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30 DAY PORN FREE CHALLENGE

30 DAYS OF ADVICE TO HELP YOU STAY PORN FREE

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The Temptations, Not The Band From the 60’s/70’s

by Joel L. on July 11th, 2012 in Men

Losing the battle before the battle starts. I played on a lot of bad teams in sports where the score was determined before the race or competition started. I ran cross country and swam in high school. These are two sports when you can just look at the times and figure out if it’s going to be close or not.

Our team wasn’t good, we went into a lot of meets having no chance. We went out there tried our best, our best wasn’t good enough. At times in life it can feel like we are running a losing battle. This is how I felt going up against porn.

I was never really tempted to have a drink that could lead to a drinking problem or smoking or drugs, but porn was something that consistently tempted me. I have to remind myself temptation is not a sin. In Mark 1 we see that Jesus gets baptized. Listen to what happens afterwards Mark 1:12, 13… “At once the Spirit sent him out into the desert, and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan.” Being tempted is not a sin.

I tried to run from it, it wouldn’t go away. The problem with me and porn, it is highly individualistic to look at porn. I wouldn’t want to look at it at work or public places but at home with nobody else around. Temptation can set in, and I would give into temptation time and time again. When we give into temptation, then the sin happens.

I felt that I was the one who gave into my temptation. I could overcome my temptation on my own. If you can do that, more power to you, if you cannot, get help. I found out I was running a race by myself rather than as a team. Defeating porn can rarely be done on one’s self.

In sports and a lot of hobbies you have coaches, captains, teammates and fans/family that are cheering you on, wanting you to perform to the best of your abilities. They are there to help you through your struggles, make you practice hard that way when the challenge comes up you can stand up to it. In order to defeat temptation, I needed help. I have accountability partners, software on all the computers and phones I use for accountability. When my wife and kids are gone, I have people purposely call me late at night just to check what I am doing. I need to stay busy. I am a firm believer in “idle hands are the devils workshop.” Staying busy prevents me from falling into temptation.

I wish I could say that I stopped cold turkey and never fell into temptation again. I did, time and time again. By having the accountability partners/programs and staying busy, it can and does prevent me from falling into the traps of temptation. God still gives us free will to do what we want and I had a decision to turn to porn or not. There was a movie called Minority Report.In the movie they could see crimes committed in the future and stop them before they would happen. They would overcome a possible temptation. Eventually they gave up on this system, human nature/desire can still stop a crime from happening.

Just because temptation happens, doesn’t mean falling into it. Being tempted will happen, what you do with that temptation is your choice and it is mine. I needed help and sought help.

It doesn’t have to be a losing battle. You can overcome temptation.

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  • Nevarbird

    I find porn to be a very powerful tool against temptation. By satisfying my sexual instincts with fantasy and masturbation I can keep them quiet, and so not think of sex at all the rest of the time. Temptation and distraction are thus kept under control.

    • Joel_L

      Thanks for sharing Nevarbird.  I can honestly say that is what I did. I thought because I was still a virgin, that I was better then my friends that would try to sleep with anything that would walk. What happened to me, once I was in a committed relationship I thought the fantasy and porn would go away.  It ended up never going away and almost costing me my marriage.  If you don’t think there is anything wrong with porn and that is keeping you from being tempted to act out sexually, try not doing it for a month and see if you are successful.  Porn I think is a bigger problem then this in my opinion.

  • Harmonikac

    Nevarbird: Porn is precisely the temptatation our “natural instincts” crave. We can either feed our desires, thus give in to our fixation or we starve it. Saying “no” to the instinct is not easy but it is possible.

  • Believer

    Allah says in Holy Quran:

    1. Alif-Lam-Mim.[These letters are one of the miracles of the Qur’an, and none but Allah (Alone) knows their meanings.]2. Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested.3. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars.In these verses Allah almighty tells us that he will test human beings and believe it or not abstaining from porn is ultimate test.One might think why did Allah (God) put me in this test in the first place? Know my brother, Allah did not put you in this situation, Sheytaan was the one who made you do all the evil deeds.Allah says in Holy Quran:168 . O ye people! Eat of what is on earth, Lawful and good; and do not follow the footsteps of the evil one, for he is to you an avowed enemy.169 . For he commands you what is evil and shameful, and that ye should say of Allah that of which ye have no knowledge.170 . When it is said to them: “Follow what Allah hath revealed:” They say: “Nay! we shall follow the ways of our fathers.” What! even though their fathers Were void of wisdom and guidance?171 . The parable of those who reject Faith is as if one were to shout Like a goat-herd, to things that listen to nothing but calls and cries: Deaf, dumb, and blind, they are void of wisdom.172 . O ye who believe! Eat of the good things that We have provided for you, and be grateful to Allah, if it is Him ye worship.173 . He hath only forbidden you dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and that on which any other name hath been invoked besides that of Allah.But if one is forced by necessity, without wilful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits,- then is he guiltless.For Allah is Oft-forgiving Most Merciful.174 . Those who conceal Allah’s revelations in the Book, and purchase for them a miserable profit,- they swallow into themselves naught but Fire; Allah will not address them on the Day of Resurrection.Nor purify them: Grievous will be their penalty.175 . They are the ones who buy Error in place of Guidance and Torment in place of Forgiveness.Ah! what boldness (They show) for the Fire!176 . (Their doom is) because Allah sent down the Book in truth but those who seek causes of dispute in the Book are in a schism Far (from the purpose).177 . It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is righteousness- to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfil the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic.Such are the people of truth, the Allah.fearing.

    • Joel_L

      Believer, some good points through here man, hard to read, it’s a different translation then my Qur’an.  Confused on the point you were trying to make through here though.

  • Brotherinarms

    The difference between adultery and fornication I think is irrelevant here, the root issue is lust. Paul says in Galatians 5:19 ” the acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;” then in verse 21 “…I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
    Again in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Paul says basically the same thing, and sums it up in verse 18 “flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

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