The weight, thrust and speed of a plane at a specific moment during take off necessitates a point of no return, no time to pull up or abort the take off, it must continue regardless of what is in front of them. Ever had that feeling as you sit in front of the computer screen?
I think we all recognise the process of taking off into the soul destroying world of pornography, the taxi onto the run way, the slow process of picking up speed and that moment of no return. I have found that I am not strong enough to abort the take off once I am on the runway, the key is to discover the triggers that propel me to even get into the plane. Having mechanisms such as the great software at xxxchurch helps to abort the take off but doesn’t stop the triggers from instigating my hearts journey into pornography.
Sometimes these triggers are easier to spot than others, having a really crap day, everybody has unloaded and dumped their waste on me or just times of undue stress will get me looking for a quick release, I now recognise this and am able to instigate a pre determined process of accountability and strategies of distance from computers etc.
The problem really comes to the fore when multiple triggers happen all at once with my largest trigger being ‘aloneness’ coupled with stress, depression or even euphoria over a successful ‘event’. As I write this my wife is on a plane to the other end of the country for five days during which, I have the four kids (3yrs to 11yrs), childcare, school, work, an end off year bible college assignment due, a blog to write, my two monthly tax to complete a men’s event and just to top it off my wife and I have not had sex for at least a week (just keepin it real). I tell you the odds are stacked, my boarding pass to late night destruction is all but purchased, am I worried? Yep! So I have instigated some rules, I have recognised triggers, I am planned but all it takes is for one more thing, that left field attack and all laid plans could be out the window.
So what do I do, I have safety nets, I recognise triggers but its still going to be a tough week and i am going to need something extra. I cannot stress enough the love and power available in Christ. I have done all I can, in my own strength, so to not get to the point of no return but my heart is cunning, deceptive and somewhat selfish on its own and a continual leaning into Jesus, the lover of my soul, will be required. What does that mean? It means that I am more like the tax collectors, Gentiles, non believers that Jesus came to be a great physician to and He enjoys being invited into my home and on top of the accountability team, the software, the rules around computer use I also have the God of the universe in my corner, cheering for me, providing the vision of wholeness, and giving strength when mine runs out. I just need to lean into Him when all the guns are pointing in my direction with triggers just waiting to go off. It is a partnership that I am reliant on, a partnership that requires me to do my part but also one that requires me to lean into Him.
Do not leave out the greatest power, strength and love that can be offered, Jesus desires for you and me to be whole and as we spend time in His word, in prayer, and just sitting in His presence we have something completely ‘other’ that we can call upon when the triggers to destruction start taking over.