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Sex + Love = Honoring God on Valentine’s Day

by Brett Sheppard on February 1st, 2013 in Men

Valentine’s Day was never a strong day for me. I recall one particular Valentine’s day I broke up with my girlfriend early in the morning and by nightfall I was with another girl. So of course I’m here to educate all of you on how to honor God this Valentine’s Day! You can start by not doing what I just mentioned above.

The Bible frequently exhorts us to “Honor God.” But gives little direct teaching on how this is done.  Simply put; honoring God is living out the gospel. How we honor God depends on our context.

I can see three different people who might read this blog: Married, dating, or single.

I must admit I’m hardly qualified to give advice to married people seeing as I’m a young single person. However, I’ll give advice from the same place I’d go to get advice. My advice to you married people is to have sex. Seriously. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul writes that it is good for a husband and wife to have sex and the only reason they should not be having sex if they are devoting themselves to prayer, and only for a limited time. So marital sex honors God!  Hear this however; do not attempt to satisfy your spouse merely out of obligation to cultural norms. What I mean is just because it is Valentine’s Day does not mean you have to put on some kind of show. Take time this Valentine’s Day with your spouse to honor God; not culture.

If you are in a relationship but not married you have it the worst. You have to be romantic and charming, or cute (ladies), and you have the task of being intimate with your significant other without removing any clothing. Good luck. Now take a look at what you just read. Those are the things you probably feel pressured to do on Valentine’s Day. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THEM. In your context honoring God looks like growing in your relationship with your sweetheart and keeping that purity ring tight around your finger until it is replaced by a different kind of ring. I suggest a date in public that does not end in one of your bedrooms, or even in your homes if temptation is that heavy.

Single people:

We have it made.  I swear I’m not biased at all though.

If you are single this Valentine’s day rejoice! There will be nobody you have to impress, romance, purchase gifts for, serenade, or even take on a date. That is the positive. The negative is you will undoubtedly feel the soggy tension created by consumerism weighing down upon your shoulders and whispering lies into your ears about how inadequate you are. These are LIES. Replace these lies with the truth: Even if you have nobody to lock lips with, Christ paid a heavy price to call those lips of yours righteous, you are more than adequate. There are millions just like you so find some friends and go out with them. Personally, I will be watching Bruce Willis’ new Die Hard movie with a group of single dudes. Greatest V-day ever!

The raw truth is it does not matter if you are Married, dating or single. This Valentine’s Day, porn is going to be around. It is very likely with all the pressure felt from friends and possibly family; from the media and culture, that viewing porn will look like a great option for many of us. It will be easy to focus on ourselves and presumably a lack of, trouble with, or a want for more interpersonal affection, and porn can appear to be a viable solution for those perceived troubles with love. Do not fall into this trap! Looking at ourselves in this way only wraps us up into a self-centered box of emptiness. My advice is to look outward. Look to others.

For example, my Grandfather passed away years ago. Now every Valentine’s Day I call my Grandmother and ask her to be my Valentine. (Unfortunately she denied me last year on account of me never showing up to take her on a date the year prior.) The point is I could get very depressed looking at my lack of a love life and probably end up viewing porn for a quick fix, or I could reach out to someone like my Grandmother, who every year has to be reminded on that day of how she lost her most loved one.

This Valentine’s Day honor God by looking outside whatever love life you have. Honor God by looking outside yourself; to others.

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