boundary has been set I have no worries.
Setting boundaries is a good thing but be careful how you set them. I have seen guys set their boundaries loose and fall on their face. I have seen others set them so tight they are miserable. You have to find that comfort zone. Work with your accountability partner on this. If you need to sit down and write out your plan do it. Writing out your boundaries does not have to be filled with graphs and charts. Keep it simple.
1. No late night Internet/ read a book
2. Preview all movies checking for nudity.
3. No eating at Hooters
These are just examples. You know where you struggle the most. Be completely honest with yourself and your accountability partner. Don’t leave any stone unturned. Setting these boundaries is one of the most important steps in staying porn free.
Are you looking for a way to understand your struggles and set up boundaries? Check out these great resources below.