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30 DAY PORN FREE CHALLENGE

30 DAYS OF ADVICE TO HELP YOU STAY PORN FREE

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Confession: I am Crossing The LIne

by Brett Sheppard on March 8th, 2013 in Men

I had a conversation with a friend who informed me he was way over the line and he knew it. He just didn’t care; he didn’t want to come back.

However, if you are reading this you are not in that place the friend of mine is. Clearly, you care. So good for you! This is already a step in the right direction.

To admit we are crossing the line there first must be a line. There must be boundaries. If you do not have boundaries I encourage you to draw them out. Be specific. For me crossing the line is defined as: I am intentionally seeking out pornographic images.

Because the theme of this blog is confessions allow me to confess; a few weeks ago I began to cross the line. I was able to find a Twitter account that had pornographic images on it, and I found myself browsing through these images. I knew I was crossing the line because of what I have just mentioned above: my boundaries. Once we have admitted we are crossing the line we must take the next step and retreat back across the line. Let me tell you how I was able to successfully do this.

This is extremely difficult. But God is faithful.

For me once the line has been crossed I hear Satan whisper in my ear, “You’ve already sinned. It’s too late for you. You may as well go all out and find more porn you want to see.”

He encourages me to give myself to porn completely.

First, RESIST AND REBUKE!

You may find it helpful to rebuke Satan and his lies out loud in the name of Jesus. There is power in the name of Christ.

Secondly, replace the enemy’s lies with truth. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” I believe this still applies to when new have given in to temptation, but not yet given ourselves to the sinful act. There is ALWAYS a way out.

So find the way out. Maybe you have to get up and leave wherever you are. Maybe you have to call someone. Maybe it’s time to go for a walk. The point is you need to couple spirituality with practicality.

Lastly, there is power in confession. No I am not a Catholic. I do not believe going into a little box next to a priest, pulling a curtain in front of my face, and verbally spewing forth my sins makes me clean again. If you do, that is fine I am not attempting to bash Catholicism. Also, I believe the Catholics know what they’re doing with confession. Confession does lift the weight off your shoulders and it undermines isolation. I have quoted James 5:16 before, and I believe it applies here again.

So I urge you to confess. Confess to an accountability partner. If you do not have one get one here http://x3groups.com/ Utilize the confession page which is completely anonymous. People will give you encouraging feedback here!

Above all do not give up. Get back on the right side of that line you’ve been crossing

@BrettWSheppard

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  • Jake

    This is great thanks for the insight!

  • Tin Man

    Good confession. As you admitted, you had already fallen by looking at the porn images on the Twitter account, but being tempted to continue.

    So, when does the initial temptation occur and what is the way of escape? Typically, it’s our contact with mild degrees of sexuality that arouses the desire for greater degrees of sexual content; thus willful exposure to sensuality is the FIRST step of the sin of looking at porn. In light of that, it is thus sinfully foolish to have internet access, a DVD player, cable television and such, since these cause us to be exposed to mild sensuality and also are the means we would use to commit the sin of looking at more graphic sexual images. We try to set up blocks on these devices, but those are rarely foolproof; there are ways to get past the blocks.

    So, If we choose to have these devices, we value having them more than avoiding the sin of looking at porn. The logical choice for maintaining moral purity is to live without technology in a community where everyone dresses and acts modestly. Living without these devices is the first step to being free from this sin, as the scripture teaches: “Flee youthful lusts”, “Don’t give the devil an opportunity” and “make NO provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof”. Having these devices is the opposite of “fleeing”, we’re buying the means to commit the sin. It’s making provision for the flesh. Jesus said to pull out our eyes and cut off our hands, if that’s what it took to avoid having sin in our lives.

    My case though is quite different. I used to have a porn addiction, couldn’t resist the temptation. I currently live alone, without any filtering or blocks of any kind. I almost never look at porn. It doesn’t tempt me anymore, though if I get into it, then the “addictive” tendency begins again. I enjoy sexual imagery when I see it and have established my “boundaries”.

  • Jack Valentine

    Tin Man, I’m glad you rarely look at porn now. I would be interested to know what your “boundaries” are, that statement seemed vague. You first asked when the initial temptation occurs. It occurs in our minds.

    Your approach to escaping porn is a completely environmental one. You assert that changing one’s environment will get rid of porn. This is a very effective strategy, but it appears you take it to extremes. Eliminating technology can be helpful when struggling with porn addiction, but your argument supposes all technology is used for evil. What about what we are doing here? This is a healthy exercise for those struggling with addiction. If we were to “cut off our hands” by eliminating technology we would also lose the ability to connect with others who struggle with the same thing, which is a great way to overcome.

    You also stated, “Willful exposure to sensuality is the FIRST step of the sin of looking at porn. In light of that, it is thus sinfully foolish to have internet access, a DVD player, cable television and such..” But as I stated earlier, the desire to look at porn begins in out minds. Therefore, if your statement is valid it is then “sinfully foolish” to have a brain.

    The point is there is a place of sexual tension we must learn to thrive in. I recommend a holistic approach to preventing porn that utilizes environmental, cognitive, and spiritual techniques. As for you, it appears you may have found a way to live in that tension. Congrats! Keep it up brother

    • Tin Man

      My question and approach were actually more rhetorical than personal. But, I agree that the temptation starts in the mind. I think most young guys will acknowledge that contact with mildly sensual imagery, thoughts, etc., gradually lead them to wanting more graphic sexual imagery. Thus, if “initial temptation… occurs in our minds”, then my point is that when one decides to buy a DVD player, computer, internet access, handheld device, it is a moral choice being made to give oneself access to sensual imagery. This sensual imagery tends to lead men into deeper degrees of said imagery because they are visually oriented sexually and find it intoxicating and irresistible. It would be similar to buying a gun for self-defense, yet knowing that you have suicidal thoughts or keeping cooking sherry in the cupboard of an alcoholic.

      I was taking it to extremes, “reductio ad absurdum”, in a sense, which you went further to say we need to not have a brain. Jesus said something similar, whatever causes you to sin, cut it out of your life. We realize he was using hyperbole to make a point that hell is so horrible it would be worth it to lose a hand or an eye to keep oneself from a sinful habit. Since we are crucified with Christ, whether we know it or not, and circumcised with the circumcision of Christ, our sin nature has been rendered inoperative, so that problem is solved. Yet we have the practical outworking of righteousness, and that is our topic here.

      The practical outworking of the problem of exposure to sensuality has led some to the monastery and others to requiring their women to wear burqas. I contend that much of what is considered sinful and lustful isn’t– specifically thoughts/images of sex/nudity and masturbation. But as long as one believes that it is, they’re in bondage to their conscience: “to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean.” This artificial bondage of trying to attain to a false definition of purity, as if one was asexual and called to celibacy when he/she isn’t, is at the bottom of many Christian’s struggles. “Lack of knowledge” as to the biological need of males to ejaculate regularly and the benefits/purpose of orgasm for men and women has “destroyed my people”.

      My boundaries are easy and my burden is light. Leviticus 18 is a good list of taboos for us to not use as entertainment.

      • Jack Valentine

        “But as long as one believes that it is, they’re in bondage to their conscience” This is very interesting. the idea that one could be in bondage to their conscience. I understand your point now, and thanks for the food for thought!

  • GeoffSmart

    I’d like to add a few more tips to help get back over to the right side of the line.
    First, when sober work out what to do in this situation, who to call for help, where to go to get away, what to do with your phone or whatever.
    Second, pray for the person(s) whose image you are viewing.
    Third, belong to a 12 step or similar group where you will confess.

    • Hi maintenance

      Those are great practical steps, thank you.

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