Pornography at its most fundamental level has no basis in reality. It is nothing more than a fantasy that, in one form or another, negatively affects the lives of men. Porn influences how men think about, value, and ultimately treat women. It should come as no surprise, then, that men experience difficulty in their relationships and ability to interact with real women due to pornography use.
Real women have emotions and feelings. They enjoy the freedom to share those feelings and emotions in the context of loving relationships. Porn fails to acknowledge these simple facts. The actresses in pornographic videos don’t cry, they don’t experience anger, sadness, or jealousy, and they certainly don’t nag their lovers. Is it unreasonable, then, to expect that a man who has selfishly allowed pornography to emotionally define and characterize women would have difficulty with a real woman’s emotional needs? I think not.
Real women desire to be loved and valued. They don’t experience joy in being treated like objects. By definition, pornography IS the objectification of a woman. In porn, there is no true love. It portrays women as nothing more than sexual objects whose sole purpose is to satisfy the most selfish sexual desires of a man. As porn actresses “willingly” share their bodies with men in such dehumanizing ways, they communicate an undeniably powerful message of intense pleasure to consumers. The fact is, however, this message is a lie. You’d be hard pressed to find one actress who experiences genuine sexual pleasure in those moments of being used. It’s no wonder, then, that men who allow porn to define a sexual relationship with a woman – in the absence of love – will be highly disappointed with reality.
Unlike porn actresses, real women don’t always have perfect makeup, expertly styled hair, breast implants, and tans. Hours of preparation go into making these erotic performers look the way they do. A man who allows porn to define his visual expectations and standards for his wife will become disillusioned. The more a man allows pornography to influence his standard of “beauty,” the less he will be satisfied with the real woman in his life.
If you are allowing porn to influence your understanding of women and sex, you will inevitably be disappointed. It will be very difficult for you to relate with a real woman emotionally, spiritually, physically, and sexually. Stop allowing yourself to be deceived. Abstain from pornography, and repent of your selfish view of women and sex. Base your understanding, instead, on the truth of God’s intelligent design. A real woman is a blessing. She is what every real man should desire.