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Sex + Love = Feeling Alone/Wanting to Masturbate

by Mike Stonehill on February 11th, 2013 in Men

February, the “Love” month. It always amazes me to go to the stores these days the day after any holiday and immediately see the shelves stocked for the next holiday, no matter how far away it is. So pretty much January 2nd we are confronted with Valentine’s candy and cards and then of course the plethora of ads for the “romantic” accessories of the holidays. If you are struggling with sexual temptation and lust it can be a difficult time to endure. Especially for you single folks. It can even really make a person feel lonely and left out. I’ve been happily married for 25 years and have a wonderful wife to share the romance with. But I do remember the single days and enduring Valentine’s Day as romance and love were in the air. I must admit I am glad it was 35 years ago and not today where you see so much more on TV and billboards etc. The Bible says in Psalm 101:3, “I will not even look at anything shameful. I hate all wrongdoing. I want no part of it!” Can you imagine how that would be worded in today’s culture? Probably something like, “I won’t even open my eyes, I cant look anywhere without seeing some half naked lady!” It is a struggle and so often especially for us men, it causes a build up of pent up emotions that can easily end up in masturbation and then lead us into the guilt that so frequently follows. For me I think it’s the same as Halloween has changed. Halloween used to be more a celebration of Harvest and dressing up like Superman. Now it’s all Zombies and Freddy Kruger garbage. Valentine’s used to be about love and candy and now it’s more about candy and sex.

     So, the question is how do you deal with the struggles? I am frequently reminded of the old story about the native that was lead to Christ and the missionary went back and asked him how he was doing. The native replied, “There are two dogs fighting in my head. One is a good dog that wants me to do good things. The other is a bad dog that wants me to do bad things.” The missionary asks, “So which dog is winning?” The native replies, “The dog I feed the most.” There is a lot of food for the bad dog of sexual sin just lying along the road we travel each and every day, especially during February. When you smell a tempting morsel and want to eat it up, change directions. But your stomach still is grumbling, “Feed me, that smelled really good, I’m hungry for food!” SO my advice is to go get some health food. Psalm 119:27 says, “Help me to understand your laws, and I will meditate on your wonderful teachings.”

     Isaiah 40:28-31 tells us,Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” If this is a difficult time of the year for you, it is especially important for you to spend time with others that are strong and can encourage you during these times. Remember that Valentines Day is about love. The love of a good friend can help you deal with the struggles you are going thru. Ecclesiastes 4:12 encourages us with, “Two people can resist an attack that would defeat one person alone. A rope made of three cords is hard to break.” Notice it refers to three chords. God being the third chord that gives us the glue that keeps us together and strengthens us. When you are tempted by the bad food along the path, and it makes you “hungry “ for satisfaction, skip the fast food and go to a sit down restaurant and get some food that will satisfy the need fro affection and love and strengthen you. The other stuff is Turkish delight from the Narnia books. It may taste good and there is a lot of it to eat. But it never satisfies and nourishes you. God will satisfy. Start by just taking little bites. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

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  • yotaman

    Thank you so much for those encouraging words of wisdom

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