OPERATION SAVE THE KITTENS
“Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten!” This notion came to us in an email by an anonymous person, and we took it to a whole new level. First the video, then the t-shirt, and now even a song. Take a look around here and find out what Operation Save the Kittens is all about.
Does God really kill kittens?
You would have to talk to Bible scholars about that, but we don’t think He does. It’s just a great way to think about this issue in a non-threatening (to humans) way.
What is XXXchurch’s stance on masturbation?
We have had literally thousands of emails about this particular issue. We have heard all the scenarios. “Well if I think about fruit while I’m masturbating, then that is not a sin.” Well isn’t that clever. Or: “If I’m giving glory to the Lord while I’m doing it, then that can’t be wrong.” Hmmm. Why don’t we just make that part of our Sunday morning services then? We have heard all the pro-masturbation Christian arguments and we wonder if these people are dealing in reality. It’s all very intellectual and quite scholarly, but we still don’t get it. Sorry.
Our stance is simply this: you want to live a life that is honoring to God? Then start pleasing Him and stop pleasing yourself. Stop making excuses and get some control over your life. Yes, it is tough. Yes, we know hormones are raging. However, God is calling us to holiness. Live an extraordinary life. Masturbation will leave you hanging every time! It is a selfish act that pleases no one but you. God created sex to be between a man and his wife. Not a man and his girlfriend and not a man or woman with himself or herself.
How does OSTK work?
The first thing you should do is talk about it. It’s funny and lighthearted while addressing a very important topic. Let’s face it: no one wants to talk about masturbation! However, we all can feel comfortable talking about saving little kittens.
We are also encouraging everyone to form a small Operation: Save The Kittens group with your friends. Call it accountability, call it a small group, or call it whatever you would like, but we call it “Saving Kittens.” It is a much more quaint accountability conversation in a coffee shop when you are conversing about killing kittens instead of asking out loud, “Did you masturbate?”
One way to hold each other to the pact is to send out weekly emails or text messages. All you have to do is send out a weekly message asking your buds if they “killed any kittens that week.” No long conversations or long-winded emails. If you do it through email, we suggest one-liners in the subject of the email.
Possible email subject headers:
* Please, think of the kittens
* Killed any kitties this week?
* The kittens thank you for your support
* Long Live the Kittens!
Send them a link to this page and go from there.
You get how the idea works. If you don’t, then ask your mother.
Get Creative and Share
Let us know what crazy things you have done to implement OSTK. Tell us your stories:firstname.lastname@example.org