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30 DAY PORN FREE CHALLENGE

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Why We Love Porn Stars

by Seth Taylor on January 29th, 2016 in Men

we-love-porn-starsHere at XXXchurch, we have a pretty famous saying that goes something like this: Jesus Loves Porn Stars.

Addicts love porn stars, too. But it’s not just that we love porn stars, it’s how we love them. Because we do…a lot.

Every porn addict has their favorite porn stars, and if that addict could shed the shame and guilt for a second to answer the question, “Why them?” they would probably say some amazing things that would reveal more about the true reasons why they can’t stop watching.

Usually, it goes beyond body parts or fetishes and it becomes about how, in some way, that person embodies our fantasies – they see all the things we want at so many levels inside of us and they look approvingly, to say the least, on those desires.

In a weird way, porn stars say our desires are not just good, but whole-heartedly deserved. And so porn addicts love porn stars, as we love the fact that they would allow us to use their bodies as the platform for indulging our desires in any way we want.

I believe this can be traced to how we have taken the deepest and most primal and powerful drives inside of us and, for over a thousand years now, labeled those drives as evil in some way. We haven’t figured out the complexity that the Apostle Paul was pointing to when he said that “all things are permissible, though not all things are beneficial,” so we changed that to say, “All things are not permissible and God is pissed at you if you want them,” instead.

We’ve turned our sexual desires into an obsession, bound in a cycle, unable to break free.

A few weeks ago, a woman asked me what I do. The conversation led to my book and program about helping people become free of porn addiction. Her response was to laugh and say, “What’s a porn addict?”

In her mind, porn is awesome because sex is awesome. Simple.

Her response was both strangely healthy and a bit naïve – but it made me stop and notice that many Christians seem to always start with this idea that at the core, we are this body of death that wants horrible things. The porn stars we stare at start with a different ideology: sex is awesome, your body is awesome – enjoy.

This is why porn addicts love porn stars.

Now, of course, this system of belief has itself been splattered all over the wall of humanity and done immeasurable damage. But we must, for once, understand that this isn’t because our desires are evil. It’s because on a very deep cultural level, we have been driven to the depths of self-hatred and have seen our desires become perverted to serve that self-hatred. In short, our external world is ALWAYS a mirror for our internal world.

Now, you may be asking how this is useful for you while you are trying to break free from this terrible cycle. And my answer is this: understand that porn is not your problem.

It is medication for your problem.

And that porn star you so love and admire is medicating on your attention just like your medicating on theirs.

The question is: “What are you medicating?” And to go even deeper, what do you really want for your life? Do you want to keep trying to stab your eyeballs with your dinner fork so you won’t sin? Or are you ready to finally step onto a spiritual path that is about walking into the unknown for the sake of a peace that passes understanding?

More people are joining me on that path every day. I pray we will see you on that road, where all your desires are seen through the light of grace – and where “freedom” is more than just an overused, under-experienced word, but rather an everyday journey leading deeper and deeper into the mystery of the LOVE that is Jesus.

Because He loves porn stars even more than you do.

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