Def:  Objectify –to treat as an object; devalue; not see the true value of the person

Learning to stop looking at women as sexual objects is a big milestone. 

OBJECTIFICATION GOES TO THE CORE
Objectification goes deep for us guys.  It’s a battle of the mind, heart, emotions, and spirit.  It’s tied into the way we look at women and the way we value God and His creation. Objectification:

Dehumanizes women, reduces them to objects – We stop looking at women as real people.  They are not flesh and blood, not people with hurts and wounds, not daughters, mothers, or wives.  They become objects for us to desire.

Is selfish instead of serving – Objectifying is a way of using women for your own pleasure.  In sexual purity we have to move toward serving and giving instead of coveting.

Shows no honor and respect for women – When we show honor and respect to people, we hold them in high esteem.  We put them in a special place in our minds and with our attention.  With objectification, there is no respect and no honor.

Shows no regard for those created in God’s image – We dishonor God when we don’t value others.  Objectifying is another way of demeaning His creation.

Is a type of false intimacy – God has designed us for intimacy – emotional and relational connectedness.  When we objectify, we stop short of true bonding with women.

Sexualizes relationships – Your relationships become another outlet for lust.

Multiplies lies to ourselves – When we fanaticize and objectify we are not seeing the truth of who this person is.  She is a real person with real problems and a real life and a real family.  When we’re staring at pictures or the live thing our minds don’t go to truth.  We have no reference for it, so we make up our own reality and start believing it.  This is self-deception.

HOW DO I WORK ON SOMETHING THAT GOES DEEP?

  1. A piece at a time.  This is a process, right?  If we’ve had two decades of learning to objectify women, we’re not going to get healthy in a week. 
  2. Surrender this battle over to God – Every day, ask God for help; it’s too big of a battle for us to handle by ourselves.
  3. Cut out the negative influences – Work on what you can control: DVDs, Magazines, TV shows and relationships.  Cut out the bad. 
  4. Work on healthy relationships – Most of us real relationships…  where you know more about the other person.  Don’t worry about healthy relationships with girls yet.  Work on real, authentic relationships with other men.   
  5. Healthy Self-Talk – Get a phrase you can repeat to yourself… “She is somebody’s daughter”, “She is a real person.”, “God want me to value her.”  The goal is to humanize the person.
  6. Fill Your Mind With the Love of God – Practice fill your mind with God before you go to work or school, then during the day, then after.  We cannot fulfill the desires of the flesh when we are worshipping God. 
  7. Read Bible Verses specific to valuing people – Jeremiah 1; Psalm 139; Romans 8; Genesis 1 & 2.
  8. Set up boundaries – Where you sit in public places, go to gym at better times, take off your glasses, making certain places are off limits if I’m alone. 
  9. Accountability – talk to another guy on a regular basis about your struggles. 
  10. Take a sexual inventory – Go backwards and figure out where some of your objectification roots come from. 

Objectification is a battle you have to hit from all angles.  It’s not just about “bouncing your eyes”.  You have to work on it defensively and offensively.  You need to gather other men around you to help you work through this. 

—

Need some help?  Got some thoughts?  Leave a comment in the Comment Section and I’ll respond back to you.

Looking for solid accountabilty? Want a safe place to be honest in? Wantg to be with other guys who understand your thoughts and struggles. Join a X3 Online group today. Check it out at www.x3groups.com