My name is truitt

I am a 33 yr old male. I just want to let everyone know my story. I was 8 yrs old when I first got introduced to porn. I have older brothers as you people know that have older brothers they tend to want to use you as a laughing device at times. So around 8 yrs old, I went with my brothers over to one of there friends houses where his dad had a homemade movie of him and his step mom, so that was my first experience but not last. Masterbation started in my life not even knowing what I was doing just doing it. From that pointe on I would do all I could to take there magazines out from under there mattress or other places they would hide them. I would even sneak around and hide when my mom would have this one friend of hers over, because she was big up top and just look and think thoughts that were already engraving themselves in my mind.

When I was nine me and my so called girlfriend at that age, we would go to each others houses and hang out. So of course I would talk to her about my new discrovery and we would kiss and touch each other, it was always kinda scary, because we didn’t really understand at that age about our anatomy. there was even a time when me and her and another boy and girl we were class mates with were talking about all sneaking off and experiencing what we had seen and talked about, but thank the lord it never happened.

When I was 10 yrs old my parents got divorced. My father would sleep around with other women. So me and my sister lived with our mom. When I would go stay with my dad he would have movies and I would sneak them and watch them whenever I could get my hands on them, it was like candy to me. I would go over to my cousins house and his mom had movies and we would sit there and watch those movies like kids play video games now days. So as always things get stronger, we lived in a older style house in town and the bathroom doors had the old key holes that you could look through so when my sister would have friends over I would spy on them, just anything I could do to try and feed that disease. I would even let my friends look at my sister just so I could look to.I would also get close with some of my sisters friends as I would get her to talk to them about liking me and I would mess around with them, but still never having sex. Me and my friends would do the same with there sisters and there friends, it is a sicking disease that starts building its self in us at such a young age. So as time went on and I got older.

When I was 16yrs old, my main objection was to get a girl in bed. A month after I started driving , I had sex for the first time. Me and my friend slept with the same girl that night. It was not with my girlfriend at the time I had already been dating her for about a year, she would do everything but have entercourse with me at the time. I would cheat on my girlfriend any chance I got and would continusly push her into having sex with me by abusing her verbaly, just making her feel like she was never good enuogh for me or would never satisfy me.

Even after she had sex with me I contuined to cheat on her and verbaly abuse her. People would tell her I cheated on her but she contuined to stay with me anyway. We stayed together for the remaining part of my high school years and then some. After we broke up, I just kept getting worse, I couldn’t get enough, so I would get girls to go to xxxstores and buy toys to use or whatever objects I could to defile them. I would even make them sleep with my friends, by telling them that I would not have anything else to do with them.I would get with a girl and sleep with her and then I would have her hook me up with her friends. It was like I could never conquer enough, I wanted to see what the next one was like in bed and on and on. Also I was living the night life clubbing, partying etc.

At the age of 27 yrs old I worked with a preacher at my job and he would talk to me about church and the bible and I would listen the more I was around him the more I would question him and want to know more, but not when anyone was around. Well ,I worked with him for about 2 yrs and one morning he asked me to pray with him and I didn’t really know what to say, but I did and I know the lord came to live in me at that moment, I was different and never to be the same!! He told me to get in a good bible believing church and get connected, but I did not want to go to church, I was scared and just didn’t really want to quit what I was doing it was all I knew. Probally a month after that experience he went on a missions trip to india for two weeks and I quit working there. I went to work on the road traveling all over state and out living the same lifstyle in and out of strip joints and clubs and this went on for about another 2 yrs and I quit working on the road and got a job back at home.

The whole time those 2 yrs I was completely miserable, just never could get satisfied with not knowing more about my lord and savior! So I ran into a old friend of the family and he was a preacher now and he started meeting with me at night one on one bible studing and he would invite me to his church but I was still scared to go. I was living with my girlfriend at the time and we were partying a lot, I would still cheat on her when she would not sleep with me at least once a day or sometimes more, I just could not get satisfied. But completely miserable on the inside with a yearning for more of Jesus.

So after about 3 months I finally went to church and as I was walking up to the church all I wanted to do was run as far as I could go “ IT WAS SO SCARY I’LL NEVER FORGET THAT FIRST TIME”. After going there for about 2 months I could not stand it any longer I had to go up in front of the church give my get baptised. I was so excited it was an awesome day one that I will never forget “ CHERISHED ALWAYS AND GETTING BETTER EVERYDAY”.

I was still living with my girlfriend and she would not help me any. She would say things to me about reading my bible and would want to have sex and still want to go partying, but on the inside of me there was a big difference, but I could not quit sleeping with her. I even got an apartment but still stayed over there all the time. I was so miserable on the inside I would cry to her about it but she did not understand. So I started praying for the lord to make known if we should be together or not and we broke up for about 2 weeks and it sucked. She came over one night and we got back together. I told the lord I would never pray that pray again.

But I got so miserable on the inside again about what I was doing that I started praying for him to make her call it off and she did and would not take me back. I still wanted to be with her so bad even in the misery, that seems so strange but it is the flesh wanting to be filled. So out of anger I went out and slept around a few times but could not stand what was going on inside of me. I even brought a girl home and put in a porn tape and we started messing around and I started crying and just told her I could not do it.

I just did not understand what was happening to me, that just wasn’t like me. I was very different. After about 3 months of wanting to be back with her, Gods peace just consumed me and I was so thankful I listened to what was deep in my heart. I know why now because the lords Grace and mercy is so overwhelming it just toyally amazes me! I am still single and waiting for the lords very best in my life to come and I have had many of ups and downs. I have looked at porn off and on and still fight with it time to time on the web, but where the lord has brought me over the last 4 years is just amazing to me, without Him I could never be where I am. You would not have this site without Him in your hearts and I am so thankful your obedient to vision the lord has put in your heart.

The lord has prompted me to sow seeds as a means to conquering the stronghold in my life by wrighting this testimony on your site. So to say all of this, there is an awesome savior in us and I am so glad that you have this site for all to see and be open with others in love. I pray this will glorify our lord and savior in all who read it. I just want love to manifest in all of us to reach out to all who don’t know where to turn. “JESUS SAVES”

“Love Overcomes”

Truitt